I had arrived at 6 PM sharp, just as he had instructed me. I let myself in with the key he had given me. The room was small, almost completely bare except for a small table and a chair, but clean and bright. I saw a small piece of yellow note lying on the table right in the center of the room, just as he’d said it would be.
Next to the note was a set of handcuffs. The sight of them made my stomach knot. I was excited. I bit my lips and licked them like a needy cat. There was some kind of padding on the inside of the cuffs, but I still couldn’t help but shudder, as fear crawled through me. I trembled as I picked up the note.
It was what I’ve always wanted! I encouraged myself and took a deep sigh. This is what I wanted. I wanted to shout to myself. As I started to read what was written on the note.
It was a list of instructions, all neatly typed, and each one numbered in his usual methodical way. He had some introduction at the very top and it said that must follow them all or else I do not love him, and of course I promised him I would. He knew that, and so did I.
I had no choice now. I wanted this to happen so bad. My inner nymph was dancing and kicking and my heart was racing and I felt dizzy and slightly nauseous.
My eyes started to fill with tears as I slowly read more of what he had written. God, it was so worse than what I had expected.
Did he really expect me to—but of course he did! He is so evil! He is so romantic. He is what I have dreamed of in a man, a sexually deviant, sadistic white man. And I would obey him. I wiped my tears away as I forced myself to read through the numbered commands.
“One. Strip yourself naked. Completely. This means not only clothing, but any jewelry, any adornment, any paraphernalia of any kind.
“Two. Pick up your panties and stuff them into your mouth, to muffle any sounds you might make. Pack them in solidly, so that your mouth is completely filled, with no part of them remaining outside.
“Three. Place your bra across your mouth and tie it around your head. Knot it in back of your head at least twice, very tightly, to keep the panties in place.
“Four. Fasten the handcuffs around both your wrists. Close them as tightly as you can.
“Five. Stand on the chair in the middle of the room, underneath the large hook in the ceiling.
“Six. Raise your arms as high as you can, until you can maneuver the chain of the handcuffs over the hook. I have placed it at the precise height so that this can be done. If you have difficulty, persist until you succeed.
“Seven. Kick the chair over, so you no longer have anything to stand on.
“Eight. Hang there. And wait.”
And that was the end of the note.
More tears started to flow as I began to follow his instructions. I’d say I’ve always been a girl’s girl. I cry easily. I get very emotional when I’m nervous. I want to put all my trust in him. He is the white man I’ve always dreamed of. I’ve always been a very submissive girl. I’ve always dreamed of becoming owned and been told to be obey. And … well, I don’t know. White Man has always been my fascination. And I know. HE is the one.
I took off all my clothes. My bra, my panties, my bright red high heels, my stockings, my finger rings, my earrings, even the hairpins out of my hair, like I was Annie Frank ready to step into a gas chamber.
I picked up my panties, opened my mouth and took a deep shuddering breath before stuffing them in. I gagged a little as I packed them in deeply, pushing the stray bits of material past my lips, tucking them in until the entire thing was inside, leaving me unable to close my mouth. I wanted to do right, and I wanted him to tell me that I’ve done a good job tying myself up.
I was breathing through my nose as I took up my bra, twisted it as best I could into a thin strip of cloth and placed it over my mouth. I pulled the straps around my head and tied the ends into a knot at the back, pulling them as tight as I could before knotting them again to keep it secure.
Finally I took up the handcuffs from the table, my hands still trembling as I fastened one of the cuffs over my wrist. You can do it, girl! My inner egotist was telling me and she was goading me on. Just like 50 Shades of Grey! This is every Asian girl’s dream, to obey a white man!
Even with the layer of padding, the feel of the iron tightening around my wrist made me feel sick. I pressed it closed as tightly as I could, and then repeated the action with the other cuff on my other wrist. The feeling of helplessness made me feel so much more feminine and so much more submissive than I already was.
But I wasn’t completely helpless. Well, at least not yet. I could still follow the other instructions.
I felt weak in the knees as I moved to the small metal chair in the middle of the room. As the note had said, it was placed directly under a curved silver hook that hung by a chain from an exposed beam in the ceiling. It was in fact facing the window overlooking the street outside. Anyone who walked by, if he or she decided to look up, would have seen me. A naked Asian slut hanging by her wrists in the small room.
I was trembling as I climbed awkwardly onto the seat of the chair, my cuffed hands making it difficult. But I managed to get onto it and finally to stand fully erect, though almost losing my balance a few times in the process.
Trembling harder now, very slowly and very gingerly I raised my arms, stretching them high over my head.
The small chain that linked the cuffs did not quite reach the lip of the hook. Try I did, I could not get it high enough. At some point I almost wanted to give up. This BDSM game is going too far. What if I hurt myself? How about one last push? You can do it girl. You’ll look so fabulous when he shows up to see you have obeyed all his instructions! My inner slut had completely overtaken me.
With a muffled whimper, I heaved and stretched myself up on my toes, straining to the utmost as I tried to pass the chain over the curving metal. I missed again, and I cried out as I barely managed to keep myself from falling. It was too hard!
I almost collapsed then, but instead I made one more frantic try, exerting every ounce of strength and will, and this time the chain just slipped over the hook. And stayed there.
Now I stood there, my arms stretched above me, the cuffs cutting into my wrists like knives. I was moaning and groaning through the panties in my mouth and I was panting for breath through my nose as my whole body shook and my back and chest was covered in a sheen of sweat and I felt some of the sweat under my arms flowing like a river down the contour of my torso. For god knows how long I stood that way, trying to get up the courage to take the next step.
I was determined. I knew I could do it. He believed in me, and I believed in him. It was a test, his test for him, and I did not want to fail his test.
It took me some time, but finally I took in a deep breath, then pulled myself up by my wrists and kicked at the chair as hard as I could. The small shaky chair teetered and tottered as it fell down to the floor, and now I was hung by my wrists, with nothing to stand on but air.
My arms ached with a horrible strain, and the pain in my shoulders was more than I thought I could bear. The pain in my wrists also increased and suddenly death flashed before my eyes. Memento Mori. OMG! What if he does not show up! I’m going to die!
My legs kicked reflexively, my bare feet swinging and was instinctively searching for support, but there was no support, and the movement only added to the torment of my position. I’m going to die! I was so scared at that moment. After some futile struggle I let her legs hang limp and I felt liquid dripping down my big toe. I had pissed myself without even being conscious of it!
I recalled the last words on the note: “Hang there. And wait.” And I hung there. Like Anastasia Steel, the heroine in 50 Shades of Grey. I must be steely too! I tried to encourage myself.
As if I could not! Hung there, helpless and straining, my body taut, in terrible pain. And I waited. My inner goddess had gone totally silent, and another voice told me, You are going to die if he doesn’t show up! I panicked again and to my amazement, more urine started to drip out of my cunt. And tears were flowing out of my eyes too and I could no longer see clearly. I was crying from both ends.
It seemed like hours that I was being hung there, my agony growing with every second that passed. Sweat poured down my body, and I was moaning through my gag, and my breathing was harsh and heavy through my nostrils, and I also smelled the foul, rancid smell of my own urine which had pooled in a puddle under my feet.
Then at last I heard something—some steps in the hallway outside. Then the sound of a key in the door. And then the door opened, and someone came in, and as I saw who it was I nearly passed out with shock and horror. Then I screamed. Screamed as loudly as I could, though my gag muffled the sound.
Still I kept trying to scream, while my body twisted frantically, struggling, kicking, in spite of the indescribable torment that threatened to tear me apart.
But it was useless. There was no escape, and finally, defenseless, exhausted, and in agony, I went limp and just hung there once more, my eyes wide and terrified above the gag, little whimpering sounds coming from deep in my throat. I accepted my defeat. My white stepdad stood and looked at me, grinning a little as he slowly removed his suit jacket, draping it over the table on which the cuffs had been resting.
“Well, well, well, well,” he said at last, and I sickened inside at the way that he uttered those words. Rage, shame and horror mingled with my terror and pain. I could not stop my muffled whimpers, and I felt myself quivering violently now as I dangled helplessly before him.
He moved now to the small chair I had kicked over, picking it up and setting it a few feet away, facing me. Then he sat down on it, settling back and crossing his legs, as if for a comfortable stay.
“You look so lovely, my dear Asian daughter.” He said. “Truly lovely. Your little boyfriend told me you would be here, and he was right. We have plenty things to do but you are such a fine sight to behold that I think I’ll just sit here and watch for a while. Maybe ask your mother to join us? Do you care to?”
I closed my eyes as I was dying out of shame.
“So yes, your boyfriend has told me just what to do to you, my darling. He told me all about your little secrets. And I think it’s going to be most enjoyable. For me, anyway. Listen.” And smiling once more, he cleared his throat and began to read. “One … “
