A Submissive East Asian Woman's Dreams and Fantasies

It’s not ugly. It’s not anything bad or negative. Being inferior is important. Superior can’t exist without inferior.

Our Superiors want us to embrace our inferiority. They appreciate our weakness as something feminine and natural.

We are most desirable when we are the most honest with ourselves. We don’t want to be the Boss. We want strong White Men to guide us, protect us, claim us, and help us become our very best.

It takes strength to accept our inferiority, but it’s worth it when the loving arms of a strong White Man wrap themselves around you and call you His.

I make it no secret to anyone around me that I had succumbed myself to becoming a complete and total Asian cum slut for white guys.

Every day and night I moan and groan to the pleasures and, sometimes, pain of being fucked by white guys. And while it is still something that I can eschew in front of strangers, relatives, colleagues and my parents, since those are parts of my private lives and they have no right to intrude, there was no way that I could—or wish to—hide from my doctors.

Due to the amount of sex that I was having–and I’m by no means a prostitute, though, perhaps it could be said, I’m actually more depraved than a prostitute; a prostitute had sex with men for money; I did not; I let any white man who wished to fuck me for free–I was having, how should I put it (?), some pain issues. So my family doctor referred me to a gynecologist and he did a pelvic exam on me.

He was an elderly white man, about 6 feet tall, probably weighed more than 200 pounds, and had a double chin and an enormous pot belly. When he saw me he had–or perhaps I’m imaging things again, I don’t know anymore–a lascivious leer, as he looked over my medical chart and asked me intimate questions about my sexual history. I felt mortified. I wished that I could explain that I’m not prostitute. I wished that I could tell him I’m merely a slut, a depraved, horny Asian slut who’s always starved of white cocks.

As I lay on the cold, metallic exam table, my knees bent and my legs spread wide apart, I was suddenly reminded of the number of times that I had to be in this position, and images of countless white men and their hard white cocks penetrating me in this position flowed through my brain. The old white man stooped down and stared at my vaginal opening. Then he stuck two fingers inside me. According to what I was told, this was all part of the routine examination. Your doctor need to check your vulva, vagina, cervix, ovaries, uterus, rectum and pelvis for any abnormalities, the nurse had explained all this to me.

And yet I couldn’t tell what was wrong with me. I couldn’t control myself. I started to feel a tightness building inside me. I squirmed a little on the exam table and to my shock, I noticed that I was getting wet. It was the kind of wetness that you could tell if you are a gynecologist that it was not cum or some other discharge. It was definitely a sign of female sexual arousal. I was mortified. As he plunged his fingers deeper into me, I gasped and my nipples were getting hard, and my body arched.

Images of white men ejaculating inside me flooded my brain. Images and their associated sensation flowed through my body from the tips of my toes to the top of my cranium.

The gynecologist obviously noticed. Of course he did, how could he not? He thought he was hurting me, so he asked me if I was okay, and it took all my concentration of the mind, all my rational, cognitive faculty to not beg him, to not ask him out loud “please keep going or touch my clit. My pussy is on fire.”

Due to those “unfortunate” complications, the whole procedure had to be repeated multiple times. What was supposed to be a routine examination that should have taken no more than 10 minutes ended up taking more than a hour, during which my vagina was repeatedly fingered. At one point I actually had to cover my mouth from moaning out loud.

I felt humiliated beyond comprehension.

And my ordeal was not over. The doctor booked me another visit in a month.

A few year ago, while we were vacationing in Thailand, my owner took me to a WMAF swinger’s party, where every white man who attended either had Asian partners or were interested in having sex with Asians.

The dress code for the party was simple: all Asians had to be either fully nude, or in fetish attire. No requirement for White Men.

My owner and I showed up at the party, in a private house hosted by an American expat and his Japanese wife. I wore a see-through mini cheongsam dress with slits on both sides that rode all the way to my hips, while my husband wore a T-shirt and blue jeans.

We sat by the table and joined the conversation, and of course the conversation was about Asian women. They were discussing “the dichotomy of Asian sluts”: how Asian sluts can be both traditional, submissive, obedient, docile, chaste, and yet at same time, kinky and hyper-sexual. “Asian cum sluts here can never get enough of cocks.” A white man in his fifties jumped in as he felt up his petite Vietnamese girlfriend sitting in his lap. My face was flushed deep red as I heard those blatantly degrading remarks, and seeing the Asian prostitutes that served us drinks in string bikinis only intensified my shame. Then some guy was pontificating on Asian biology: “Actually Asian women are not biologically compatible with white guys due to penis size. Asian penis is smaller on average, so Asian vagina is also smaller and tighter and cannot accommodate a white penis because it’s on average much bigger.”

All the Asians sitting by the table were demure and quiet and did not intrude on the conversation. Most had their heads lowered, or cowered into the arms of their white lovers, or simply sitting with their legs tightly squeezed together and smiling awkwardly.

***

“Every white guy knows Asians are horny sluts and need to be fucked constantly. My Asian slut here loves nothing more than getting on her knees and taking a big load down her throat.” All the white guys were looking at me and my owner with an amused and curious expression.

Everything my owner had said about me is true. Indeed, I love white cock and I can never seem to get enough of it. Ever since I got my first white cock I crave it all the time. The feeling of a white man ejaculating in my pussy, in my ass, in my mouth, or on any part of my skin is like nothing else on this earth. The sight of his white cock pulsating and throbbing gives me the sense of accomplishment that I have never able to receive anywhere else in this world.

“Why don’t you show those nice white men what you are good at? Go and suck some cock. Do it now or I’ll beat you ass right here.”

My owner wasn’t joking about beating me. At home, I was frequently slapped, spanked, whipped, and I was often tied up as it happened to me, and yet after every beating, when I was fucked, I was fucked to the most intense orgasm.

I looked to the white guy sitting next to me; embarrassed, ashamed, and horny all at the same time, I asked him if I can suck his cock. Begrudgingly, reluctantly, as if he were doing me a huge favor, he pulled down his pants, and then, his stained, yellowish underwear, showing his flaccid white penis. I felt humiliated knowing that he wasn’t even hard. I got on my knees and grabbed his dick and put it in my mouth as everyone watched. I sucked on it for a few minutes until it became hard and then I reached into my purse and took out a condom and told him to follow me to the bathroom.

***

Once we were in the bathroom he pulled me by my hair and French-kissed me. He was really big and strong and I was incredibly turned on at how rough he was. My pussy was starting to get wet as I continued to play with his penis. In my heart I was so glad to be at this party. Here, unlike in the States, every white man knows how to handle an Asian slut like me. They would never show me any mercy. They would never hesitate to call me racial slurs. And they all act with that air of superiority and absolute dominance that makes me swoon, as if love at first sight.

He threw me on the bathroom floor and started ripping my clothes off. I struggled to put the condom on his dick before he crushed down on top of me and started fucking my pussy.

Then he flipped me over and started fucking me doggy-style. I felt my pussy juice was leaking down on my thighs and there were tears in my eyes.

At this moment the door to the bathroom was nudged open and I heard a voice says, “Fuck, yes!” And before I realized what was going on another guy had popped into the bathroom. He pulled his jeans all the way to his ankles and pushed his penis into my mouth. I was screaming to myself: I’m getting spit-roasted, and I felt an immense orgasm building up inside me.

***

After the first guy came, the second guy took his place. The first guy pulled the condom off his cock, made me hold it in my hand and wave it to the people watching from outside the bathroom. And then he dumped the semen from the condom into my mouth and told me to swallow it. I had only one condom inside my purse and the second guy was fucking my pussy bareback.

I wanted to scream, am I doing a good job, my master? Where are you, my owner? Are you proud of me, my sir? And yet I could not hear nor could I see through the cloud of tears before my eyes. I was drowning and there was no hand to pull me out of this ocean of misery, pain, humiliation, torment, and sexual ecstasy.

My eyes were dragomans for my tongue betied and yet they told full clear the love I fain would hide.

Deep repose, mysterious refreshment—for her whose eyes, although delicate interpreters of the world, whose mind, although an acute observer of of the world, must now bear for ever the indelible imprint of the barrenness of her life—to feel herself transformed into a creature foreign to humanity, blinded, deprived of her rational faculty, almost a fantastic unicorn, a chimaera-like creature conscious of the world now only through her pussy, her ass and her mouth.

And when the devout religion of my eyes maintained such falsehood, then turn tears to fire and be burnt for liars.

More people started coming into the bathroom. And yet I couldn’t see or hear anything other than feeling erect penises covered with pubes entering my holes. By the time the second guy came inside my pussy, I had 1 cock inside my mouth, 2 cocks in each one of my hands.

I vaguely heard doors close and open and through a thick fog I saw even more feet. And pretty soon I had a cock in my ass. Besides cocks, I also felt calloused hands. They were groping my breasts and pinching my nipples. A hand also pinched my clit. It felt like a pair of pliers was being applied to my clit.

Overall I had 20 different guys using me in the bathroom during the party. I was fucked in my pussy 20 times. I was fucked in the ass 10 times. My mouth was used to clean their cocks after they were inside my ass or pussy. I had no less than 100 orgasms.

***

By the time they had finished with me, I was completely covered in cum. Cum was leaking out of my pussy, my ass, my mouth, and even my nostrils. There was cum on my face, in my hair, on my tits and ass, and even my hands and legs were slimy with cum. I was so exhausted, that I felt asleep in a pool of cum.

I woke up hours later still laying on the dirty floor and found myself playing with my own pussy. I was so horny thinking what happened to me I was sticking my fingers into my pussy while I was asleep, and as soon as I was semi-awake, I scooped out the cum from my pussy and put them in my mouth. I twisted my own clit to give myself another orgasm as I whimpered, moaned, and cried, as the vision of bliss, like the glorious rays of the sun melted and scattered in a cloud of dreams over my entire body.

Risen from the horizon of the heavens and shedding a mysterious light in which I was bathed, I felt a hand reach toward me and a dog collar was placed around my neck. Teary-eyed, I looked up and saw my owner, bright, radiant, angelic, leading me by a leash and instinctively, I started crawling, crawling, like a dying prisoner crawling toward freedom, I crawled out of the bathroom and back into the living room in which the host was still entertaining the guests.

In the center of the living room were several small dog cages where all the “Asian sluts” were put inside. My owner led me to one such cage and I crawled in and then I heard the latch lock behind my ass. I cowered in a fetal position. The host of party walked to my cage, pulled it up with one hand and placed me on top of a table. He put on a condom and fucked my pussy through the bars on the cage. So basically, the first guy who fucked me used a condom. The last guy who fucked me used a condom. No one else in between used a condom. After he finished, he waddled over to my face, with his big white shaft swinging in between his massive thighs, and bent down and smiled at me. The condom was dangling and drooping heavily with a huge load of cum inside. I was staring at it, and he said, “So, do you agree? Asians are horny sluts who needed to be fucked constantly.” I was too weak to say anything back, and merely nodded my head.

Objective:

My goal is to become the best cum dump for white men. I have experience serving white men both as a student and as a working professional. I have been trained in oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, and BDSM sex. Through my cumulative skill set, and extensive work experience, I endeavor to seduce every white man and stimulate him to ejaculate into at least one of my three holes.

In addition to my three holes, I’m also capable of pleasuring white men in many other ways: I’m skilled at giving massages, especially foot massages. I have experience giving tongue bath to a white man’s entire body. I’m eager to lick his armpits, feet, ass, and balls when called upon to do so. I also have training in serving as a “yellow meat toilet”. When I was working for a Wall Street firm, I specialized in drinking white men’s urine. In fact, I would like to add that I have drunk as much of white men’s cum as their urine.

Skill set:

I’m fluent in Chinese, Japanese, and English. I have expertise in HTML, Matlab, Java, and Python. I’m an expert in cum swallowing and taking anal penetration bareback.

Education:

I went to Johns Hopkins for my undergraduate education, majored in finance. I was on the dean’s list for three years in a row. I completed my M.B.A. from NYU Stern school of business.

Work Experience:

I worked as an intern financial analyst associate in New York City. After half a year, I was promoted to financial analyst associate. I then worked as a operating manager at a Fortune 500 company for a year before I went to become the research manager of a Wall Street firm. After two years, I went on to become the senior manager at a hotel group in Shanghai, China.

Undergraduate Experience:

I had initially enrolled at Stony Brook University after graduating from high school, and after a semester carrying a 4.0 GPA, I transferred to Johns Hopkins University with full scholarship, and I was on the dean’s list for three years in a row.

Being relatively attractive, with my long silky hair and creamy white skin, I have always the center of attention for various Asian boys, Asian boys, because culturally I was proximate with them. I did not find any of them attractive, or even up to my standard. Some of them physically repelled me. They were usually short, average-looking, chauvinistic, or have the personality of a blank piece of paper. Their only redeeming attribute was their intelligence, but once I was at Johns Hopkins, I was immediately disabused of that misconception. The greatest geniuses were almost always, uniformly, and consistently, Caucasian.

I had tried my best to pretend that I was modest, but even I could not hide my contempt and condescension of those worthless creatures.

I remember there was one Asian boy from high school who was particularly infatuated with me. He tried to call me, asked for my whereabouts from other classmates, exactly what he had wanted, I was never exactly sure. And when I rejected him, he threatened to kill my family. My family didn’t call the police and have him arrested only because we pitied him, and also because he had by then already dropped out of college and no one knew where he went. He was not the only one. There was another Chinese guy who told me he wanted to commit suicide if I did not accept him to be his girlfriend.

Those were the melodramatic dramas that I, as a moderately attractive Asian female, had to endure throughout my high school and college career.

While they were still trapped in their own bubble, and brewed in their love-sickness, I have already escaped. I adopted an English name and forgot the me that was just a carry-over of an immature version of me.

It was in my financial mathematics class that I met, for the first time, my first true love, a handsome graduate student from Iowa. He was 6 feet tall, with dark brown hair and a soft spoken voice. By any standard, he was, and I immediately realized this, a much superior man than any of the Asian “men” that I had been accosted to due to my poor culturally ambient environment.

I had thought, up to that point, because of my impoverished experience, that love was impossible, but love, as it turned out, all happened all too naturally. Without any conscious effort, we grew close and slowly—in serendipity—we became romantically involved.

The turning point—no, that’s not the right word, but how else should I phrase it?—the culminating point happened after he told me he was rejected by Princeton for his Ph.D. pursuit, and because he had already finished his master degree at Johns Hopkins, he could no longer work as a teaching assistant, so very soon he would be out of a job. He was pretty depressed during that period, and I didn’t know how to comfort him exactly. At the time we were still friends, albeit very close friends already. And one day, I had an idea, and this was the idea that I had been keeping in the back of my mind for all three years of my undergraduate studies. I didn’t know how I should even approach him for my idea. In order to comfort him, I decided, it was time for me to lose my virginity to him.

Like most Asian girls, I was shy and reserved. I did not have much of a sex education and I only had faint inklings of what sex was like, but I have read romance novels and saw pornographic images online. I knew how a penis was supposed to look like, but I didn’t know what it tasted like, what it smelled like, or how it might have felt like inside my pussy. A penis was like a mythical object to me, and, someday, as I soon would come to realize, I would learn to worship it.

I invited him to my apartment, went into the shower while he sat on the sofa in the living room, and once I was done washing myself, I came out, but I didn’t put my clothes back on. Instead, I walked out naked and sat down in his lap, fully naked, and still pretty wet.

A thought suddenly flashed before me. This naked body of mine was the one that so many Asian boys had sworn to love and cherish and madly and zealously pursued, and now this prize, that was my body, my virginity, was rightfully given to the most deserving one. I was beaming with happiness.

My white boyfriend stiffened and asked me what was going on. I saw his pants move as he was getting hard which turned me on immensely. I put my arms around his neck and I told him that I was going to make him feel better, feel better about everything. He got the hint and start caressing all over my naked body and before I knew it, I was on my knees sucking on his cock, and it was so big, I could barely fit it inside my mouth. I used both of my hands to caress his shaft. Then he pushed me on the floor and fucked me in doggy style for ten minutes until he came inside me. That day, I finally lost my virginity, and I had about a month before I got my bachelor’s degree.

After that day we fucked every day. And after a couple of weeks, I could tell that he was feeling a lot happier. We went out for dinner, movies, walks by the ocean front, and within a month, he said he had gotten a job offer at Google. So, in stead of doing his Ph.D., he would be flying to California and making 100K a year. And to celebrate, we went on a weekend vacation where we went into a hotel and fucked like rabbits for almost two whole days straight. My moaning was so loud that we got a noise complaint.

In May of the same year, I graduated and accepted an internship at a Fortune 500 company. My life was just beginning.

In the meanwhile, so I’ve heard, several of the Asian classmates I knew from high school had done so poorly academically that they were forced to drop out of school. The divide has deepened. We have now officially separated into two worlds. The Asians—mostly Asian men—who failed miserably in life are consigned to the netherworld, the poor underclass. The Asians—mostly Asian women—who succeeded in life are joining the white upper class. I have never been back to high school reunion. There is none. And I have no intention of ever going if there were. Our worlds have categorically disentangled.

Graduate Experience:

My first experience with my first boyfriend had opened a new world to me, and I was obsessed. I had been sexually repressed for all my life due to certain expectations, and now I was free. After working and climbing the corporate ladder for two years, I decided that it was time for me to re-educate myself. I joined Stern School of Business at NYU and learned more about myself by gaining leadership, improving communication skills, and deepening critical thinking which are necessary to navigate me through the complex world of finance, business, and politics.

A brief list of accomplishment I had gained:

Lost my virginity to a white guy and without a condom.

Asked a guy to call me beautiful with his cum still on my face.

Lost my anal virginity.

Got throat-fucked.

Slept over with a guy and woke him up with a blow job.

Learned to worship white cock.

Had sex with a man who is 20 years older than me.

In addition to the above list, I had a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish, in order to prove that I can be the best cum dump for white men that there is.

Drink semen from every white man who ever ask me to.

Drink a white man’s urine after he cums inside me.

Get gang banged.

Be whipped to orgasm.

Be suspended from a ceiling and whipped.

Participate in at least one pornographic photoshoot.

I’m proud to say that I have already accomplished nearly half of the goals in the above checklist that I have set for myself, during my graduate study to be the best cum dump for white men.

And I believe, through rigorous training, I had not just obtained a higher degree, which is after all just a piece of paper, but I have also officially graduated from being an innocent, shy, reserved, sexually inexperienced Asian girl to a promiscuous, slutty, libertine, and sexually depraved Asian cum dump.

I’m proud of all my accomplishment and I look forward to continue improving myself and climbing new heights in a more challenging environment.

When I was 26, I got married to an American man twice my age. I lived with him and his four kids from three previous marriages for about a year before we got divorced.

By the fifth month of our marriage, which technically would still have been our honeymoon period, he started to have issues in the bedroom. I didn’t know if it was psychological or physical. Our sex life at that point had become practically nonexistent. I knew when we got married that for an older man like him sooner or later he would slow down but not to a grinding halt and not in such an abrupt manner.

During the dry spell I was constantly horny. I tried dildos and vibrators but they were just not the same as the real thing. I’m a very attractive Asian woman, and I deserve some cock! I often screamed to myself during that time. Later on, I learned that he was cheating on me with other women.

About the ninth month of our marriage, I started to view his oldest son in a different light. He was 19 year old, a pure white, budding, virile white man. About 6 feet 2, and muscular. At first it felt very, very wrong, to even have those thoughts fleeting through my mind, but I couldn’t help myself. It got even worse when I saw him masturbating to WMAF porn on his computer. He didn’t see me but I walked past his room and spied on him for a moment. He had a massive penis, bigger than his dad’s. And the fact that he has a thing for Asian women made me start imagining depraved things. I got so horny after seeing it that I ran into my bedroom, locked the door and started fucking myself with my dildo.

_ _ _

One day, when I was about to go to the bathroom, I saw him taking one of my dirty panties out of the laundry basket and sniffing them. I didn’t say anything and just slipped away quietly so he didn’t see me. A part of me was disgusted, another part of me was appalled, and a third part of me was intrigued.

So I kept an eye on our laundry. I noticed the pattern: my panties would disappear from the laundry basket after I took them off to go to bed and would be back in the basket the next morning. So he always took the last pair of panties that I wore. And in several instances, they came back caked with a layer of dried cum. This turned me on immensely and I started masturbating in my panties every day before taking them off, so my virile, white step son would get more benefit from them.

I was feeling ashamed of myself, but I couldn’t help myself. I had enormous sexual libido. Ever since after high school, I had blossomed into a very beautiful Asian girl. I know all the men lusted after me. I felt I deserved this happiness. And to be honest, he and I are of similar age. If we had met in school, he would be a freshman undergrad while I would be a last year grad student, but the fact that I was married to his dad made everything seemed so wrong, so sinful, and yet so lustful. Every night before I went to bed, I fantasized about my virile white stepson. I would do anything to feel his huge white cock inside me. I even started walking past his room naked from the shower, in the vain hope that he could catch glimpses of my naked body. I needed him. I just didn’t know what to do. I was so desperate for his huge white penis.

After two months of sexual tension building up in the house, I decided to end the charade. One day, after my ex-husband had gone on a business trip, my step son and I were on our own. I took my evening shower, put on an oversized T-shirt that was about mid-thigh length, revealing my bare legs and feet. This time I didn’t put my panties in the laundry basket. Instead, I rolled them and folded them into a small ball, held them in my fist and I went and knocked on his bedroom door.

I slowly pushed his door open, walked in, paused his TV, which was connected to his laptop, and said to him, in a very calm manner: I think you have something to tell me. He looked puzzled but also worried. I told him don’t worry, I’m not angry with you but you are regularly doing something that involves me. He started to get red on the face so I think he realized what I was talking about. I said: again, I’m not mad or anything. As your step mom, I love you and I will do anything for you … Then I opened my hand and held out the panties I had taken off. Here, this will save you going into the laundry basket. He said I’m sorry I won’t do it again. I said it’s okay, you don’t need to be sorry. I don’t mind. Being accustomed to American culture by now, I had learned how to interact with white American men and had taken the cultural cues to be honest and open. So I asked him: now, do you want to be honest and tell me about it? He said it started because he was curious when he saw my panties in the laundry basket and he couldn’t resist looking at them and sniffing them. Only sniffing them? I asked him, because some of them had dried cum on them. He said when he watched porn he would masturbate with my panties.

I said okay I know you’ve been taking my panties soon after I put them in the laundry. And that he kept the latest pair I’ve taken off. I didn’t want him to ruin the panties he took from me yesterday because it was a very expensive pair. Blushing, he reached from under his bed and handed me back the panties I wore yesterday. I said, okay, are you still curious about my pussy? Or do you want to just pretend that we have never spoke and you can keep taking my panties from the laundry but know that I’m okay with it. He said, yes I’m curious.

So I got on his bed, lifted up my T-shirt, spread my legs wide apart, revealing my naked pussy underneath and told him he could look, feel, sniff, taste or whatever else if he wanted. He had my full permission. That was what he did for about fifteen minutes. Then I said we both need to get some sleep. We can continue this another time. He said yes that’d be amazing.

_ _ _

My reasoning at the time was, and this may sound naive, that as his step mom I should give him the proper sex education. It’s very important for white boys to know how to properly release their sexual energy.

After that evening, he seemed to have had much higher sexual energy. He was watching porn and masturbating furiously. I spied on him and I thought I should give him space before intruding or interfering with his behavior.

And my giving him permission, for better or for worse, have emboldened him. He would stop me in the middle of the living room, as I was doing chores around the house, and ask me, in front of other relatives, friends or even strangers, to take off my panties. And later he would hand them back to me by throwing them in my face. And invariably the panties I received back were always stained with his cum. I felt it might have gotten out of hand. Showing him my pussy and letting him play with it, instead of calming him, was what escalated it.

One evening, after I had taken my evening shower and was ready to go to bed, he barged into my room, half naked, with a raging hard on, and told me that he needed me in his room. I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around my torso, and tiptoed, like a cat, to his room. As soon as I entered, I was suffocated with the smell. It was a mix of stale cum, sweat, and male testosterone, and yet I couldn’t help but feel a tingle in my pussy. On his TV screen was an Asian woman being gang banged by a group of white men. He told me to sit on his bed with my legs spread. I was still wet and I didn’t want to get water on his sheet, so instead he told me to sit on the floor as he continued to watch porn. His big white penis was only a few inches away from my face, and he was stroking it. My panties were wrapped around his proud shaft. As soon as he came, he used my panties to cover the tip of his penis, and then shoved it into my mouth.

Another time I woke up to him rubbing his cock in my asscrack in the middle of the night. I told him this was not acceptable but then the next evening I woke up with it on my face. I tried to deny that I was liking it. Eventually whenever he was horny he just barged into my bedroom and tried to mount me, seeing if he could get his cock into my pussy.

For a while I would only let him rub his dick on my pussy but not put it in, but after another week of struggle in futility I caved in and just let him fuck me, but that he could only cum on me, not in me.

It had gotten to the point that he would literally grab me and push me into his room, interrupting whatever I was doing, and stick it inside me however he wanted and fucked me until he cummed inside me. When he was done he would just pull out and push me out of his room and leave me sitting on the floor with his cum leaking out of my pussy. It made me feel like a dog, but it was also super satisfying to me.

A year after my marriage, I decided, since my husband was no longer interested in me, as I was his fourth trophy wife and he has thousands of options anyway, I filed for divorce and moved in with his son. We lived together for three months, it was the happiest three months of my life, and afterward he found a new girlfriend and dumped me. I found another job in a different city, a new boyfriend and moved out. Ever since I’ve been turned into a complete Asian cum dump for white men.

Another Friday evening. Another night of debauchery. I meet a guy at the bar, as usual, in back alley of the downtown area where local Asian girls go to meet foreign men, most of whom comes from America. He is tall, and ruggedly handsome, with brown hair and blue eyes.

He takes me back to his apartment, a loft in a luxury condo overlooking the city. We both strip out of our clothes until we are completely naked and we stand before the clerestory window daydreaming over starry streets below.

He tells to me lay down on the polished wooden floor and spread my legs. I thought he’s going to fuck me. Instead, he straddles between my face and lowers his body and tells me to lick his balls. The thought of a white man making me doing such degrading things pushes me over the edge and I feel an an orgasm building up inside me.

I put my hands on his hairy thighs–the massive white-pinkish muscles covered by a layer of golden mane–and start licking his balls. It’s salty, meaty and stinky. He squats over my face, like he’s about to take a dump, Asian style. I’m his toilet, his “Asian squat toilet”. I squirm and moan as I suck his balls and watch as his cock grows larger and more erect. I gently lick his balls. Then I suck on each one of his balls. Then I flick my tongue against his balls. He compliments me. “You have better techniques than a Chinese prostitute.” The thought of being compared to a real prostitute makes me horny.

He shifts his feet and lowers his ass crack directly over my face. First my eyes are staring directly at his ass crack. Then my nose is directly under his ass crack. Eventually my mouth is touching his hairy ass and he directs me to lick his ass.

As soon as I stick my tongue out he sits down further making me bury my entire face directly into his ass crack. The masculine smell muffles me. The degradation loses me in an inhuman world of shame, humiliation, and pleasure. The momentary illusion of my dignity as a woman, as a human being, is erased and I become his toilet seat.

He gets up a little to allow me to breathe and then sits down on my face again. I open my mouth wide and wait for the sensual degradation.

The hair on the back of his balls ruffles against my face. He laughs and I tell him to take a picture as souvenir. He grabs his phone from the nearby table and aims the camera at my face, which is near his ass. I smile for the camera; I indulge in my own depravity.

After the photoshoot he gets up, turns, and sticks his penis into my mouth. His whole body is on top of me, and his hands are outstretched, like he’s doing a push up.

He gets up again, and tells me to lick his ass crack some more, as he starts jerking his cock. I splay open his ass cheeks with my fingers and buries my tongue deep, trying my best to get as deep as I can. He grabs his phone again and takes a 10 second video.

Is it normal for a man to have one ball hanging lower than the other, I wonder as I continue to flick my tongue against his hairy, pinkish ass crack.

He starts jerking his cock vigorously. After a few minutes, he stands up, and drips his cum over my face, my chest, and my stomach. I’m bathed in his cum. Some drips on my lips and I taste it with tongue. I bathe not just in cum, but in glory, a sense of accomplishment overwhelms me, I think to myself.

I’m a yellow urinal for this white guy. I say to myself out loud, and my pussy spasms. I’m so near an orgasm, without even touching myself. He steps over me and I sit up on the floor, with cum dripping all over me. Smile for the camera. He tells me. Stick your tongue out. He tells me. I pose for the camera. I massage my own breasts and stick a finger in my mouth. I suck on my own finger and then put it in my pussy. I masturbate myself to climax. He watches. He records with his phone. He grins and laughs.

You cannot understand how much I long to escape.

In seeking this orgasm, I deny myself for nearly ten years. Ten years before this day I did not know what an orgasm meant. Before this discovery, I was never really able to orgasm during sex, and, yet now, I’m able to orgasm even without having sex. So much has changed in me. I can no longer go back to the original me, the innocent me, that had long been gone, the sexually repressed me. And yet this freedom is so taxing on my body. I have finally become what I had always fantasized, a free-use prostitute for white men.

My whole body convulses and I collapse on the floor with my fingers still inside my pussy. He grabs a bottle of wine from the refrigerator, pours out a glass for himself, sits on his sofa and starts watching TV. I crawl to the bathroom and cry to myself. Cleaning myself, putting my clothes back on, I go home and masturbate again before I cry myself to sleep.

Once you have the courage to take the first step, it seems, you will get over it rather quickly, and it becomes routine, almost boring, like eating rice everyday or going to work.

The guy takes me to his apartment. I strip naked, crawl on top of the table in the living room. He puts a black dog collar around my neck and cuff handcuffs on my wrists. Then he sets up the camera and starts filming. My entire body, from head to toe, is within the video frame. My face is fully visible as well.

He steps out of his boxers, waddles over to my ass with his big white cock swinging and glistening with pre-cum. I wait anxiously and I feel his hand slapping my bare ass. The tip of his cock, warm and slimy, touches my bare skin and his hand runs over my back.

I whimper and he tugs the leash attached to my dog collar and slaps me a little harder and faster and I feel blood rushing to my ass and my face is getting flushed too. He walks over to the side, so his cock is facing the camera, and continues to slap my ass, while his other hand, massive and bugling with veins, presses down on the back of my neck, like how you handle a small pet. I squirm and wiggle my ass. He starts touching himself, apparently excited.

He walks over to the front, lifts my face up by the chin, and slaps my face. The slapping sound reverberates in the silent room. I look up and smile coyly and he puts his thumb in my mouth and let me suckle on it. By now his penis is fully erect. Then he puts two fingers into my mouth and starts sliding it back and forth. I suckle on it, and look at the camera. I smile.

His cock is bulging now and he starts thrusting his cock in and out of my mouth. I take his cock and tilt my head so my face is facing the camera, and again I smile.

His waist swings back and forth and he pumps his cock into my mouth in rhythm and presses my head towards his crotch. He plays with my hair and then tugs on the leash. My face is flushed more and I feel a tingling sensation in my pussy.

He holds the other end of the leash and whips my back with it as he continues to pump his cock back and forth into my mouth. The room is silent and there is no other sound besides the flailing sound the leash makes against my flesh and the occasional gagging sound from my throat.

Then he groans. After he groans, he says yes, in English. That is the only conversation we have since the beginning of our sex session. He takes his cock out of my mouth and starts slapping my face again. My hands, handcuffed, are obediently placed on the table. He slaps me across my face hard and I hear ringing in my ears.

He grabs my hair and starts pumping into my mouth and I gag. The sound of my mouth smackering against his cock which is hitting the back of my throat replaces the ringing noise in my ears.

I gag and cough and back away from his cock as I try to catch some breathe. He backs away, then pushes forward again and presses his cock into my mouth again. I stick my tongue out and licks his cock, to avoid him gagging me again. He points at the camera. I look at the camera and imagines the image of myself: my Asian face, with a white cock. My heart throbs and my pussy spasms.

He slaps my face yet again, indicating that it’s time to get serious, and starts deep-throating into my mouth. I squeeze my eyes and open my mouth wide. It feels like swallowing mouthwash, as I regurgitate and try to throw it up before it enters my stomach–refreshing, painful, and healthful to the soul.

After a few pumps he finally let go of my head and slaps my ass as I lower my head to cover my red cheeks. My ass cheeks are just as red as my face by now.

He walks over to my behind, and aims his cock at my ass. He plunges it in without a condom.

I look in the direction of the camera again. Then I turn my head to look at him. He smiles and slaps my ass.

He puts his hands on my hips and start pumping. I feel my pussy moisten and my heartbeat increase. My hair is a mess. There is a sheen of sweat on my forehead.

He starts increasing speed and I feel pain inside me, a stinging sensation accompanied by the feeling of being completely filled.

He slaps my ass again as I yelp out in pain, and he continues, but at a slower pace.

He puts his hands on my waist area. His hands are so big that the tips of his fingers touch my rib cages. He pumps me hard and fast and I squeal and groan in pain. My lips part wide and I feel my own saliva drooling onto my hands. I feel the muscles around my inner thigh tighten and moisture is coming out of my pussy. My whole body starts to rock back and forth to his motion, my breasts wiggles beneath me like being blown by the wind.

He reaches toward my face and grabs the leash lying next to me and grabs hold of it. His hand brushes against my face and I feel how cold his hand is, and realize how hot my face is.

He tugs the leash as he continues to pump in and out of my ass and I feel the dog collar tighten around my neck, which makes me suffocate and gasp for air. There is now a fire building through my entire lower body and my heart starts racing.

He pulls out of me and walks over to my face and stick his cock, which just a few minutes ago is inside my own ass, into my mouth. I put it in my mouth and starts sucking.

I’m on all fours for all this time and I sense stinging pain in my kneels. My palms are red from supporting myself, then I change to supporting myself with my elbows and my elbows are sore.

As he pumps his soiled cock in and out of my mouth he grabs the camera with his other hand and holds it in his hand as he films me sucking his cock from above. He lowers the camera so it’s level to my face, and he tells me to “Look at the camera and smile.” I swallow a mix of my own saliva, his precum, and my ass juice and glances at the LED light on the metallic optical etui.

He grabs my neck and squeezes, and pumps hard before he let go of me and walks over to my ass. My ass and feet are nearly touching each other and dangling over the edge of the table. The rough edge cuts into my flesh and it’s uncomfortable.

He shows the video recording and I see my ass is covered with deep red marks. I cover my face in shame and bite my own lips. I feel my nipples harden and I try to squeeze my legs together as a wave of orgasm is building inside me.

He continues to stick his cock back into my ass. My asshole feels it’s being split apart and it feels raw and painful. I yelp out in pain and he slaps my ass again to shut me up. He grabs my hair and pushes my head backward. My whole body is convulsing and I’m starting to orgasm from anal.

The yelping morphs into whimpering as I feel waves of pleasure rush to my brain.

He groans as well and yet he is not finished.

He flips me on my back and gags my mouth with a ball gag. My handcuffed wrists are lifted over my head. He continues to punish my asshole. My whimpering morphs into pleading. The pleasure becomes painful murmuring, the painful murmuring becomes pleasurable moaning as pleasure and pain mix together and I enter delirium.

The video is still recording and the idea that the video will, if he wish, be shown to my parents, my classmates, my colleagues, my supervisors, and all the friends who know me push me over the edge yet again and I orgasm.

I’m being made into a whore, a free whore, for western men, and even worse, an anal whore. Even real Chinese prostitutes don’t do anal. Those thoughts flash before my mind and, after just the second wave, another wave starts to build.

My whole body is being thrown and tossed around like a rag doll. He continues to pump in and out of my ass. He pulls out, flips me over, put me on all fours again and restart the torment. He is now doing it faster and harder. I sense he is on the edge of cumming. I cooperate and start to moan loudly.

He slows down and pulls out. Half of his cum is deposited into my rectum. The other half is dripped on my ass. I lie prostate on the table, panting.

He shakes the few last drops of semen on my ass, like he is peeing at a urinal.

With my ass up and my face down, I close my eyes. He takes the camera, holds it close to my ass and pussy, and then holds it to my face. “Smile for the camera.” he says to me. I open my eyes and smile.

We walk together into the bathroom to clean up. He leads me to the door, kiss me, and says goodbye. I go home, with the video, and watch myself being fucked by yet another white man. I start touching myself and before I know what is happening, I masturbate myself to another orgasm.

Next weekend, I have scheduled to meet yet another white man, and he will repeat what is done. There are 52 weeks in a year, and I have being fucked by 52 different white men. This is just the snapshot of a day in my life as an Asian slut.

It’s as quotidian as eating rice and going to work, on repeat.

All the white men whom I’ve dated have claimed that they are “very experienced”; even though I could tell they were lying, to save their egos I pretended not to know otherwise.

As I had just come off of a dating spree (in the course of four weeks I dated four men, who all of whom were dominant, strong, kinky, and, of course, white, including a French businessman living in Shanghai who was obsessed with dominating Asian girls), I was in the interest to educate and try something new. Even though I had always been naturally submissive, and the feeling of being degraded, humiliated, and subjugated made me orgasm and often orgasm multiple times, I was also constantly on the look-out for new experience.

In order to allow this new guy to open up more to me, during our conversations—as he continued to pretend to be “very experienced”, I led him on, like a lawyer leading a witness, by saying that I actually preferred men who were inexperienced. His reaction was hilarious. “Oh, that’s super hot. I love it.” He was a typical, naive American man, inexperienced with Asian women, well, in his case, inexperienced with women in general. For instance, he had asked me if I swallow. He even asked me “What would a guy do to make you do anal.”

And of course, the first time we had sex, it was pure vanilla sex. But it was good sex. His penis is large and thick, and he stretched me and filled me until I came.

On the second date he asked me if I ever watched porn and suggested that I show him “the kind of porn that turns you on.” As he said it, flippantly, pretending to be a tough guy, he waddled to the bathroom with his arms flinging and I heard his piss hitting the toilet bowl, I did some search and found a video that I considered mild. It was an Asian woman being suspended and whipped … I made sure that he wasn’t present when I did the search.

When he got back we started foreplay with the video playing in the background and suddenly he stopped and looked at me as if I was insane. “I don’t know if I can do this.” He said it as he leaned over and snapped the laptop cover shut. Is this how I look to normal people? I wondered in my mind.

But this didn’t stop him from having sex with me. We continued to foreplay and when he spanked me, I asked him to spank me harder. He didn’t respond, and, as I turned around to look at him, he was staring at me like he had just discovered America.

It had become very obvious, very quickly, that he had never been with a masochistic Asian slut.

He started to spank me harder and asked me how it felt. I said, it felt good but “I think you should punish me for enjoying it too much.” He nodded and kept going until my bare white bottoms were imprinted with the red silhouette of his palm and five fingers. He asked me if this is what I wanted and I said, “I want you to bend me over and call me a chink whore.” He responded, “Wow, you say really dirty things.” Naturally, I asked if he want to gag my mouth, with his dirty socks.

Finally he leaned back and expressed that he was having issues. He had never been with anyone who enjoyed being degraded like I did. I had to explain to him that I genuinely find it hot. He said he wasn’t sure if he could do it. Instead of doing more role play, we continued with normal sex and he came on my face and commented that it was so kinky.

What a adorable, innocently inexperienced white man.

During the third date we were hanging out in my apartment and he randomly discovered my drawer of sex toys. I guessed to him I must have been into weird stuff so, being vanilla as he was, he naturally had a lot of questions for me. He asked me to explain stories behind each one. He even asked me if I was ever sexually abused. I started expanding on a few of my past sexual experiences. He officially got interested and asked if I could show him. I went over some of the basics: spanking, choking, humiliation, race play. It was obvious that he had never dominated someone and found some of the things repulsive. I tried my best to explain to him that, it’s okay.

To be honest, I felt a little intimidated as I explained more to him, as his eyes became intense and it was as if he were outraged. We spent at least an hour talking and in the end, I decided that, instead of doing more talking, the best way to show him was by physically serving him in the way that I was taught by my master. Grabbing hold of the whip from my toy drawer, I knelt before him, presented the whip to him, and begged him to punish me. Faltering, he stood over me and gave me one lash. I cowered before him and cried out in pain. Then flung the belt to the side, carried me over the edge of the bed, and fucked me violently.

I climaxed just as he was calling me a chink whore.