I lost my virginity to a white man

PART 1

I was romantically involved with an Asian boy when I was in high school, but we were just friends. I knew he liked me, and he knew I liked him, but we were both too scared to admit it. We never even held hands or hugged. We were platonic friends. After he graduated from high school, he tried to contact me, but my mother forbade him to ever talk to me again. I heard that he became extremely miserable and tried to commit suicide a few times. At the time I was also in college and I was miserable too. I was depressed and I took out all my energy on studying. I excelled in college and landed a job as an associate manager for a five star hotel corporation, and I was dispatched to Shanghai, China. At this point in my life, I had yet to have any sexual relationship with anyone. I always wished that I could save my first time for that Asian boy I used to know in high school. I had never heard from him again ever since. He had no facebook, no linkedin, no twitter, no social media presence at all. I heard from some classmates that he had dropped out of college. I was very depressed and I always had hoped that he would contact me again, but never ever again did I hear from him.

Then my boss, a white expat from England, came into my life. The five star hotel in Shanghai that I worked for was almost exclusively serving foreigners, white foreigners from Europe, North America and rich Middle Eastern states such as Saudi Arabia, and all the staff were Asians. They were Chinese waitresses, servants, housekeepers, greeters, etc. They were all very servile and you can almost feel the racial dynamic if you had stepped into the hotel. It was an exorbitant hotel, with enormous dome-like hallways and golden rims and large crystal lights, and all the guests were white, and all the servants were Chinese.

Long story short, I became sexually involved with my boss from England, and lost my virginity to him. Every night after work he brought me into his penthouse at the top of the hotel and ravished me hours and hours. I had often cried as he penetrated me, as the memory of that Asian boy I used to know in high school resurfaced in my mind. He took me out to the deck with his massive hairy arms around my thin waist and I can see all the Asian staff gawk and stare in shame and humiliation–yet another young, beautiful, smart Asian girl conquered and subjugated by the bulky, superior white western men. The young Chinese men–all handsome and good looking–looked down in shame. They knew that they were no match to a white man like the boss who took my virginity. They were poor, they did not go to colleges in America, and they were Chinese. I was educated in America, in a prestigious college, and I make more than 10 times what they make, and my boss makes 100 times what I make. Even if they liked me, they would not dare to approach me, because they would be intimidated by my education, my salary, and my status as an American citizen.

But in front of my boss, I was nothing but another worthless Asian whore. He would wave his big western cock in my face and smirk and tell me how small and pathetic I was. I felt so humiliated and ashamed of myself. I felt so inferior in front of him, which made me all the more sexually aroused, and I had the most intense orgasms as he fucked me.

Then one day, as I was checking my email, I saw a message from that Asian boy I used to know in high school. He wrote that for the last 10 years of his life he has been thinking of me. He wrote of how miserable he has been. I cried. I cried. I cried. Yet there was nothing that I could do for him anymore.

I had lost my virginity to my boss, and I am now a white man’s little asian whore.

I blocked him and never heard from him ever since, but deep inside my heart, whenever my white boss fucked me hard, spanked me, whipped me, or used a dog collar to lead me crawling around the room, I remembered him and tears rolled down my cheeks.

PART 2

I lied when I said that I never heard from him again. I wished it was the case. He used a different account and contacted me again, and this is what he wrote: “Are you really going to let me live in this misery for the rest of my life? Give me a release, please. It’s been 10 years. At least let me know if you are married so I can know that you are happy and that you have moved on. All those years, I have been living in misery. I wished I can forget about you, but it’s been impossible. I tried so hard to forget about you, I tried so hard. I was so depressed that I tried to commit suicide.”

I still remember the morning when I read this message. I had gotten out of bed, tearing my naked body away from the hairy arms of my white boss. It was my daily routine to check emails before getting to work. All of a sudden, when I saw this message, my face turned pale and my whole body started to shake. Without even realizing it, tears started to flow out of my eyes like rivers. I immediately rushed to the bathroom to clean myself. I was completely naked and my boss was laying in our bed, his hairy Caucasian belly and his massive, hairy white legs and feet were completely exposed. I felt so ashamed. I almost felt like as if he could see us and I didn’t want to imagine the misery he must have been living through. I sobbed uncontrollably and tried my best to cover my mouth to not make a sound. I was scared that my current boyfriend might see me in this state. I did not know what I would tell him. I did not know how I would be able to explain, why all of a sudden his precious little Asian jade is all crying for no reason.

Deep inside, yet at the same time, I felt a tinge of happiness. He loved me for all those years. He really did. I smiled to myself. Then the realization that I will never be able to see him again made me cry again. I was crying and laughing to my self in the bathroom.

I don’t know if I am making any sense now because as I remember what happened, it feels as if no amount of words can heal the emotional wound that has been my heart. It feels as if no matter how much I write, how matter how hard I try, I can’t forget about this feeling.

I did not block him this time. In stead I changed my name. I changed my last name to just one letter. I changed my first name to my generic English name. I deleted the name of the high school that I went to.

I can’t bare to hurt him again. But I just can’t ever be able to talk to him again. I hope he can forget about me. I hope he can find another girl whom he loves more than me.

Because his once chaste, virginial jade is now no longer what he remembered. This once prudish, innocent Asian girl who refused to even let him touch her, who once only knew love in the vaguest sense of the word, is now nothing but a dirty little chink whore for a white man. She is just another cheap asian whore who will do anything to climb the corporate ladder. Only the memory of me will be able to live in his mind from now on.

PART 3

I suppose the story does have a happy ending. I tried so hard to hide the message that he sent me from my boyfriend, but I looked at it everyday and my boyfriend suspected that something was wrong. He saw me staring over the laptop over and over and crying, and he grabbed my laptop over and saw what I was reading. He said that, first of all, he couldn’t believe that I would still be having feeling for a loser like that asian boy, and that I would be very severely punished, more severely than ever before. He had considered what he had done to me before to be merely part of a game in the bedroom, but now he was angry, and jealous of the fact that my heart was not 100% devoted to him, and he wanted me to be taught a lesson that would make me remember for the rest of my life. Second, this was considered stalking–what he was doing, that is, sending me a message even after being blocked, and trying to elicit pity from me by allegedly threatening me with suicide, so my boyfriend decided to report the incident to the police, and have him either arrested or put out a restraining order so that he would never be allowed to contact me again.

To be honest, there was no way even after high school that we would be together again. Originally I had gone to a state university just like he was, and that was when he first tried to contact me, but he did not go through. Once again he got scared, and he quit. If he had got hold of me back then, we would still be able to be together. But after the second semester I transferred to NYU a top-tier college that’s almost the equivalent of an Ivy League school, and at that point, there was no way that we would be together again.

The whole reason that I liked him in the first place was because he was the smartest student in our high school. He didn’t just have the highest GPA, he was also very handsome and good-looking, but this all changed after the April of our senior year. He did not get into any Ivy League School and he did not become the valedictorian. Meanwhile a lot of our classmates who were more mediocre than he was had gotten in. From what I heard, he was rejected by many of the Ivy League Schools that he applied to and was wait-listed at a bunch of other elite schools and they would all eventually reject him. He lashed out at his classmates, and became very unstable emotionally. No one wanted to talk to him anymore.

In Asian culture a woman must be inferior to man. In Asian culture, a woman almost always seeks out a man that is stronger than her, taller than her, makes more money than her, and has a higher status than herself. Sure there are perverted women who do not adhere to this rule; what they are doing is perverting the natural order between men and women. And in our circle, in the circle of the good Asian students, college is one way to measure that relationship. Those colleges are ranked, and it’s very important to us who got into the highest ranked school. Because I had gotten into NYU and he was only languishing in an elite state college, that meant I was at a superior standing in relation to him, and there was no way he would be able to deal with it anymore.

When he added me on facebook, that was another semester after our first year of college, I did not add him, and he thought he had found the wrong person. Because he didn’t know I was at NYU and I did not have a profile picture. That was when I changed my name. I knew we would never be able to be together, ever again. Even if I wanted to be with him, even if I still loved him, which I didn’t feel anymore at that point, the fact that I had gone to NYU meant that he was now inferior to me and he would not be able to balance his emotion. No, not him, that poor little freak who was always so emotionally unstable and who would never be able to succeed in life. Looking back, I suppose I had shown love to the wrong person. He wasn’t the smartest person in our high school after all. If I had known who got into Harvard, I would have dated him, but at the time everybody thought he was the one who was going to get into Harvard.

My boyfriend, my boss, the man from England who went to Cambridge and worked as a trader for Wall St. and now is the Chief Executive Officer of the corporation that I worked, wanted me to be hurt. He tried whipping me with his belt, but he had realized, I would get scarred too easily. My skin is too thin and I would bleed too quickly. So he stopped whipping me. He wanted to humiliate me. He made me strip naked and kneel inside his apartment for an entire day. He handcuffed my wrists and my ankles behind my back so I couldn’t move. At evening he brought back a cage into our apartment and told me to sleep inside the cage. I hadn’t eaten anything for an entire day and my head was dizzy.

In my fainted mind I once again reminisced to the days of innocence, when we were all just about to grow into adulthood. That was the last period of my life that had so many intense meaning, before the onset of a hopeless, meaningless humdrum had taken over my life. The images of him flashed before my eyes, and tears rolled down my cheeks once again. I did not think I loved him anymore. Yet the memory of him brought back so much pain. And whenever I was suffering, whenever my boss punished me and tortured me, I remembered him. It was the pain that brought back the memory of him. That pain was purely emotional and it was a thousand times worse than any physical pain. I guess deep in the deepest chamber of my heart, I still ached for him.

After spending a night inside cage, the next morning, a group of white expats showed up in our apartment. Some of them were old, some young, some tall, some short, all in all there were 15 of them. Then my boss stepped over and said that I would be gangbanged by all of them.

Submission oozes out of an Asian woman like no other women in the world, my boss had always said, and he loved me precisely because of my submissive nature, knowing that I would never dare to disobey.

They took turns going in and out of my vagina, my anus and my mouth and I felt cum being scooped out of my vagina, and then another dick was inside me. I had never felt so disgusting as at that point in my life. I felt like a public urinal.

Afterward I stayed in the shower for all 6 hours, and no matter how much I scrub, how many times I rinse myself, I could not get the feeling out of me. I had been soiled from the inside out. I did not just need a shower to cleanse my body, I also needed a shower to cleanse my soul, but what soap do I use to cleanse my soul?

This was the punishment that he had given me, and afterward, he said, since I had been sullied by so many men, I was no longer his girlfriend. He would allow me to continue to serve the corporation in my current role, but he would no longer allow me into his apartment. In fact, he said, he would give me to one of his subordinates a very old white man who was bald, and weighed over 300 pounds. Our relationship ended. Just like that, I was taken out like trash, and, the next day, another Asian girl took over my spot.

At least I kept my job.

Yesterday I dreamed of my first love again.

PART4

In my dreams I still dreamed of that asian boy. I dreamed that he became a mutli-billionaire. I dreamed that, twenty years later, he came back again. This time, he was no longer the derelict, hopeless young man that he once was, and probably still is now; this time, he came back. He came back with all the power in the world. He came back on top of the world and everyone else is beneath him. He became the most successful man in the world. And he came back. He came back. He came back to see me again. And I would never be able to forgive myself. I would kneel before him, supplicating before his feet, and I would wipe my own tears with my hair as my tears drip onto his boots. And of course he would no longer love me. At least he would still want to see me, to see how miserable, how broken I have become. And he would smile. I dream. I dream that he has overcome all odds to succeed.

It’s easier for a woman like me to get the kind of jobs that I do, because I pose no threat to the men in power. I am nothing but a pawn to them. But he is different. He is a menace to them, so that is why they must do everything to destroy him. So that’s why he must suffer so much. But in my dreams of dreams–oh god I wish he would succeed. I wish he would clear all obstacles and become the most powerful man in the world. Is it too much to ask for? Is it going to happen? How much I wish! How much I wish.

But at least I can still dream. I dream. I dream.

He was the smartest boy in our class. He was. He really was. Even the ones who got in Harvard and MIT knew he was a genius. Oh, please, please overcome! Because I still believe in you. I believe you can do it. I can never tell you now. No, I can’t. But I know you will succeed. Please god let this happen. I will give my life to see the day when he comes back as the most successful man in the world. I pray.

Meditations on the Power of White Cock 7

I fumbled with my phone as I tried to open the camera. He was pounding me hard and it was difficult to get a grip on my phone.

It was a dream come true. To be fucked by a WHITE MAN. Not many asian girls get to achieve this feat; the number of white men into asian girls is incredibly small and the percentage of those white men who were a 10 were minimal but I landed the jackpot. Granted, he was quite drunk and I practically offered myself to him as a free fuck—and I feel ashamed of being yet another easy girl for white men, but hey, what’s an asian girl got to do? I’ll never get the chance to be fucked by a true alpha muscular white god.

I started taking videos. I needed to document this once in a lifetime event. To show my asian friends and make them jealous. Some of them haven’t been fucked by a white guy in months and they’ve grown bitter and cynical, thinking they would never land a white guy anymore. Well bitches, I’ve hooked up with this amazing hunk and he used me good. Funny how asians get catty with each other, but it’s a highly competitive environment when there’s so many asian slaves and so few white doms willing to fuck us.

I know deep in my heart that this white man wouldn’t fuck me again. It’s always the same with all the good white doms, they use you once and throw you away. But I have this video now and I would finger myself to this moment for the years to come. To remind myself of the greatest moment of my life. The moment I achieved the asian girl’s dream and to be fucked by the epitome of power and superiority.

Meditations on the Power of White Cock 6

One type of men that asian girls always lust for are white, older, hairy, muscular men. It is the complete contrast to what an asian “man” is and fully explains why so many asian girls refuse to date asian … an asian has ugly asian features, accentuated by feminine traits that make them look young. They are smooth and hairless and have no musculature at all. I guess that’s why so many white man loves to fuck asians so much. It’s everything they’re not and everything they could never be, and the asian girls crave what they do not have.

These asian girls crave for attention from their white “daddies” because they know they have disgraced their traditional asian families by being a whore for white men and their real fathers will never love them. Hell, their asian fathers might even have disowned them and kicked them out.

So those poor asian girls seek out other daddies. The big white ones that will make them feel safe once they are wrapped around in their big muscular arms. But most of all, they look for the ones that will not just fuck them hard but also make them hurt, stick them inside tiny dog cages, whip them with their belts, strip them naked and tie them up and exhibit their asian flesh for all to see. Because, in some twisted oriental way, those asian girls want to be punished and abused. To be treated like dirt. As if it’s their own way of atoning for bringing shame to their family. And once the chink whore has been completely used and they feel no more shame, then the chink can finally be a good whore to white men and forget about ever going back to their families again.

A chink girl’s thirst for White Man’s cum

Words escape me when I look at his cock.

My heart starts to palpitate and my breaths become short.

I feel a hunger, not a normal hunger, but a desperate one, like my life depended on it. All my senses have honed in on his massive white cock. I cannot tear my eyes off it. I look at its every inch. I look at the color and the way it hangs down majestically.

I listen to the faint swish of the air as he lifts his cock and lets it go. I can hear the weight being pulled down by gravity. I can hear it swing back and forth like a mighty pendulum.

I want to touch it, to feel it, to marvel at it. I want to feel the heaviness and the size on my face. I want to see if I can grip it with my hands or if it’ll be too thick.

I can smell a hint of the musky masculine scent from his cock. If only I could bury my face in it, then I can whiff in the strong smell of his manhood and inhale everything I can take from it.

But most of all, I long to taste it. To taste a big white cock and drink up every drop of his precum. I want to taste his thick shaft running down my tongue and down my throat. I want to taste every inch of his cock and every drop of my tears as he abuses my throat. Finally, I want to taste his cum, every single drop of that hot white load shooting down my throat. Like drinking from an oasis in the desert, I am a parched chink girl being given the thing that gives me life: a White Man’s cum.

my thirst for White Man’s cum

What it means to be an asian girl?

When the Big White Cock is deep in your throat;

When it’s choking you and you’re gagging for dear life;

When it’s balls-deep and you’re gasping for air;

When he slaps you until your slant chink eyes roll to the back of your head;

When he slams his heavy White Cock on your face and you feel winded;

When you feel like you’ll pass out from the ecstasy and lack of oxygen,

But all you want to do is take more of the White Cock down your throat;

All you want is to please the White Man some more;

To please him and do anything he says.

To be an asian girl is to put White Men first;

To serve White Man and exist for their pleasure. And it’s the best feeling in the world.

* * *

They approached me while I was sitting at the corner of the bar.

It was my first time alone in a bar frequented by westerners and I was a petite asian girl surrounded by all these big, muscular white men who came to China to teach English. It was like being in a dream, but I didn’t dare approach any of them, my submissive asian nature overriding my lustful need for white cock.

I noticed some of them were eyeing me from the bar, but I pretended not to notice. They slowly approached my table and I could hear my heart pounding louder and louder as they got closer.

The man in the red cap with the letters MAGA on it spoke first, “Ni hao ma, girl, come with us.”

His voice was deep and gruff. He did not say it as a request, it was a demand.

“Yes, sir.” I replied in my broken English.

They took me back to their place and took off my clothes. I suddenly felt terrified. I’ve never been with white men before and I wasn’t sure if I’ll be able to take a white cock like the tiny asian dicks I’ve been used to.

They took their clothes off and, for the first time, I saw a white cock in person. Their cocks were huge and meaty, completely different from my asian boyfriend’s thin dick. Hard asian cocks normally just point upwards, but I could see the weight of their thick heavy cocks being pulled down by gravity.

“Something wrong?” The blond guy asked, noticing the fear and awe in my eyes.

“I’ve never been with white men before … I’m not sure if I can handle those.” I meekly answered.

The two white gods laughed. “You don’t have a choice, chink.”

My fear welled up inside me as they turned me around. His cock thrusted up inside my tight asian pussy and I muffled a scream.

At that moment I knew …

I became an asian slut.

An asian slut for white men.

* * *

An Asian girl’s biggest, greatest, and oldest dream is being with a White Man, a man who is superior to asians in every aspect, especially for those asian girls who grow up in western countries, who are exposed to standards of beauty, sex, and masculinity set by white males, and thus making them become fully aware of their own racial inferiority.

The sexual contact with White Men is the holy grail because it allows asian girls to forget all their problems of being born into an inferior race. Needless to say, most asian girls don’t seek asian boys, and much less have sex with asian boys.

For asian boys, watching WMAF porn where a powerful, dominant White Man fucks a petite hyperfeminine asian woman can help them relate to the social-sexual dynamics of the superior race in relation to an inferior race and become more understanding of their asian sisters’ and mothers’ choice to have sex with White Men.

After all, having sex with White Men is a net positive for the asian race, since it allows the inferior race to receive superior white genetics into their bloodline, thus upgrading their own inferior race.

* * *

I was gagging so hard and I couldn’t breathe. His massive cock was more than what I bargained for and I wanted to take a break. I started to pull my head up but his hands suddenly clasped the back of my head.

“What do you think you’re doing, you fucking asian slut? Did I tell you to fucking stop? You don’t get to stop until I tell you to stop.”

I started to struggle as he tried to push my head back down. It was too big and I couldn’t take it.

“Now listen to me you little chink. You’re only made for one thing and that’s serving white men. I don’t care if you fucking choke, you’re going to suck my cock and you’re going to suck it well. Understand?”

His words cowed me into submission and I meekly nodded my head.

As I slowly slid his cock down to the back of my throat, I focused on his big white cock and buried my face in his musky pubes.

I kept repeating my mantra in my head, “I’m an asian whore and I live to serve White Men” as his powerful white cock kept pumping, making me gag, as thin streams of tears flowed down from the corners of my eyes. “I will do anything for White Men,” I said to myself and my belief toughened my will to endure.

* * *

For this is the moment an asian girl is irrevocably turned into a chink:

When the asian girl is penetrated by her first White cock.

Before this moment, all the asian girl had to feed her lust was by watching White men in WMAF porn fucking other asian girls and fantasizing about being fucked by them herself.

She already knew she has a distinct preference for White men, even before she’s had any experience with one. She has never been attracted to asian boys … and always, the lure of a big White Cock fills her with insatiable lust.

She knows she wants to be submissive.

He knows she’s a masochist. Asians only know slaves and tyrants. The concept of equality is foreign to them.

She can recognize the power that White Men represent, but still, she remains curious, at how it’ll feel to be fucked by one.

And finally, she feels it.

The moment that massive, thick, White Cock pushes against her asian cunt, the asian girl knows she is woefully unprepared. It is bigger than anything she could have prepared for. It splits her asian pussy extremely wide and she screams. The White Cock is relentless and no matter how much the asian girl tries to push back against it, the White Cock pushs deeper and deeper into her asian pussy.

And in the midst of the excruciating pain, the asian girl feels a wave of relief overcoming her. She finally feels complete and at peace. To be finally fucked by a real man and realize her true purpose as an asian … the asian has come to terms with being a chink.

* * *

His massive White Cock slowly teased my asian ass and I shuddered.

“You want this don’t you, you little chinese whore? You need a big white cock in your chink pussy just to feel alive,” he said as his cock head brushed against my tight asian asshole.

“Yes sir, please fuck me, I need it.” I replied. I was hungry and desperate to be fucked. I needed a Big White Cock, something that would fill me, destroy me, and make me new; I needed to feel it inside me, fulfilling my purpose as an asian.

“You’ll regret saying that,” he said with a chuckle.

And suddenly he rammed his massive cock inside, every inch sliding past my tight asshole. I screamed. I thought he was going to go easy on me. Most guys I have been with went slow at first, but not him.

“It hurts!!” I pleaded. It felt like my hole was being torn apart by the thick girth of his cock.

“I don’t care chink!” he said as he chuckled again. “I told you, you’d regret it.”

“Please, you’re too big. White cock is too much for me”

He chuckled again. “Chink, I’m only halfway in right now.”

I screamed again as he pinned me down and thrust the remaining inches inside me.

* * *

The chink whore doesn’t know what is coming to her.

She doesn’t realize the magnitude of pain she’ll soon experience.

She has never ran out of tears to cry before, but tonight she will.

She will completely lose her voice from screaming and she will be rendered mute.

She has never felt what it was like to be completely powerless, to be ravaged by a real man and be unable to stop the onslaught of pain and suffering that will rain down upon her.

This is the calm before the storm.

The chink whore playfully teases and begs for it. She flirts with the White Man, eager to experience what it’s like to be fucked by a White Man for the first time.

But soon enough, the asian slut will know.

The storm of the White God shall crash upon her weak, frail chink body;

The White God will take everything from her, and the White God will smite her to redemption;

The White God will break the chink, will make it bleed, and the chink’s cunt will be sawed asunder.

The asian whore has been weighed on the scales with the wrath of the White God and her worth has been found.

This is the judgment of the White God to all asian sluts who are deemed unworthy of being called upon to worship him.

Scream, all that the pathetic asian whore can do now.

asian inferiority

Why are asians naturally inferior to white men?

It’s simple.

Every asian, regardless of being male or female, is born with a feminine body made to be used.

Look at the asian’s small and frail build;

Asian is like a delicate flower, exuding weakness with its thin frame and smooth body;

Asian’s body is the complete antithesis of white masculinity;

Asian does not have any body hair; it does not have any musculature; it does not have any big bone structure; and its sexual organ is tiny (if it’s a man), and very tight (if it’s a woman).

It’s Darwinian evolution.

Asian evolved to be the servant of White Men;

Asian lost all traces of aggression in order to be better suited to a life of submission.

The White Man knows this and he will take advantage;

He knows that he is fulfilling his evolutionary instinct and biological purpose to dominate asian, to derive pleasure from its pain, and to use whatever means necessary to put the asian in its place.

He will use asian’s feminine body for his pleasure and that is the natural order, now and always.

I love worshiping White Cocks so much.

I love worshiping White Cocks so much.

I love how White Men ooze masculinity with every pore;

How they’re very much aware of their superiority with every smirk;

How they know they can put any asian man to shame with their divine white bodies;

How they can put any asian girl to her knees with just a flex of their arms;

I love how cocky they are. They’re real men and they know it. They don’t even need to show me their massive white cocks to get me cumming. Just showing their perfect muscular bodies and smirking at me is enough to get me all hot and bothered.

I would give anything to kneel in front of this Big White Man and worship him. I guess that’s how you know I’m an asian girl.

When I see a White Man, the complete opposite of all the loser chinks that consist of my entire asian family, I feel that intense mix of emotions: of jealousy and envy, of lust and hunger, of shame and submission.

They know they have complete power over any asian girl and they relish it. With every word I write to praise White Men, I wish I can give more power to the amazing White Race so they can dominate and enslave me all over all and all will be right with the world again.