Tag: Asian women

My humiliation is your entertainment. My pain is your pleasure. My suffering is your amusement.

A fragment of my sexual life

My sexual awakening as a woman has always been centered around white men. They say you never forget your first kiss, your first love, your first hug, your first time holding hands. Everything first that is remotely sexual for me has been always associated to white men, with myself being keenly aware of my petite, frail body and my inferior status as an Asian female via-a-vis the much taller, stronger, and more superior white male.

It’s the way I’ve been conditioned. Ever since I turned 18, I knew, for the rest of my life, I would be serving, worshiping white men and their white cocks, bowing down to their feet and offering myself to them.

No Asian man needs to know just how used and broken I have been by the superior white men. Because the only time I’ve had Asian male friends was when I was in high school. After I turned 18, I’ve been white-only.

I’ve been used as a gang bang toy by white men and they have stuck inside my holes whatever you could find: beer bottles, permanent ink markers, broomstick, cucumber, eggplant, hair brush, etc. They called me a “used up yellow whore”, as they fucked me, and I cried to myself in shameful orgasm.

I was pimped out by my white owner and I have given in to any white men who wanted me. I loved the idea that I was a cheap Asian whore, and it made me feel happy. I was finally living the life that I truly desired.

Every white man around me knows that I was the school slut, the neighborhood slut, the company slut. I loved feeling how worthless I am. I loved feeling how inferior I am.

My first love as a gang bang whore

One time, a guy friend texted me and asked me to come over for a party and when I got there I saw 5 other guys in the room, all total strangers to me. He introduced me to them by saying that I was the Asian slut he was referring to, the one who was gang-banged by 12 guys during the previous party.

I was extremely embarrassed but also very horny.

They talked about me like I wasn’t even there, saying very racist stuffs about how Asians are born to be whores, how much Asian women crave superior white cocks, and how Asian sluts like me get turned on by humiliation and degradation. I knew it was wrong but it just felt so right.

Because in school and at work, those are the things you were never supposed to say. Those are the things that I’ve been craving. The realness. I had an insatiable craving for realness. That was what I needed. And I fucking loved it.

I just turned 21 that year but I was not a virgin.

We started drinking and then one guy found an empty beer bottle and told me to sit on it. Being the pathetic, dirty yellow whore that I was, I did as I was told. Seeing how obedient and submissive I was, the other guys all got interested and they came over and started groping me.

I slowly started to realize, no matter how much the polite society would want to genetically and biologically modify human behavior, guys—even liberal white guys who champion equality all day—still get turned on by female obedience, even if they would not admit it openly.

The hands behind me first started by massaging my back, then slowly drifted down to touching my ass, eventually wrapping around my torso to cupping my breasts. The hands in front of me slipped from my breasts to my stomach, my hips, and stopped around my thighs and rubbed me there back and forth.

Eventually one hand found its way into my pussy and started flickering my clit. Then many more hands fought against each other toward there, stretching my pussy lips, squeezing their fingers inside between my vaginal opening against the glass beer bottle, playing with my pussy hair (at the time I didn’t shave my pussy hair. It was only after I turned 22 that I started laser treatment to remove all my body hair.)

I also felt hands on top of my head and at the bottom of my sole. They were like a bunch of urchins seeing a woman for the first time.

They also fingered my ass and stuck their fingers in my mouth right after. Bursts of laughter and loud yelling ensued as I licked it up. They enjoyed humiliating me and I was turned on by my own humiliation.

Eventually I begged them all to fuck me and they used all my holes.

I was extremely sore the day after.

Sex, especially rough, humiliating, and degrading sex, can be the most cathartic expression for a woman. It’s the equivalent of men playing sports. The violent means, though condemnatory by the polite society, is what drives our female instinct. Without those, humans stop reproducing.

The entire night I was fucked no less than 10 times and they had all taken turns cumming inside me. My mouth, my pussy, and my ass were filled to the brim with their invigorating nectar. I was covered in their cum, their sweat, their spit, and my own urine.

I felt disgusted with myself. I hated myself with being such a worthless whore, and yet I couldn’t stop. I cried to myself knowing what a dirty yellow slut I was and as I cried, my hand meandered to my pussy and I started to play with my pussy again.

I still masturbate myself to the memory of what happened.

Living as a trophy wife in another country

I did study abroad in my senior and that was when I met my first husband who decided to take me in as his trophy Asian wife. I wouldn’t say that my behavior was typical, but I actually knew quite a few other Asian girls who were in similar living arrangements.

I wouldn’t mention names, for obvious reasons. They have all moved on and they are all having successful careers and, I assume, some of them are married and have had children.

So one girl I met while I was in London was a Chinese girl from Columbia University. She was originally from Beijing. Her father was a scientist who was a permanent staff in some science laboratory at Yale. She had been engaged in a SM relationship with a man she just met in London. She showed me pictures of her inside a dungeon and on a few occasions she asked me if she’s interested in joining her boyfriend. We talked briefly but the chemistry wasn’t there, so it never materialized.

Another girl I met was from California. She was also Chinese, but born and raised in US and she actually became the trophy wife to a friend of my husband. We were very close and we are still friends to this day.

Even though we were all Asian, our husbands and sex partners were all old white men.

“There is no wrong with it. Love is love.” I remember one of them saying.

“I dislike Asian guys. I want to make sure Asian guys go extinct.” Another one would chime in.

“My parents want me to have strong masculine grandsons.”

From my experience, I would say, something like 80 percent of all Asian women are engaged in some sort of sexual liaison with white men.

Some might think it’s wrong, or abnormal, and in the past, I’ve tried to justify and find reasons for it. But over the years, I’m honestly tired. Moreover, I’m simply over it. I’m an Asian woman who is attracted to white men. So?

If you are looking for reasons to justify your action, or to even draw attention to it, then you are actually admitting that something wrong with it. The fact of the matter is, there is nothing wrong with love. Love is just love.

While the vast majority of my girlfriends are Chinese and Japanese, the vast majority of my guy-friends are white, and it’s like a perfect match made in Heaven. (I don’t have that many Korean girlfriends, primarily because I don’t speak Korean and I’ve never lived in Korea.)

I often enjoyed pairing off my innocent Asian girlfriends with white guys whom I know are thirsty for Asian pussies and it actually warms my heart, to be able to bring friends together.

My 50 Shades of Grey

It was during my stay in London that I had the most powerful orgasm during simulated rape. My then husband was very aggressive and sadistic, and before he fucked me, he beat me, whipped me. He could only get hard when he saw me crying and begging for mercy. And when he fucked me I couldn’t hold back my moans as I came. My entire body felt tingly and warm.

The more I was degraded, the more cruelly I was treated, the more turned on I was. The worst humiliation of my life was the realization that I finally found someone who could give me what I actually wanted, and yet it was someone who treated me like absolute garbage.

Even prior to meeting him, I’ve had my share of fun. They were mostly with younger white guys who were naive and uneducated about female psychology, and with him, for the first time I was able to grasp what it feels like to be alive.

“My humiliation is your entertainment. My pain is your pleasure. My suffering is your amusement.”

This was what I repeated after my punishment every night, and this morning, as awoke from an uneasy dream, those words vaguely were whispered once again to my ears. Somewhere from the deep unconscious those words resurfaced and they were sent me into a trance. I was reminded of the past and it was like a dream, a beautiful and sweet dream, mixed with tears, laughters, sweat, and cum.

A perpetual question that humans ever try to answer: whether this life is just a dream and the dreams that we dreams are real.

Because what we dream in dreams seem to so much more real, and so much more interesting than life itself.

The adventures of a very depraved Asian mother and her half Asian son

My soul is a consumed by a gentle fire, surrendered to the intoxicating whirlwinds of emotions of love, lust, sinful hunger, fueled by the flames of forbidden love.

I would die of shame if anyone ever find out.

I’m, just as you are, disgusted of myself. I hated myself for the depravity that I stoop myself in. I wish I was not born this way. I wish I was normal. I wish.

Yet this is my life.

So today I sucked my son’s cock while he was on the phone with his girlfriend.

There is this girlfriend my son had met in college that he’s been frequently hooking up with and today while my son and I were having some intimate movements together—I had his entire cock down my throat—his phone rang. It was his girlfriend. He ignored it at first but then she called again. I told my son, “It’s fine, answer it,” and reassured him that I would be quiet.

He pushed my mouth further down on his cock and answered.

I was a bit jealous, to be honest, and I kept trying to make him moan while he was talking to her as I deep throated his cock and intentionally made loud slurping sounds—breaking my promise to him I know—and I could tell she was asking him what that sound was. He brushed it off by saying he was picking something up.

The hottest part was when he told her “I love you” at the exact moment his cum was filling my mouth.

I know I should feel bad but for some reason I just feel turned on by it.

Mommy always knows what her son needs.

Because I truly believe no woman can love my son, can know my son, as intimately, as privately, as much, as I do. And as his mother, it’s my duty to teach him how to please women. But I know, I also know, that, in the end, I’m just a fool, that I’m risking a love that is never meant to be. Even as the flames of our passion burned bright and fierce, the broader society and the wider world will simply never accept us for who we are.

Despite of all the clamors in this world about acceptance, about love, about diversity and equality, I’m still an outlier, an outsider to the loving, tolerant society that I live in. This world can accept gays, transgender, fat people, and pink haired weirdos, I know, but they can never accept me, a sinful Asian woman.

Forbidden love’s sweet bait from fearful hooks.

All my sense of reason melted away, replaced by an intoxicating rush of desire, as I felt his warm embrace. I betray the trust of those who are close to me, the norm of this society. I broke the Biblical promise, the covenant of Nature, the rightful laws of God and the guidance of the Son of Man.

I want to become a slut for my son and entertain his friends as well.

My son and I just had some wonderful sex and we were relaxing naked in bed. I scrolled through my camera roll showing him some cute memories I had in the past. My heart dropped as I scrolled through the video cover photo of a very sexual video in my photos. It was a clip from a wild weekend where I was taking three white men with large cocks. He grabbed my hand preventing me from scrolling pass it, and said, very firmly, “What is that?”

He clicked the video so he could see for himself. I froze as the video began.

As he watched, his eyes flickered between my naked body and the video. For a moment, I could sense a flash of anger in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by something else. An intense, kinky, deviant desire. He watched the white men grunt as they pounded my pussy and asshole. Their hands were pulling my hair and twisting my nipples as they took turns using me for their pleasure.

All the while I was moaning and I writhed beneath them, sandwiched, happily accepting my place as an Asian whore for white cocks.

He breathed heavier as he watched, his cock growing steadily. He couldn’t help himself, I could sense, seeing me like that, being completely submissive to three white men who were not his dad. He began touching his cock as he watched me continue being fucked by the group of big white men.

He even saw the close-up of me having the cock down my throat. He also saw the close up of both my holes being pounded while my hands were twisted and held behind me. I was like a captive.

Without another word, he pushed me on my back once more.

My son fucking my ass:

Without any lubrication, he put his cock deep into my asshole as I whimpered in response.

He was so rough with me. While he fucked my tight ass he shoved his fingers down my throat and choked me while I drooled and moaned. While this was happening he made me tell him how much of a slut I am and how much I loved taking 3 big white men at once. I obeyed and told him the truth about how much i loved it and wanted it again.

After cumming in my ass he made me send him the video, which he said he was going to share with his friends, and then he told me that next time he might “bring some friends and make a better video”.

I couldn’t help but feel so lucky for this perfect outcome.

I am collared and owned. This is my daily life, my identity. Without my son I am nothing. He is my life, my soul, my everything.

I have had lots of different lovers, friends with benefits, husbands, boyfriends, one-night-stands, etc. At some point I had stopped counting but a rough estimate would put my body count to be around a few hundreds. At some point sex stopped having its meaning. It became a routine almost. “Work. Travel. Sex with strangers. Repeat.” When I was not working, I travelled the world. I have been to almost all the major cities in the world, and I have used the opportunity to have sex with lots and lots of different men: scientists, doctors, billionaires, engineers, college students, Ivy League professors, psychologists, pastors, dancers, actors, politicians, hedge fund portfolio managers, police officers, fire fighters, active duty military personnel, FBI agent. I’ve had sex with all of them.

If there is one author I highly recommend my readers to read, it would most definitely be Walter Benjamin. He wrote a short fragment called “Experience” and it was the most insightful philosophical treatise on a topic that I ever read. I copied and copied his writing again and again, and I could never get enough. In fact, I copied and copied the entire preface to his Trauerspiel no less than ten times and I read it over and over again, and I simply couldn’t get enough of it. And he has another fragmented piece where he talked about writing diary is equivalent to being silent to a prostitute. He is a very mystical writer, he’s like the Kafka of philosophy. If you liked reading Kafka when you were in college, you definitely will like Walter Benjamin.

Erloesung

So I have experienced sex, and yet it was without meaning. It became monotone, even though they were all very interesting men and they were all very well endowed. Something was lacking in my life. I needed passion. I needed danger. Cruelty. Bidding and forbidding. Intoxication. Adrenaline rush.

I want to stand on the precipice of ruin and make my way to the sacrificial altar of despair.

What shocked me, what utterly shocked me, was the soul mate I have been seeking for all my life has been living with me all my life—residing in the reckless, unpredictable and yet utterly captivating body of an 18 year old half white half Asian freak. It was my moment of erloesung.

I call my son a freak as a term of endearment, because he is so sadistic, so ruthless, and yet so effeminate. He is like a little Asian man trapped inside a white man’s body. He reminds me of my grand father, a pure bred Japanese man who used to torture Chinese women for sports during World War II. It’s almost an atavism of the old genetic stock. I love him so much.

I know I am playing a dangerous game. I am risking everything I hold dear. But the heart wants what the heart wants,, and I’m ensnared forever in this web of forbidden love.

Exposing our relationship in front of a friend for the first time.

I don’t have to tell you how much of a Freudian totem and taboo what I’ve been doing is considered by the wider “civilized” society, and one time I had almost exposed myself in front of a friend. She was a girlfriend of mine and we were on a trip together. We shared a one bedroom in an Airbnb. Because of the tight arrangement, we all slept in the same bed. We had been drinking and I was horny. Once my friend was asleep I reached my hand under the blanket to start jerking off my son. He gently played with my pussy and rubbed my clit. I started to let out a moan because of how amazing it felt and was quickly reminded me to stay quiet because my friend had just turned over.

After a little bit of time I stopped worrying, seeing that she was quite deep in sleep and I had a rush over the fact that our friend could wake up and accidentally catch us.

Then my son told me to get on my hands and knees and I did as I was told. With my bare pussy facing the friend that was asleep. This only increased my lust and my fear as my son started to finger me bringing me closer and closer to orgasm. The rush of knowing that our friend could wake up at any time and see my soaking wet pussy and my son fingering me only increased my desires.

An Asian mother and her half Asian son.

Confessing to my son that I enjoy being gang banged.

Being an 18 year old, he is obsessed with sex. He spends all day in his room and watches porn on the internet. He doesn’t have a girlfriend and I’m a bit concerned about him. He has on numerous occasions about some very sexual things to me, such as if I have ever had wet dreams, and what was the content of those wet dreams, what kind of sexual fantasies I’ve had, and what I enjoyed in the bedroom.

I was initially quite shy but each time after I talked to my son about those very intimated things they were very well received. I get turned on as well when I see him beaming with excitement and I feel it actually made us closer.

Being a single mother is hard, and being a single mother with a half Asian son who is coming of age, who is figuring out how to become a man, is even more difficult. I do everything I can do make my son happy. So when my son asked me about the kind of sexual fantasies or the content of my wet dreams, after the initial dithering, I decided to confess fully and completely.

My son brought me a pair of panties on Mother’s Day.

My husband left me a long time ago. My daughter who is turning 22 this year has a life of her own and does not live with me

My life is just me and my son, who is everything in my life and whom I love for all the world, which is something that I don’t expect you to understand if you are not a mother.

Being half white and half Asian, my son is very popular among Asian girls, being in touch with Asian culture and at the same time being white, and he has been bringing lots of Asian girls home and I’ve heard them having sex, and I’m honestly so proud of him and I don’t feel the least bit of jealousy. In fact, I’ve been introducing Asian girls to my son as well and this actually makes us feel a lot closer.

On Mother’s day my son told me he had a surprise for me and I eagerly waited for him to come home from his classes.

He gave me a box which I opened and I was a bit shocked because he brought me panties.

A black lace thong-panties with small, silver massaging pearls running up the crotch area, to be more exact.

I thanked him but I said “it’s a bit inappropriate for a son to buy for his mother” and to which he replied, “not to worry” and rather, “take it as something positive.” A phrase I did not fully understand in terms of its intention.

I smiled anyway and then he asked me to wear them for him.

I love my son and I’d do anything for him if it meant it will please him.

I wore them and went to his room to show him. Other than the panties, I only had a bra on. Nothing less. I was walking bare feet too.

The silky smooth fabric felt so cool and comfy against my skin and the pearls rubbed into my pussy like a lover’s soft touch.

He told me to turn around and he complimented on my curve. I bent over a bit and he said my pussy lips were fully visible. I got a bit scared and covered myself with my hands. He thanked me and told me not to worry because he liked it.

I get wet whenever I wear this panties and it’s my favorite panties.

I’m so attracted to my half Asian son.

Even though he is only 5 feet 7, he is just so handsome and good looking. He has a mixture of both Caucasian and Asian features. He is very skinny and weighed only 130 lb. His skin is lily white and his eyes were very Asian, and he is more feminine looking than a lot of the girls I know, but his cock is definitely Caucasian.

When he thought I was in bed asleep, when all the lights in the house were out, only the fluorescence from the computer screen in his room was visible, I only quietly peaked in. He had his cock out and he was stroking it, while looking at videos of Asian women being hogtied on his laptop. My knees got weak and I watched for at least 30 seconds before I crept back to my room. I fingered my pussy thinking about my son’s big white cock.

I often walked completely naked in front of my son after I took a shower so he could see everything as I walked back to my room. I don’t want there to be any mystery between us.

There is nothing sexual between us, to be sure. I was attracted to my son only in a puritanical way, like the owner of a cat or the camaraderie between two girlfriends. In some way, I see my son as my best girlfriend.

My son knows that I touch myself at night listening to him fucking other Asian girls.

He was actually very depressed immediately after graduating from high school. He scored 99 percentile on SAT, and had 10 AP’s, and yet he was wait-listed by all the Ivy League schools that he applied to: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and Brown. He was accepted to Berkeley but I didn’t want him to leave me and neither did he want to fly over to California. I told him mommy gets lonely after dad left us and wanted his company.

Returning his favor for staying at home with me by going to a local college (the tuition is cheap), I’ve been hooking up my half-Asian son with beautiful, young, fertile Asian women I met from Asian American Association and other Asian community service centers, and to be honest, nothing in the world feels better than listening to my son having sex with those gorgeous Asian women every night.

I’ve had countless orgasms hearing my son bringing those other demure Asian women to orgasm. Some are 18 year old Asian girls. Some are Asian women in their mid-20s to early 30s. Some have had illustrious careers while living in China, actresses, ballet dancers, beauty models. Some were married and divorced. Some were virgins. And yet despite of all their differences and coming from all walks of life, none of them could resist my son’s gorgeous white cock, which actually makes me feel so proud as his mom.

The most fun was when somehow me and the Asian woman my son was fucking cummed simultaneously. I would even daydream of joining them.

One night, I was pleasantly surprised when, at 1 AM, I heard the soft moans of an Asian woman again. Just a few hours ago she was fucked to loud, screaming orgasms and now her voice almost sounded like she was begging, a pitiful begging, pleading for mercy. Before fucking those Asian women, my son enjoyed humiliating them, by whipping them with belts, clamping their nipples and pussy lips, and making them kneel and prostrate before him.

That night, after awakened so rudely, I decided not to moan into my pillow anymore and I touched myself to the sound of my son fucking his Asian slut. I didn’t hold back. I moaned, quivered and cummed out of my mind.

The next morning, my son came up to me at the kitchen counter and said, “I just wanted you to know that we can hear you mom, … which tells me that you can hear us too. I have no plans of being quiet, neither should you.”

Blood was rushing to my face and my entire face, neck, and chest turned scarlet with shame. First shame, then lust. I could barely control myself as my fingers trembled and I resisted with all the power in my body from touching my self.

That night I saw my son go to the kitchen completely naked and his penis was dangling between his legs. He saw me watching him from my room and just smiled at me and went back to his room, leaving his bedroom door slightly open.

What amazed me is how he can act like nothing happened the next day while knowing full well that he’s making his mom cum like a common Asian whore just by thinking about his big white cock.

My son invites two random guys to fuck me while I was blindfolded.

Here Job is voicing the torment of soul caused by the onslaught of unconscious desires; the libido festers in his flesh, a cruel god has overpowered him and pierced him through with barbed thoughts that agonize his whole being.

— Carl Jung

Every Asian woman is Job when she encounters a white man. White man is her cruel god, who overpowers her, pierces her, and causes her both agony and pleasure beyond this world.

About a week after the “incident”, my son and I had more “little talks”, confiding our inner most secrets to one another. Knowing full well that his mother is a horny Asian slut, my son suggested that he arrange a kinky threesome experience for me, since this is something that my husband was never confident enough to do for me while I was married.

I was very nervous, but everything turned out to be even better than I had ever expected.

The idea was that my son would tie me up and blindfold me in the bedroom. Then he would go and let his friends (pure white and American of course) in and the two of them would use my tied up body like I was a little toy for them. The whole time I would be blindfolded so that the men would remain a total mystery to me and of course they had no way of knowing that I was the mother to my son. It sounded so exciting and I agreed.

My wrists were tied behind my back and ropes were looped around my breasts forcing them to look bigger, and my knees was brought up my chest and tied with zipties. I was completely exposing my pussy and ass.

Left in the quiet and dark for a few moments, the anticipation rose massively. I felt so helpless. All I could do was lay there and wait, unable to move away or see what was going on.

I heard foot steps shuffling and assumed my son had brought the two guys into my bed room but none of them spoke up. My heart was beating and I was desperate to shout out my son’s name, begging for release, then I heard my son’s voice and instantly I felt safe and secure.

He praised my body, telling the guys how at my age my nipples are still so perky and my pussy so tight, and of course he never failed to mention to them that I’m “an Asian slut for white cocks.”

“My mom is an Asian slut for white cocks.” He said and those words were seared in my mind.

Without eyes seeing, I imagined in my mind eye the sneer on their young, potentially freckled, faces. My son encouraged the guys to use me like a toy, but all I heard from the two mystery men were their grunts and moans as they grabbed at me and used me. I felt their masculine, hard bodies against me, their big steely cocks shoved to the back of my throat and pushed between my legs.

I came hard on those two men’s cocks, and felt them pumping cum inside me. I never saw their faces. They could have been anyone. Maybe they were already people I knew. Maybe one day I will meet them and have no idea who they are. Maybe we will never be able to recognize each other, and that felt so hot to me.

I sleep with the door to the house unlocked so people could come in anytime to fuck me.

The two mystery men would visit me unannounced in the middle of the night. My son had given a copy of the key to the house to one of the men so even if I had locked the door, they could have been able to come in with the spare key.

One night as I was in bed falling asleep I heard the front door open and it’s only natural that I was so scared and I was ready to scream. I didn’t hear any voice, only the foot steps and my anxiety was building up as every second passed.

I called out my son’s name and asked “Is that you?” and there was no response. I was too afraid to get out of bed and I was getting ready to call the police when the door—which had been ajar—was swung open and there were two men walking towards me.

Before I had time to react my hands were tied behind my back and a gag was shoved inside my mouth. Then the two men crawled into my bed like they owned it. I was terrified but also excited.

30 minutes later my pussy, ass and mouth were filled with cum and both of them were sweaty and breathing heavily.

I told them I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed, but we could cuddle for a while. They untied my hands and the three of us spooned. I fell asleep with both guys rubbing my nipples and clit and before I knew it they were both inside me again, one inside my pussy and another one inside my ass. I took another big load up each hole and finally fell sleep but against was fucked awake.

I love my son even more now.

My calling in life is to be an Asian whore for White Men.

In event of the immense psychological discourse we are about to embark upon, this pleromatic excursus that I had written over ten years ago is then not out of place as an introduction.

I put the Big White Cock in my mouth and close my eyes …

I am not worthy to see what a real man looks like.

Memories of my childhood come rushing back to me. Of how I’ve always looked at White Men and wished I could be around them. Of seeing the white boys among my classmates going through puberty, seeing them grow tall and muscular, seeing their chest hair underneath the collar of their shirts … seeing them grow from boys into men, White Men, seeing how big a White Cock really was the first time I got fucked. … Of realizing as an asian girl living in America, I was destined to be their whore.

I hold on to His shaft. It’s thick and I grasp it in my tiny hand. It reminds me of the broom handle at home that I use to sweep the floor with as my father watched Asian soap opera on the television in the living room.

I smell the scent of His musky pubes. His pheromones linger in my nostrils and I think of the sweaty white athletes in my high school. How they all smelled of grown men while they were just teenagers.

I taste his pre-cum as I slid my lips further down his hard cock. It was thick and I can taste the bittersweet flavor. It reminds me of the bland congee my mother made for me growing up.

He calls me “chink”. And I’m reminded of all the white men I’ve met in my life. My teachers, my professors, my superiors at work, my supervisor, my thesis advisor, my boyfriends, my hook ups … all the White Men that have revealed to me my own inferiority as an asian woman.

Finally … I open my eyes. I look up to Him. My Master, my King, my God, my reason for existence. I see every inch of his thick cock extending from my lips all the way to his blonde bush. I raise my eyes, past his treasure trail and hairy chest, up to his thick neck and rough beard, and finally meet his blue eyes.

I lose myself in those deep blue eyes. Like an ocean threatening to drown me in my powerless position. Twin tidal waves making me gag and lose my breath. I am a chink lost at sea, and the White Man is my life-saver and my weight, lifting me up with his powerful hip and pulling me further down with his muscular hands, marking me with his urine over his property, handing my life over to Him as an asian bitch for White Men.

As I read through this little treatise, those words linger through my brain as they do trippingly on my tongue, I wonder to myself it’s amazing, it’s amazing that, despite of years of forgetting, running away, and relinquishing, I was never able to actually escape. In the end I come back full circle to surrender my fate, to prostrate and kneel before my white superiors and accept now, calmly, obediently, and silently, their reign.

Those thoughts, though they had briefly disappeared from the conscious level, continued to rankle beneath the surface, and in the course of time spun an elaborate web of resentments and vengeful syncretism of hidden motives which then burst upon my consciousness in the form of sexual exegesis.

Coincidentia oppositorum

If you had seen me in real life you would have no idea. In fact most people have no idea. They would have all assumed that I’m just another racist Asian woman who only dated Asian men. The white men who were interested once again would sigh and lament, “all the hottest Asian girls only date Asian guys.”

I look so normal. It’s what the wider society expects of me, and it’s what I conform to, in appearance.

The truth, however, is the exact opposite.

The superficial me is diametrically opposite to the real me that I have to restrain the impulse to give you my real name so I could google me and see what a chaste, pure, innocent and primp Asian lady that I really am. Or not.

Statu nascendi

By the time I was 18, I had already started sleeping around impulsively. I still remember the first time I sucked cock. He was a chubby white guy who later on went to Cornell for his Ph.D. I still remember the second time I sucked cock. It was on a Friday evening in a club full of young hot white guys. The rest is blurry now. The Asian guys who knew me from high school had by now all but disappeared. I was done with them. I had entered into the white club, the Ivy League of Ivy Leagues. I knew even back then, that for the next 10 to 20 years, the zenith of life lies within.

By the time I was 19 I decided that I should get paid for what I was doing. I believe I have written about my experience during this period already, but it’s never enough. I keep on reminiscing. I keep on remembering more details. Sometimes the details contradict what I had previously remembered. It’s like the four gospels in the New Testament. While every one of my account is all veritably true to my heart, somehow the details all keep on changing. I don’t know why.

All of a sudden now my thoughts were interrupted again. The image of a nerdy Asian guy from high school flitted into my memory. I remembered walking side by side with him as we went from the subway to school. And as we approached the flag pole in front of the school yard, we walked slower and slower, bumping into each other more, unmoored and dizzy in the crepuscular light. The Asian guy was ugly, short, and stupid. The mere image of him made me gag a little just now.

Counting from the age of 19 to now, I’ve had sex with over hundreds of men, all white men, obviously. I have fulfilled the sexual fantasies of so many white men that I’m actually proud. And I’ve done just about every depraved act in the dictionary: oral, anal, ass to mouth, foot jobs, rim job, blow job, piss play, choking, gangbang, etc.

By the age of 21 I decided that I would have sex almost exclusively with men over the age of 40. The oldest guy I had sex with and who was also my first husband was over 80 years old. I loved the difference between our age. It’s a bit like chiaroscuro. The contrast between us—young and old, white and yellow, smooth and wrinkled—felt exciting.

Were we humans to be robbed of this instinct of procreation and all that arises from it, nearly all poetry, all philosophy, and perhaps all science, would be erased from this world.

I’ve been told by a few men that I may be “sex addicted”. To them, they think it’s unnatural that a woman should be so hypersexual, especially given my high body counts and my numerous unsuccessful marriages. But I think I’m just addicted to life.

Summum bonum … losing my self in this rhapsodic dream of life

For all my life I’ve been addicted to white men and their beautiful BWCs. I love tasting BWCs in my mouth, inserting BWCs in my pussy, feeling BWCs in my ass, and playing with BWCs in all their multitudinous ways.

I love being gangbanged by BWCs, feeling their different sizes, different smells, different energies, and different personalities. Each white man is all so unique, so individualistic, and yet all so all so fascinating and so delicious.

But above all my own pleasure, I love the feeling that I’m giving pleasure to those white men.

My Asian body is a vessel, and my purpose is to be filled with BWCs and their cum.

But summum bonum, my yellow body is god’s gift to white men. It’d be very selfish of me to keep this gift to myself.

That is why I especially love gangbangs. I never turn down any white man who wants to fuck me unless he is rude, unclean or problematic in some way. When it comes to white men, my pussy has nearly perfect admission rate.

And when I’m not being gangbanged, I practice being airtight by using my dildos. I love stuffing all my holes with various things and pretend I’m being gangbanged.

Personally, I believe all Asian women are made for gangbangs by BWCs. Some are just living in denial.

I used to keep those views to myself, because I always felt this society is not yet open enough to accept them. But I feel more and more Asian women and white men are now embracing my idea. And I’m glad.

My ultimate goal is to encourage more Asian girls to go white only, spreading the joy and pleasure of being bleached. And this dream is actually bearing fruits, as more and more Asian girls are falling head over heels for white guys. It makes my heart feel warm, and I’m glad, because white men are pleased.

I feel so empty without white cocks.

Being a BWC slut is who I am now, or what is left of me. A broken, empty set of holes always burning with hunger for white men and their penises. 

The haunting void left behind by white men gets worse now. 

Some nights it engulfs me and tries to swallow me whole. Confessing my pain, my sinful lust for abuse and my concupiscence for degradation is the only way I can feel anything at all. It makes my mind go blank and allows me to drift into a serene, nameless happy bliss of ease. Some other times it makes me feel weightless, like a slowly ebbing and flowing stream rhythmically receding from the bank. 

It also makes me feel so naked. And so shameful. As if a thousand eyes were on me as they probe and prod into my life, digging and gnawing for more sordid details of my descent into depravity. Thrusting into me, yearning to do even more depraved things as they stretcher deeper and deeper into my flesh, my soul, more than what I’m permitting them. 

I don’t like this. I don’t want to be this broken, marked as if by monsters. I hear their words. Memories of their actions course through me. I will never be able to get away. 

I wish I was once again an Asian virgin, the virginal Asian girl who never knew the meaning of BWC, bareback gangbang, SM, double penetration, spitroasting, cum swallowing, piss drinking, etc. I feel disgusted with myself just now, knowing that all my holes have been filled to the brim with white meb’s cum.

I miss the innocent me. I miss the 18 year old me. 

I feel so estranged and unacquainted with who I am now. I miss feeling pure again. This doesn’t feel good. 

But it’s still better than nothing at all.

More Asian women are having sex with white men than with Asian men, study concludes.

In a study on interracial relationships, researchers David R. Harris and Hiromi Ono found statistical evidence for what most already knows intuitively, that Asian women (primarily of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean descent) are having sex with white men more than with Asian men, in America.

According to the study, at least 45% of sexually active Asian women cohabit with white men, and less than 43% with Asian men, as of the year 2000.

Given that white-male-Asian-female relationship is the most popular and fastest growing interracial coupling in the world and that the study was conducted over 20 years ago, the number of Asian women who cohabit with white men in the current year is very likely to be much higher.

Further evidence that the 45% figure significantly under-estimates the real number comes from the fact that most Asian women who cohabit with Asian guys are likely to be recent immigrants. Due to language barriers, not all Asian women who prefer white men will be able to date white men. Research on dating preferences overwhelmingly supports the claim that a vast majority of Asian women prefer white men.

If the sampling in the study had included only Asian women born in the U.S., the number will be much higher. Other reports show 80 percent of America-born Asian female figure-skaters marry white men, and nearly 100 percent of America-born Asian female politicians marry white men.

Anecdotal evidence, though not scientific, abound in the real world. It’s hard, if nearly impossible, not to encounter white-male-Asian-female couples everywhere one goes. And in some cities, such as New York City, Los Angeles, or Chicago, the number of white-male-Asian-female couples one observes on a daily basis is significantly higher than Asian-male-Asian-female couples.

Over the past 20 years, stigma attached to interracial relationships had been permanently cast into the dustbin of history. East Asian countries, which once embraced some form of pure race ideology, have all but forsaken its shameful past. Many local governments now actively encourage such pairings, through commercials, movies, and television programs. Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Hong Kong, and even China, which is nominally still a Communist country, fully embrace the sexual union between white men of European descent and its local women so much so that it has now been ingrained as part of the pan-Asian culture.

Asian Cravings

Would you like to tie me up and use my tight Asian pussy to satisfy your thick white cock, sir? I know it’s too big and I know it’s gonna hurt but it’s okay.

You know that I’ve been craving your big white cock for a long time. I think about it whenever I close my eyes. I want to feel your big white cock stretching my tiny Asian pussy until I break, until I can’t take it anymore, until I’m crying from both ends.

You know there is nothing that makes an Asian whore like me wetter than thinking about how you will put my legs over your arms and fuck me against the wall. I go crazy just thinking about it.

I get so horny knowing I’m just another cheap Asian whore being put in her place, on her knees, collared and leashed and pumped full of my white master’s cum.

Do you want to beg and plea for it, white master?

I bet you’ve fucked enough Asian girls to know, that I can’t help myself. The second a white man approaches me, the image of his big white cock enters my mind and I start to get wet. My brain goes blank and all I can think about is his cock inside me. Thrusting deep in my tight little Asian cunt.

I cried like a little virgin the first time I got split open by a real man’s cock (that is, not a tiny Asian dick) and came over and over. Now, I can never go back.

It’s only natural. Asians were born to be slaves for white cocks.

It’s only natural. Asian cunts crave the attention of white men.

It’s only natural, as you pin me down and drill my wet asian pussy until I’m a screaming mess, impaled on your big white cock as I beg for more, slapped, beaten, degraded, humiliated, my asian hole burning with lust and shame, as you ram your cock back inside me; until you have forced more orgasm out of me than I had previously thought possible; until I’m completely vanquished and conquered, laying prostrate, at your mercy, turned into your obedient asian slave.

Asian Women’s Shameful Lust for White Cocks (a documentary)

Given the ubiquity of Asian women engaged in sexual liasions with white men, whether it be exhibited on the internet (every Asian female amateur has a white boyfriend or a white dom) or encountered in real life (I lost count the number of Asian female white male pairings that I see everyday on nearly every bustling street corner; sometimes, I see more white-Asian couples than Asian-Asian couples on a day-to-day basis), it’s surprising that many people are still living in denial.

In addition to the vastly known statistic that nearly one in every two Asian women living in North America will end up marrying non-Asian men (the ratio is similar in European Union, England, and Australia), about 80% of Asian women in the United States (between the age of 18 to 35 and are sexually active) have had white sexual partners, and approximately 60% of young Asian girls growing up in America will have white boys as their first sexual encounters with the opposite sex and it is not unreasonable nor unusual to assume that, after losing their virginity to white boys, those Asian girls will only be able to find white men as attractive and compatible sexual partners in the future and will thus be exclusively dating white men from then on.

Critics who live in denial (stereotypically angry Asian boys or misguided white feminists?) often cite that “many white girls prefer black guys.” But statistically speaking, only 7% of white women marry black men. The level of interracial coupling of white female and black male is vastly lower than that of Asian female and white male.

Take as another perspective from the porn industry. Every single Asian female porn actress WILL and MUST perform sexual acts with white male porn actors, and sometimes also black male porn actors, but not every white female porn actress will nor must perform sexual acts with black male porn actors. In fact, no Asian female porn actress in north America has ever performed sexual acts with straight Asian male porn actors, and some would go out of their way to state that “I don’t fuck Asian guys,” e.g. Annabel Chong, Alina Li, and Evelyn Lin, many others. [see ref.1]

In fact, not only are straight Asian male porn actors non-existent in the porn industry, every single Asian male who appears in porn is either a submissive gay bottom or a transgender ladyboy, and the said performer similarly engages in submissive sexual acts with dominant white male actors or black male actors. This is actually even more true in amateur porn, which topic will be touched on further. As an addendum to the argument, if, for instance, if a single non-gay Asian male porn actor appears in the porn industry and is seen with a white female, it immediately becomes world news and is shared on social media across the globe. The fact that it is news-worthy by itself speaks volumes.

But this wide spread phenomenon of Asian female and white male is actually even more revealing in the amateur porn industry. Almost all amateur Asian females who feature themselves on various social media platforms (such as reddit’s various “gonewild” subreddits) are exclusively sexually active with white sexual partners, who are often their boyfriends or husbands, or “fuckbuddies”; however for politically correct reasons, as well as being part of a smart marketing strategy, most of those Asian amateurs would deny that they have sexual preferences for white men, since they know that their audience come from all backgrounds, and this includes many politically correct white men who do not enjoy “letting the cat of the bed”, so to speak.

And not only that, but in the few instances in which the Asian amateur porn does involves non-gay Asian men, almost always, the said female performers turn out to be located within Asia, which means they have less opportunity to be exposed to white men than Asian performers located elsewhere, say in white-majority countries.

Which brings the topic out of North America and into East Asia: it’s actually even easier, much easier, for white men to pick up local Asian women in Asia. It is very common for a white man to have multiple local girlfriends in an Asian country, as documented in many instances. [ref. 2] Take China for example. An average white man living in China for three years can have anywhere from 5 or 6 to dozens of Chinese girlfriends, whereas the average Chinese man usually has zero to one girlfriend before marriage. According to CCP’s own account, over one million Chinese women marry non-Chinese men and go live abroad EACH year. The number is similar in Japan. Statistics Bureau of Japan recently published a study that states over 50% of Japanese men below the age of 50 are virgins, raising concerns about Japanese fertility and population trend. The same publication cites a finding that nearly 80% of Japanese women want to live overseas and the top destination for immigration includes Europe, America, Canada, and Australia, all white-majority countries.

“Every night I used my belt on her ass until she was in tears, then I would fuck her like an animal until she was screaming and begging me to cum in her.”

To given a more vivid and personal example of Asian women’s desperate lust for WHITE COCK, Wei Hui, the famed Chinese female writer and author of the semi-autobiographical novel Shanghai Baby, states that the German businessman with whom she was in a SM relationship has had sex with more than dozens of Chinese girls while living in China.

Neither is Ms. Wei Hui the first Asian woman to pen in vividly graphic and ostensibly salacious detail of her sexual escapades with white men, nor the last to do so. Beginning with Amy Tan, generations of Asian women have written of their romantic and often lewd sexual encounters with white men. In her book, ‘How To Attract Asian Women’, by Ming Tan, a Chinese woman, she boasts about successfully bringing together over one thousand Asian women with White men, and puts the icing on the cake by adding salacious tales of lewd sexual encounters between seemingly virtuous Chinese virgins being deflowered and corrupted by their western lovers. [ref. 3] Ming Tan also writes that many of those Asian women actively refuse to date Asian men. [ref.4]

And all those come within the realm of politically correct mainstream culture! Not to mention all other books, movies, TV shows that showcase the submissive and hypsersexual—whorish—nature of Asian women which always go hand in hand with the dominance and assertiveness of white men. The internet, on the other hand, abounds with blogs, sex blogs, profiles, channels, videos, and pictures of Asian women in multitudinous states of submission to white men, and in which subordinate roles those Asian women eagerly and shamefully play and relish. Not only do those Asian women fully embrace their love for white cocks, proudly proclaim their natural subjugate state in relation to white men, and eagerly whore themselves out to be slaves to white men, in the process they also often belittle Asian men and partake in the emasculation of Asian men.

—Yu-Ting (Lisa) Hsu-Stoldholdt,

Ph.D. University of Pennsylvania

Exhibition 1:

I’m white, 50, twice divorced, and my current wife is Chinese, 31, and a single mother.

Before marrying me, she was a very chaste and traditional Chinese woman. Through my rigorous training in the last two years, she has been thoroughly transformed to be an extremely masochistic slut.

She is born to be submissive and will be willing to do anything to get orgasm when having sex.

The only exception is that she cannot bear much pain, for example, from being whipped or slapped too hard, which I am still training her to receive. She likes to be degraded, humiliated and abused very much, as it turns her on. She loves the idea that she is a cheap Chinese whore who was born to serve white men.

At home, before fucking her hard, I ask her to kneel down and kowtow to me.

I also share her for some other expat men from America, England, and Germany and she likes that very much. My fantasy (and I am planning to do that in real life) is making her work as a whore, in secret of course.

I would tell the customers that she can serve them in any way they want in return, like licking their asshole, drinking their pee, crawling under their feet, etc., for just a little of money. Another fantasy of mine is selling her to another master to be his sex slave in a couple of hours per day.

Exhibition 2:

“By the second week I arrived in China, I was already dating this petite Chinese woman who was very submissive. Every night I used my belt on her ass until she was in tears. Then I fucked her like an animal until she was screaming and begging me to cum in her. Afterward, she would get on her knees and noisily lick and suck her juice off my cock, with my cum still leaking out of her cunt. She simply couldn’t get enough of me. We would have sex all over her home. In her bedroom, on the kitchen table. On the balcony. She told me she had done things with me that she would never do with a Chinese man. She was my obedient sex slave. I did not allow her to wear clothes in her home, not even in front of other people.”

Meditations on the Power of White Cock

To all the asian girls who have never been fucked by WHITE MEN …

It is like a feeling unlike any other.

The size and power of White Cock is terrifying. The way it takes control of every fiber of your being.

The way it fills you up that you feel nauseous.

And the pain.

The pain is intense, you feel it down to the tips of your nerves.

But it all feels great. It feels completely right to submit to a White Man, to be used and fucked like a cheap asian whore, to be treated like you’re nothing.

It is the feeling experienced by all asian women who are fortunate enough to be fucked by White Men.

The feeling of completeness. Of wholeness. Of finally knowing your purpose in life.

It is the feeling that you will never achieve anything greater in life than this.

So go ahead and try it. Submit to that nagging feeling you’ve always had.

To that voice at the back of your head.

To those sudden surges of lust you feel whenever you see a White Man.

To those fantasies of wanting more whenever you’re fucked by your small asian boyfriend.

To the throbbing of your cunt whenever you see a Big White Cock.

It’s your destiny.