About me:

Contrary to what you might think about me, I’m actually not a dumb girl. I was an excellent student in school. I was a high performer at work. I chose to become a full time housewife after I became pregnant because I wanted to be a traditional wife and a mother and I decided to devote all my time to raising my children.

I married early and had three children, one daughter and two sons. All of them are super smart and currently attending the best colleges in America. My youngest son is the only one who still live with me.

On the outside, I’m just another ordinary, middle-class Japanese-American single mother with beautiful, smart wasian children. And despite of my age, at 39, I still look very young and attractive. I dabbled in high-end escort and soft core pornography when I was in my 20s.

On the inside, however, I have always been a needy slut, and this neediness intensified after my divorce.

I love being used by white men and I love being treated like a brainless toy by white men. I love when white men are rough and when they make me serve them like I’m an inferior slut. And I love having sex with lots and lots of different white men.

How it all began with my son:

It’s a very long story and it’s very complicated but if I must pinpoint to an event that initiated all this mess, I guess I’d say it was when I found out that my son’s favorite masturbation material was … well … me.

When my son and I decided to swap cell phones because he wanted to have the newest version of iphone and without thinking too much about it, we just swapped sim cards and I got his phone and he got mine. Well, despite of all the stereotype of Asians being tiger moms, I’d say that I’m fairly atypical. I’m a cool mom. I was never a strict mom. I encourage my son to be open about sex. I don’t hide my body before my son and I always walk naked around the house and I don’t stop my son when he wants to feel me up.

That said, however, I was surprised when I noticed that my NSFW photos on my icloud drive was being opened and modified. Some pictures went to different folders and then some pictures disappeared and re-appeared. Initially I didn’t think too much about it. I wasn’t always very tech-savvy and I thought those were just internet glitches, but then, one day, I saw a photo of someone’s dick next to a nude photo of myself popping up on my icloud and that was when I panicked. I realized what had happened. My son must have had access to my icloud. But then, I was also excited. I was excited at the fact that my son was masturbating to nude photos of me.

I felt proud actually, proud of the fact that my son was sexually aroused by his mother!

I pretended not to notice and I didn’t say anything to my son about it. But ever since then, I did notice that my son started to spend more time when I was in the shower. He would always barge in while I was naked, try to strike up a conversation with me, and then use every opportunity to harass me, slapping my butt, pinching my nipples, touching my breasts, caressing my legs, etc.

The thought that my son was interested in me sexually turned me on immensely and I started to upload even more photos myself to the icloud so my son can look to his heart’s content. “Boys will always be boys,” I figured. “He probably watches porn all day every day and it’s probably healthier for him as a young man to put his hands on a real, live female, instead of being swindled by some devious female online.”

How it escalated:

During this period, I was also dating. I was already divorced at the time and I still had my sexual needs. I was still a very young, fertile, and available female, and I’ve invited a lot of those men over to my house for sex. Like many other Japanese women, I’m always very vocal during sex, and what I didn’t realized was that my son would record my sex sessions. I found out that he had recordings of my sex sessions when I happened to catch him in the act of jerking off to them. I was not angry but I did feel it was creepy but, as his mother, I was also sympathetic. I would never have admitted it but it was a turn on for me knowing that my son loved to cum to me.

When I confronted him about it, he told me that he have been wanting to see me getting fucked for a while now and even said that sometimes he wished I’d have sex with him instead of those guys that I dated.

I was very confused and humiliated and ashamed by all this and to be honest I didn’t know how to think about all this. There was a part of me that was disgusted by all all this but I couldn’t deny that there was a part of me that wanted to give him what he wanted.

I started having forbidden fantasies about my son.

Because of what had been happening between me and my son I stopped dating other men, but I still had my needs and so I spent more time at home masturbating. And often times, I left the bedroom door cracked open while I was on my knees, naked, and fucking myself with a dildo. I knew my son would be watching me and I often imagined my son’s cum splashing across my face and shooting into my open mouth as I squeezed my legs together and gasped.

I knew something was wrong with me. It was unnatural to have these kinds of feelings for my own son, and I tried to make it go away. But the more I tried to make it go away, the more forbidden those thoughts were, the more delirious were the corresponding desires.

Knowing that my son was watching and enjoying everything made me even more emboldened. I would intentionally let my son catch me masturbating. One time, I was completely naked, on my hands and knees, with my ass pointing at my son and two fingers buried inside my pussy. It didn’t bother me that my nipples swelled and my pussy got wet from letting my son looking at me. I felt it was my body reacting naturally to a male’s admiring gaze. Still, I did find myself masturbating more often. I needed some way to relieve the sexual energy.

TO BE CONTINUED …