I’m a 24 year old Asian woman living and working in New York and throughout my life I have felt like I’m missing out on something in life and I just can’t describe what it is. I’ve encountered many Asian women who were sluts for white guys, all the way back from my college days, then at my work, and I have so many Asian female friends who are married to white guys. At work, I’m a fierce advocate for equal rights for women; I advocate for respecting women and treating women fairly, but the problem is, I know all of this is a lie. It’s a charade.

Because I work in court and in my professional job, I deal with a lot of Chinese female victims of sexual abuse and sex trafficking. I hear so many stories about Asian women being used as prostitutes and sex slaves, stories about those Chinese women being humiliated, degraded, and sometimes even tortured and raped, and for a very long time, I feigned outrage but in fact I was incredibly turned on by what I heard. 

The most fucked up part is while most of the sex traffickers are Chinese, the customers are almost always white men in rich western countries. 

One time after I finished on a meeting where I’ve heard about a Chinese woman being sex-trafficked and forced to work in a massage parlor and after she was caught by ICE, she was detained, shipped to a secret prison where she committed suicide, well, after I heard this case I had to close my office door and edge myself until I was cumming and crying at the same time. I don’t know what is wrong with me and I feel so much shame and guilt about my behavior, especially at the fact that I was being turned on. And knowing that her boyfriend while in the States were a white man was the icing on the cake. 

I know in my heart what happened to her was wrong but I just couldn’t help getting incredibly turned on and horny.  We Asian women are completely helpless and powerless and our destiny is to be abused and toyed with and eventually saved by superior white men. 

The fact that more often than not, white men are both our abusers, as well as our saviors, is so incredibly hot to me. It’s the idea that white men have the total power and domination over us Asian women that turns me on so much, I think.

I’m currently single.

The above post is a guest contribution. Opinion expressed and views held are solely the submitter’s and may not be reflective of the Inferior Asian Editor Team.