White female-asian male coupling: the ugly truth about asian men who fetishize white women

A few weeks ago at a very prestigious meeting one of our acquaintances, all of whom were ivy league graduates, came to our table and introduced his “financee” to us.  It was the third time that I have seen an asian man dating a white woman this year and I feel I need to explain something. First of all, the asian men in those instances were all very successful individuals, I’m talking about stock brokers who pull in at least 6 figure a year.  My experience might have had a sample’s bias because all of them worked in finance, but more likely than not, those asian men who can successfully date white women are in all likely cases exceptions, not the general rules.

Second, asian men who date white women are all extremely white washed; the only thing that’s asian about them is their last names, nothing else.  They are pretty much white men trapped in asian men’s bodies and there is a reason for that—a relationship is not something that just happens; it requires deep, intimate knowledge about another’s culture, background, and the ability to effectively communicate any cultural nuance to another person with precise diction, and given how difficult it already is to manage any relationship even within one’s own cultural group, most cross cultural relationships do not work in the end because two partners cannot effectively communicate with each other, so those asian men who date white women and can successfully make it to marriages are almost always so completely immersed in white culture that, from my experience, they have just about zero cultural knowledge remotely related to Asia, and none of them can speak an asian language fluently.  The Japanese guy who came to our table with his white girlfriend spoke Japanese with such a horrible accent that if I were on the phone with him, I would have surmised that he was a white guy who just learned Japanese.  Now, compare this situation to that of an asian woman who is dating a white man.  In most cases, the asian woman is at least partially knowledgeable about asian culture and those asian women are more likely to disseminate asian value to the white men through nuanced psychology, but this does not happen at all in a white female-asian male relationship.  And another thing that makes asian female-white male relationships more stable compared to other relationships is that the sexual power relationship fits into the stable forms in which the asian women are less powerful than, therefore subservient to, the white men, whereas in the white female-asian male situation not only is it completely reversed but so messed up that it will never work in the end.  (See last paragraph for statistics.)

Furthermore, those asian men who date white women are so insecure about themselves that seeing them walking down the street is likely looking at two criminals stealing away.  They know deep down inside that society does not condone them, looks down on them as freaks of nature, disgusting human garbage who should have been shot.  And they constantly look over their shoulders because they know, if they were in some other parts of America, outside of New York and California, a bunch of white men would have lynched that little asian man.  On the other hand, white men who date asian women are so common that it has long been accepted by society as normal and natural and there is no social stigma attached to asian women who date white men.  I have never met a white man who thinks that interracial marriages between asian women and white men are bad.  On the other hand, I know quite a few white men who seethe with anger when they see a white woman walking down the street with a black man or, worse, an asian man.  And I actually feel sad for those white women because they do not know that in actuality those asian men are not dating them out of love.

This is what I call “white fetish” among asian men; those asian men who have white fetish would only date white women and they are disgusted by asian women, and even in their relationships, they see themselves as revenging against asian women, so in essence, those asian men who date white women are fake white men inverted: they are fake white men trapped in asian men’s bodies with a raging “white fetish” for white women.  And how does one go about detecting such a “white fetish”?  Simply by talking to them, and you’ll immediately notice it: they would not stop talking about how “hot” white women are, how much “better” white women are, and how much asian women “suck”, and they are even physically repulsed by asian women. Because the very truth is that asian men who date white women are basing their relationships on hatred, resentment, and, sadly, racism and sexism. To those asian men, white women are not humans, but mere sex objects, symbols of power and white privilege; having sex with a white woman is an asian man’s revenge against asian women.  But none of this actually matters that much, because asian men and white women simply will never work out, given how asian men treat women and how white women treat men in general, which basically creates the perfect storm for a complete psychotic breakdown for both parties in involved.  In fact, last of all, but not least of all, the divorce rate among asian male-white female marriages is staggering 80%, whereas asian female-white male marriages only have a 54% divorce rate, which is about the national average in America.

Author: inferiorasian

I have been a very confused—some might say very conflicted—girl ever since I can remember and I have always lived in a fantasy world of my own making. I was born in Japan, my mother is Chinese and my father is Japanese, and my father's mother or my grandmother was German Dutch, and I came to the United States as a teenager and lived and went to school in Maryland, and worked in New York. I lived in fantasy worlds since I was a teenager and I have always done so, sometimes so deep in my own fantasy I forgot my own identity. I no longer knew who I am. Physically I look more European than asian. My father is of mixed heritage—he has white blond hair, but he also has some distinctly Japanese features. On the other hand my features mostly resembled my grandmother, who was a full blooded European woman. Which was not something that really bothered me. Actually most modern Japanese look very European compared to the rest of asians. My father was a sadist, and my mother, on the other hand, was, in my opinion, a masochist with no self respect. Growing up, seeing my father beating my mother was almost as frequent as having dinner, and when not beating her, she was constantly being humiliated and degraded, like having to serve dinner to him naked on her knees or being tied to an utility pole only in her panties during the winter. At first I believed my mother was a victim, a unfortunate human being in the hands of a cruel evil man, but as I grew older I realized that it was my mother who enjoyed being treated this way. The initial realization made me feel she was a disgusting, perverted, sick person, but as I grew older I began to have the almost identical sexual fantasies that my mother lived and experienced through. I began to think that my mother was the luckiest woman on earth since apparently she had found a man who understood her desires and could give them to her. My dad studied and worked in America before, and during that period he desperately wanted to marry a white woman, and vehemently pursued several white women, but was unsuccessful. At the same time Japanese women were unwilling to marry him. Maybe because just like him they were looking to marry into the white race, or maybe because he had sadistic tendencies. Out of options he settled to look for a Chinese woman. Statistically, marriages between Chinese women and Japanese men have been quite common, and I personally knew quite a few couples just like my mother and father. Even here in America I knew several Chinese women who had Japanese boyfriends and those women were actually quite proud of having superior Japanese men as boyfriends. Japanese in general look much more European compared to other asians and I suspect it was the putative European appearance that attracts other asian women. Of course Japanese are not Europeans, no matter how much we try to become European, just as Jews will never be fully accepted as White Christians. I think Jews and Japanese have a lot in common. We were both persecuted by Europeans, the Jews by Germans, and Japanese by Americans, yet we both come to love our white Masters. Jews weren't officially considered white until very recently, and I think as time progresses eventually Japanese will be categorized as white in the future, though Jews and Japanese will always know that they are still inferior to their Nordic Masters. But as always the Jews will be Masters over the Arabs and the Japanese will be Masters over the rest of Asia. There is no other meaning to life, other than the degree of domination. I had an older sister who looked fully asian, as opposed to me who looked much more European. And ever since childhood I have always known for a fact that I was treated better by everyone else because of my distinctly European appearance. In school classmates would be hesitant to tease me because they always thought my father might be an American or an European man even though they knew my mother was Chinese but somehow they still were afraid of me solely because of my European appearance. The thing was that in Japanese naming system, my mother's last name automatically gets attached to mine, so for example, my name in Japanese would actually be "Suzuki Liu Jennifer", because my mother's maiden name is Liu; this way everyone would instantly know my mother is Chinese. On the other hand my sister was bullied almost everyday by upper classmates because she looked very Chinese. They made fun of her hair and clothes and told her that she looked like a Chinese pig and I had seen boys pulling down her pants and laughing at her for having a "Chinese vagina". I was a very young girl back then and I felt ashamed of having her as a sister so in school I didn't talk to her at all. When I was 12 years old, she committed suicide by hanging herself in her closet. I know this because I was the one who discovered her body. My parents would have never told me about her death if I did not saw her dead body by myself. And ever since her death a dark cloud formed over my head and throughout my teenager years I was constantly harrowed by thoughts of suicide. It was not until I was much older that I learned suicide is infectious and that had been why I was constantly thinking about suicide. The realization made me try not to think too much about death, but no matter how much I try I can never get her image out of my head. Sometimes I feel she still haunts me because I didn't talk to her in school. My parents divorced when I was 14 and I went to live with my mom in China for two years. Contrary to popular beliefs, I had never experienced any form of racism or discrimination against me when I was living in China. Most people assumed that I was an European girl and the aura of being European seemed to make me inapproachable, like the shield of Athena covering me from head to toe. Even when I was in school, when classmates would know my father was Japanese because of my last name, I had never really felt any discrimination, though I did feel they were kind of afraid of me. I had never realized how much being White meant until I was in America: the symbol of power, domination, and superiority that being White implies. Being White is being the entelechy of all that is beautiful, good and righteous. Which is strange because my nationality still is, in actuality, Japanese and as I grew older I started to look more asian. My hair has gotten completely dark and my looks started to resemble my mother's. I used to have very light-colored hair, but I just felt fortunate that I do not look fully asian like my sister was. When I saw this image [of a naked asian woman kneeling next to a black furred dog] in a Japanese SM magazine a few days ago, all of a sudden I remembered seeing my mother in a similar position when I was maybe just 5 or 6 years old. It was not a pleasant experience; it was an extremely scary and traumatic experience, and growing up I heard constant moaning and muffled screams coming from my parents' bedroom. Every evening was a nightmare to fall asleep. But knowing that many asian women were treated the same way as my mother had been treated somehow made me feel better about my own family. At least my parents were not as weird as they seemed, and while growing up I had gradually come to realize that many asian girls have the same masochistic tendencies as I do, but many were just very shy and wouldn't admit their secrets. So it seems there are many masochistic asian women out there who thrives on been humiliated and degraded just like the girl in this image; I don't know why but this image made me feel kind of normal. I have lived in the States for nearly ten years now and I have not talked to my parents, who had divorced, for several years, especially to my mother whom I had some very severe arguments with over the years, especially when she remarried after she went back to China. I was more fond of my father though I haven't really talked to him that much either because he too had remarried. Despite all the mean things I had said about my dad, he was always very gentle with me and never beat me. He beat my sister and my mother but never me and I suspect he was much more gentle with me because of my more European looks. I felt their divorce was a punishment for me, as if they had abandoned me and I never felt comfortable with either of them or their new spouses, whether it be in China or in Japan. My mother's new husband was a very cruel and domineering white man living in China and he never treated me with the same special treatment I received from my dad. And I remember one time when I went out with him people on the street mistook me for his wife and I felt so disgusted I never wanted to go out with him again and then he would yell at me and yell at my mom. I am glad to have gotten out of there. And my dad ... well let's just say I couldn't bear to coexist with his new wife either. The last time we talked was already 3 years ago. This image had brought back so many long forgotten yearnings. I miss my sister and my parents. The memory of my sister and my parents started to fade away, like wavering forms they passed before my clouded sight; their images have become a blur rise about me out of mist and cloud; their faces, and their figures have become shades of phantoms; I wanted to hold you close to me in that blessed fleeting moment when you reappeared to me in my dreams. If only I possessed the strength to draw you near. I wanted to forever remember you—you bear the images of happy days; your airy smiles still stir youthful tremors in my breast—but my memory faltered. It would have been simpler if I were already dead. I would never be seized again by those long forgotten yearnings. I shuddered at those thoughts; and a tear draws other tears. Crying is my only form of release; through crying I am channeled to the solemn and silent world of spirits; crying is my whispered prayer that lingers in a vagrant tone. I have no one to talk to. I live in solitary confinement. I have been driven to madness even though physically I stay put. My life—full of dolor, pain and suffering. Sometimes I wish I could end it. The only reason I continue to live is for otherwise I lack the courage to carry out that final act, to take me beyond and step into the unknown. It is so much better to have been never born at all, or at least to die an immediate death. How sweet and wonderful death would be. My dear Aya, I am so very sorry! A vast space of nothingness in the empty universe fills my heart. Everyday of my life I live in terror because of you.

One thought on “White female-asian male coupling: the ugly truth about asian men who fetishize white women”

  1. First off, I want to thank you for the laugh lol. I happen to be a white woman who is engaged to an Asian man, with whom I have been living with for 9 years and we have a 4 year old daughter together.
    Regardless of moving from his home land as a child, my fiancée values his culture very much, as does his family. And all have taught me many things, and have always included me in all factors of their lives, and are more supportive and loving towards me than even my own family, which is the only reason I feel like I should comment on this ridiculous, racist, and ignorant opinions.

    My fiancée is very secure in his manhood and has no reason to ever be looking over his shoulder. In fact, it would be quite hysterical to witness a bunch of white men attempt to cause really any type of harm to my fiancée lol as he’s not little and he’s not worried about a group of insecure boys of any race lol see, he’s a wonder man, who treats myself and our daughter very very well. He puts our needs before his own, he is a wonderful provider (no, he does not make 6 figure salary) he works very hard for us. He is a wonderful partner, he listens, is supportive and protects his family. Most of all, and something that ALL women find attractive in any man, regardless of race or culture, he is confident and secure in himself, his beliefs and doesn’t pay mind to simple minded ignorance, or stress himself out over what race is dating what race, etc. He simply is happy being himself, a kind, caring, intelligent and confident man.

    I actually appreciate writings such as this, as it only reminds me of just how lucky and blessed I really am, not only to have fallen in love, and built a family and life with a man who is everything I could have ever wanted, but to welcomed into a family, who regardless of my race, allows me to participate and in their culture, and who have loved me and called me their family for 9 years, which I happen to be very proud to be apart of. I do feel sad for you, because your ignorance and lack of knowledge of the Chinese race, or Asian race as a whole, prevents you from experiencing the truth about Asian race, which is strong, peaceful and rich in culture. And it seams that is what you may be missing, a bit of culture.

    Thank you for another reminder of how lucky I am. 🙂

    With Love, and acceptance,
    Sincerely,

    A white woman in love with an Asian man.

    -Ashley L. Crowe (one day, Ashley L. Lie)

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