“ … She thrusts herself forward, like a cliff against the sea. For the moment, the music is playing, but there is no melody, only notes, a myriad of tiny jolts. She knows no rest, an inflexible order gives birth to her and destroys her without ever giving her the time to recuperate and exist for herself. She races, she presses forward, she gets stricken by a sharp blow in passing and then is obliterated. I would like to hold her back, but I know even if I succeed in stopping her she would remain between my fingers only as a raffish laughing sound. I must accept her death, I must even will it.”

— Jean Paul Sartre, Nausea

The above paragraph is not just describing the notes of music, no, Sartre is writing about the existence of a poor Asian woman. Sartre is writing about me. His words are meant for me after my divorce, as I burst out of my cocoon and was ready to finally live for myself, only to have discovered, “No sooner than born, she is already old, it seemed as though I have known her for 20 years.”

How short life is! I’ve had an epiphany. A brief candle is my life, brisk and fleeting, before it gutters down to the socket of iron candlestick!

Divorced, lonely, and constantly horny, I’ve finally come to accept myself for who I am: a slut, a whore, a yellow cum dump, an inferior chink girl made to serve and pleasure superior white men.

Being a fetish for white men is my passion.

Ever since I lost my virginity to the first white guy who kept praising me for being Asian, saying how much he loves my tight Asian pussy, ever since then I’ve become addicted. It makes me cum so hard when white guys make me pretend to be the stereotypical Asian whore, saying stuffs like “me sucky sucky”, “me so horny, me luv you long time,” or put me in subservient positions like making me massage their feet or clean their house naked and showing me off to their friends telling them that I’m a prostitute, and a chink, even though I’m neither.

The more racist, the more rough and cruel, and the more domineering the white men, the harder I cum. I lost the number of numbers I’ve been fucked to orgasm as the white guys were calling me a nasty chink during sex.

I have tried to step away from this identity of me, this dark side of me. I’ve tried to be the good wife, the caring mother, the chaste and obedient Asian daughter, but it’s not who I am. I can only pretend for so long.

One day in the Life of a BWC Worshiping Asian Whore

As usual that I morning I got up around 7 AM, started cooking breakfast, and around 8 AM, my son came downstairs to eat breakfast. While he was eating breakfast I decided to go into the bathroom and take a shower. While taking shower, I decided to shave my pussy. I have to work at a strip club later that day and I wanted to get myself ready as soon as possible.

I was in the bath when my son walked in on me. I was shaving my pussy and my son asked me if he could help.

My son is 18 years old and he is at that stage of his life when he is very interested in sex and he has been walking in on me on purpose whenever I used the bathroom. In fact, he has been feeling me up, touching me at the most sensitive areas of my body whenever he got the opportunity. Especially during the summer when I’m very skimpily dressed. He loves to fondle my breasts through my blouse, sometimes even reaching into my blouse to grab my tits. When he is not fondling my breasts, he is feeling up my ass, sometimes flipping up my dress, and roughly pulling down my panties to give me a spanking. He also liked to massage my bare legs and feet when I’m laying in bed. A few times he rubbed his cock against my legs and I could feel his cock was hard like a rock inside his underwear.

I don’t know if this is normal behavior among mothers who have sons. I’ve never asked the advice from other mothers. I’m too ashamed, and I’ve been hoping that once my son has a girlfriend, he will let go of me. In the meanwhile, to be honest, I’ve been enjoying the attention my son has been giving me. Also I’ve read somewhere that it’s better to expose your son to your female body and to let him have free access to your female sexual organ, because as his mother, I will have the opportunity to educate him about sex, and this will also release that excessive sexual energy so that he doesn’t go out there and get in trouble with other females.

So with that in mind, I decided to let him. He was very eager and he took the opportunity to play with my pussy as he shaved the pubic hair off of my pussy mound. He rubbed his hands against my inner thighs, and he used his fingers to nib on my pussy lips. He was so intently focused and the excitement was literally bubbling out of him.

After he shaved off my pubic hair he used his palm to wipe off the shaving cream and rinsed it off with water and as he was doing that he stuck a finger into my pussy. I didn’t say anything but I did pull his finger out of my pussy because I thought that was going too far.

It took him more than half an hour to finish what should have taken only a few minutes and I was getting seriously wet having my pussy being manhandled. After he finally rinsed off the last dab of shaving cream he continued to play with my pussy (just the outer part of my pussy) and his eyes were glued to it like he was admiring a piece of art. I asked him if he was done and he asked me if he could kiss it. I hesitated. Allowing my son to play with my pussy was already far enough. Kissing it was going too far. But his eyes looked so pitiful. I explained to him that “Mommy understands you are very interested in sex but you shouldn’t really do this to mommy,” and he said he just wanted to do it once and he promised to never tell anyone about it, so very reluctantly, I agreed. I told him “just this once” and oh my god I couldn’t have never believed how good my son’s tongue felt.

He spread my legs apart as I sat on top of the bathroom sink, my feet dangling in the air. He bent his knees and buried his face into my crotch and his tongue was thrashing into my pussy. He was speaking into my pussy. “I want mommy’s pussy for dessert!”

I couldn’t believe how good it felt.

None of the men I’ve been with had ever eaten my pussy the way my son did. I humped my hip against his face and ended up cumming. I was so embarrassed. I pushed my son’s head off my pussy, jumped off the bathroom sink and ran naked out of the bathroom, went to my bedroom, locked the door and started crying. As I was inside my bedroom, I could hear my son outside begging me to open the door and he was telling me that he was sorry, he never meant to hurt me. His “I love you mom … I love you mom … are you okay? I’m sorry if I hurt you.” still rings inside my head and I could never admit what actually happened to me because I would die of shame if I did.

“I’m off to my classes, mom. I hope you will feel better.” I heard the front door’s hinges creaked and then the door being slammed shut. That was when I came out of my bedroom. I cleaned the dishes, mopped the floor, and feed the cats. After I fed the cats, I had to feed my pussy again. I took out of its packaging the pussy stretcher I had recently purchased off the internet. It clamps my pussy lips and keeps my pussy wide open, and then I fuck myself with anything I can lay my hands on: hair brushes, broom sticks, door handles, coca cola bottles, etc. I have even stuck French fries inside my pussy and ate them before a group of friends once.

Grocery Shopping and Sucking Two College-Aged White Guys

After I have finally satiated my pussy, at least temporarily, I went shopping. I took off the pussy stretcher and instead wore a set of benwa balls inside my pussy and a tiny mini skirt without panties matched with either a sports bra or a strapless top.

These benwa balls were moving against each other inside my pussy with every step I took. I was so completely distracted as I walked aimlessly from aisle to aisle and every white man who passed by me made me ache with an agonizing desire. I so badly wanted to just drop to my knees before any white man and suck him off until he has unloaded in my throat right there in the grocery store, in front of everyone.

I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t even remember what I eventually brought. Just as I was leaving the store two young white men came up to me and asked me “If I ever wanted to get naked?” I was confused, and then one of them took out of his pocket a bottle of “Naked” fruit juice. I was charmed. I ended up going back to their car and sucking off both of them. In exchange, they paid for my grocery. When they paid for my grocery, many people were staring at me. I could almost hear them whisper, “slut”, “prostitute”, under their breath. Perhaps I have imagined those words. Perhaps those words were said out of loud. I was delirious with desire I couldn’t tell any longer. The aroma of white cocks had made me drunk. But as soon as I was out in the parking lot, I had a panic attack. I imagined myself being kidnapped, locked away in a dungeon, and forced to become their sex slaves, and that those two handsome-looking white men, with blonde hair and mesmerizing smiles, were actually serial killers who were about have to me murdered. I imagined seeing the headline in tomorrow’s newspaper: “Local Asian Slut gangbanged and killed by white serial rapists,” and I even saw in my mind’s eye my son crying in his room, his tear-streaked face contorted in pain and sorrow.

But on the other hand, the allure of white cocks was simply too great …

Ever since my divorce I’ve been living the slut lifestyle by having casual sex with lots and lots of young white men. I especially love rough sex. I love having my pussy slapped, my tits pinched and twisted, and my ass spanked hard. The rougher the sex, the more turned on I am.

In general, I would say the more degrading the sex, the more turned on I am.

The two young white guys turned out to be gentlemen who knew how to please women, thankfully. They even attend the same college that my son attends. They were taking turns face fucking me in the back of their car. My head was hanging off to one side and they were taking turns using my mouth like it was a flesh light.

One guy came in my mouth and I felt his cum flooding my entire mouth. When he pulled out I took a big gasp for air and his cum, mixed with my own saliva, all ran outward and they ended up coming out of the edges of my mouth, and out of my nose and I swear I think some of them might have even come out of my eyes. I felt like I was literally drowning in a sea of cum and I was a teary, disgusting mess.

I remember one time I saw my son eating noodles and he was watching TV at the same time and when he laughed the noodle came out of his nose and that was exactly what happened to me, but instead of noodle it was cum.

I was super embarrassed by how messy I must have looked but the more I think about it, the more turned on I am by how humiliated I was, being so brutally fucked that cum was literally coming out of all of orifices. The two white guys must have gone back to their college dorms and bragged to their friends that they had just fucked an older Asian lady so hard cum was leaking out of her nose.

Book Club, Swimming and Ex-Husband

After that, depending on what day of the week it is I either go to a book club, go swimming, or go visit my ex husband.

The book club I was in has One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn as the book of the month to read. It’s a book about Russian labor camp by a Nobel Prize winning novelist. The book was fine, not great. I felt like every moment when I’m not on my knees sucking white cocks, I’m in a labor camp. I’m laboring to get to my reward, and my reward is white cock.

The public swimming has a lot of older white men who were regulars and they were always very friendly.

I have to visit my husband because my daughter lives with him and when I’m over there he as usual begs me to take him back. He tells me that he misses me and that his life is miserable without me but I tell him that I have no interest in getting back together again but he is allowed to pity fuck me. We have passionate sex, the kind of sex that we’ve not had during our marriage. Somehow being divorced makes both of us more hungry. He fucks me raw and cums inside me but I tell him that I take birth control now and I do not wish to become pregnant with his babies anymore.

One time after I visited my ex husband I ran into a former colleague and when I told him that I got divorced, he said he wanted to console me and that turned into me sucking his cock and him telling me that he loves me as I have my mouth filled with his cum.

I come home, cook dinner, and leave a note for my son. My son takes the bus home at night and he feeds the cats and changes out the litter box and then go to sleep.

I had two part time jobs. One a massage parlor, and another one at the local strip club.

At the massage parlor I get to touch men and let them touch me. The only reason I do the job is because I actually enjoy giving pleasure to men, and a few times I’ve dated my customers. I only worked there once a week.

My son’s friends showed up at the strip club I worked at.

The other job I had was at a local strip club. In the small college town where we live, I was the only Asian girl working in any strip club. I did it because it was fun, also I made a lot of money. The club was a full nude club, and I loved rubbing my Asian pussy in the face of happy customers, nearly all of whom were white, and they loved my Asian pussy.

A lot of young college aged guys go to the club too because they get in for free if they show their student IDs. I always knew in the back of my head that one day I might accidentally run into someone I knew because it was such a small town and it’s very rare for an Asian woman to work at a strip club.

Then on this particular day (a Friday to be more precise), as I was crawling around on stage naked taking turns shoving my pussy and ass into the face of customers, a young man asked me if I was someone’s mom. He said he was at my house with my son playing video games a week ago. It was awkward of course but I pretended to be cool and just chatted with him as if I didn’t really care. After we chatted a bit I saw him taking his phone out and leaving the club (there was a strict no phone policy at the club), and I was relieved, thinking in the back of my mind that maybe I should quit working here now, since people were recognizing me.

Within the next hour, however, the guy had returned, and along with him a group of guys showed up and they were all friends with my son and all of them were talking about how they knew me and my son. I was mortified. They were also telling other customers that my son attended college there, the only college in town, considered a public Ivy, and people were getting a good laugh out of it.

I ended up giving lap dances to nearly all of them. I rubbed my tits against their lips, rubbing my bare pussy on their hands and wrists, and used my mouth to hold their cocks through their pants and blew on it. The weather was hot and a lot of them were wearing shorts or sport pants with very thin fabrics and I was able to feel their cocks through their pants. One of them even said, “Ling Ling is so lucky to have such a hot mother. Does he get to see your tits and pussy everyday?”

I felt so humiliated but I was also incredibly turned on being so humiliated like this and when I went home that night I rubbed my clit thinking about what the young man said. That night as I slept I dreamed of someone coming into my room, sticking his fingers inside my pussy and I rubbed my tits and my clit dreaming of being gang banged by all those horny white guys. The next morning I woke up and found all my bed sheets being wet. It’s been so long since I’ve had wet dreams like this, I murmurred to myself and I wondered if I would be able to see those hot young white men again.

It was so much fun but I also decided that it was now time to quit because I was going to get too famous.

___________

This is just a typical day in the life of a divorced Asian slut and I’m loving every day of my new life. And in the future I plan on having more adventures, going to more places, and having sex with more men. Because life is too short and it will be all over before you realize it.