Fragment of the diary of a depraved Asian mother
1.
In the vanilla world, my wants and desires are considered unfathomably depraved, inconceivably twisted, nasty and, perhaps, evil. In the BDSM world, they weren’t received much better.
If only I was normal! If only I merely enjoyed the sensation of being tied up, whipped, caned, fucked, publicly exposed. But no! Even though I enjoyed such treatment, that was simply not enough for me. I craved more. I needed more.
BDSM was too fake for me. BDSM was too contrived for me.
I have a hunger, a hunger that cannot be satisfied by mere games and silly make-beliefs. I crave the real thing! The real humiliation, the most truthful and most deep humiliation.
I crave honesty. I have a dying thirst for it.
When I was in high school I remember masturbating to Iris Chang’s Rape of Nanking. I imagine the author herself must have been similarly turned on by her own book. “She became so ashamed of how sexually turned on she was, of what she was allegedly supposed to condemn that she committed suicide, unable to bear the conflicting emotions of humiliation, and sexual stimulation.” That was the thought that came across my mind when I read about her suicide.
And that was also how I became interested in Chinese history. I enrolled in a Chinese history class in college to fulfill some requirements, and they were immensely interesting, and even now when I get bored, I would go through some of the books on Chinese history. I’m not interested in all the politics and all the historical evidence, etc. I was only going through them to find the juicy bits and imagine the the historical romantic fantasies those Chinese women must have lived through as they were being molested, tortured, and sexually conquered to unending chains of orgasmic ecstasies.
“The wife of the Chinese emperor was forced to have sex with hundreds of soldiers every single day, and when she complained that her vagina was sore, the commander ordered to have her vagina sewn shut with sewing needles, and all the soldiers continued to ravish her, and instead of her vagina, they took turns penetrating her anus. She eventually died of anal rupture.”
The above paragraph was paraphrased from the official history of Song Dynasty (靖康稗史), which you can google and read about yourself if you are interested.
2.
I never seemed to find the kind of man who can give me what I really wanted. I never seemed to find the kind of man who fit my description of what I really wanted in a man.
Until I developed the special relationship with my son.
Sometimes I had fallen asleep with the books that I was reading and I had dreams where I became the wife to the Chinese emperor who was pillaged by barbarians, and I stood face to face with hundreds of savage barbarians, and then I would awake, and find my son sleeping next to me.
I’ve become a sex slave to my son’s desires.
I’ve been involved in BDSM since I was a teenager, and I’ve never felt so at ease, so comfortable, until after I adopted this new role.
Before I became a mother, I used to think only of myself. But afterward, my children become my whole world. And now literally the first thing waking up and the last thing going to sleep that I think about is my son.
I expose myself completely in front of him, no privacy whatsoever. And it just feels so good. I was never scared or intimidated. After all he is my son. We have no secrets between us. I confess to my son that I’ve always dreamed of being an owned slave, and my son find men who’s willing to become my owners. My son complains that the girls at school don’t want to fuck him, so I found him Chinese girls who will fuck him.
Most westerners simply cannot comprehend how much Asian women will devote and dote their sons.
It is a well kept secret from westerners that Asians actually love their sons. Gullible westerners raised on equality and freedom do not know that Asians would litearlly kill their own daughters just to be able to raise their sons. They constantly think and say that I’m simply making things up.
Is it too hard to believe that as an Asian mother will do literally ANYTHING to satisfy her son’s curiosity?
3.
I do think it’s rare though—not only in the sense that I’ve probably gone farther than most mothers, but also—that younger guys would even be interested in an older woman such as myself, and of course I know that most sons actually are ashamed of their mothers, and would rather find a hole and bury their heads in it than being seen with their mothers, let alone confessing to them about their sexual frustration, and listening to their mom’s being a whore.
Well, my son and I have developed a very special relationship. My son loves me very dearly, and I love him back. We do everything together.
The moment I hold my son’s arm, like lovers do, a warm sensation course through my vein. It’s the feeling of love. It’s as exhilarating as romantic love, but more intense, more at ease, and more, dare I say, “natural”.
My son and his friends used me as a gang bang toy.
My son took me to this private house with a bunch of college kids from his fraternity. I haven’t felt this excited in a very very long time. I wore my sexiest outfit—a thong, a see through bra, and a sheer blouse and a tiny skirt that barely covered my ass.
We’ve been drinking and just having a wonderful time. I flirted with lots of young, hot guys who were around my son’s age, and they touched me back. When I was in my 20s, I was the hottest Asian girl in school and all the guys used to drool all over me. It felt so good to be young again.
At some point during the party my son blurted out, “Did you guys know my mom got fucked by over a dozen guys before?”
I was expecting them all to be shocked, but to my utter consternation they all said yes. My son had been telling them about my sexual history and sharing stuffs with them. None of them was surprised. My face was beet red. But they all started talking about how hot I was, how badly they all wanted to “fuck an Asian MILF” … “pump our cum inside your Asian mother” … I felt so flattered and horny at the way they talked about me, treating me like a cum dump.
Eventually one of them asked me to suck his cock and I said yes, feeling emboldened as my son goaded me on. I got on my knees in front of everyone. The guy wiped out his cock and I went to work, giving him a sloppy blowjob and making loud slurping sounds.
As soon as the action started, more guys started to pull out their cocks and for the next hour I was getting my mouth passed around from one cock to another. And despite of all the commotion, I never failed to recognize my son. Even though, being half-Asian, his cock was the smallest, his cock was definitely the sweetest.
After sucking rounds of cocks we moved to the bedroom so they could spit roast me. My head was hanging off the bed as one guy deep-throated me and another one fucked my pussy. None of the guys could last longer than 10 minutes. And I was flattered.
One by one they took turns using my pussy and mouth, always dumping their loads somewhere on my body. My son told them that “there was to be no cumming inside her” and he was policing them, making sure they pulled out before they cummed. And my son told them if they cummed inside me, they would not be allowed to fuck me again, so they were all very obedient.
By the end of the night I was drenched in cum. In stead of being grossed out, my son, naked, crawled on top of me and hugged me with all the cum still on me. We embraced for a very long time, and eventually I felt his cock grow hard and I let my son cum inside me.
No one was allowed to cum inside me besides my son.
4.
But at the age of 38, I’m now way past the peak of my sexuality as a woman. I simply can’t catch up with the enormous amount of sexual libido of my 18 (almost 19) years old son and his friends. My pussy was sore the entire week after that.
Son fucked me 6 times a day.
His lust for me increased to new heights after I had sex with other people. It’s almost as if he actually desired me more than ever, yet at the same time he had a raw hatred of me, mixed with jealousy. After the gang bang session, he was fucking me nearly everyday. Sometimes even 6 times in a single day.
In between the sex sessions, he made me fuck myself with a dildo and I put on a masturbation show for him, so my pussy is never empty. Not just dildos though, he’d grab anything and try to shove it in my pussy: pens, beer bottle, broom stick, spoon, spatula, egg beater, etc.
He also likes to watch his cum drip out of my pussy after he fucks me and has brought me a speculum so he can observe his cum swimming inside my pussy. I’m required to lick up all the cum that leaks out of my pussy.
Like most teenagers I would say, my son also likes to watch WWE and likes to imitate wrestling moves he learned by practicing them on me. For example, he put me in humiliating wrestlings holds, and wouldn’t let me go until I’m in tears from the pain. He would grab my around the waist, throw me over head on the mattress. Or he would tug my head in between his crotch and flip me over his shoulders, an then throw me down.
He always wrestled me naked, slapping me, kicking me, bearhugging me, and after he “defeats” me, usually by twisting my legs over my shoulders and making me tap out—a few times my son made me call him “daddy” before he allowed me to be released—then he would fuck me. Sometimes he used ropes to hogtie me, with my hands and feet tied together. Sometimes he used hand cuffs and cuffed my wrists behind my back.
He fucked me brutally. My asscheeks are now always red from his whipping. My son loves to whip my ass during sex. He has a leather belt that is now dedicated just for my ass-whipping and I had to kiss the belt before the whipping start and I had to count the number of times I was whipped and say “thank you sir” afterward.
My knees are red from kneeling all the time. My wrists are red from the hand cuffs and ropes. And my neck has red marks from the dog collar being pulled.
I love my son. He is fucking the living day light out of my pussy so much so I ended up begging my son to use my ass and mouth instead.
5.
And my son always fucked me raw.
Being an 18 year old, my son has a lot of sexual frustration built up inside and he has been releasing all that excess of energy on my poor body. I believe part of his instinct was to punish me for being a slut.
When my son fucks me he never uses a condom, since I have told him before that “even though mommy has been a slut and a whore, mommy never allowed any of those strangers to cum inside me.”
Because only my son was allowed to cum inside me.
It is true that I can have any man I want. I’m not an unattractive woman. I can have men who are tall, strong, muscular, wealthy, and I have had those men. But I’ve never had experienced anything like the love I’ve had with my son, my own flesh and blood. I can’t explain it. I can’t explain to you why some women fall in love with murderers, why some women fall in love with their own fathers, why some women fall in love with their enemies.
It’s not even the case that my son treats me with any respect or dignity. When he has sex with me, he intentionally degraded me, doing things such as slapping his cock all over my face before sliding it inside my mouth or pussy.
One time I angered him by going out with another man without telling him. When I came back in the evening, he told me to strip and lay flat on bed. I know he was going to punish me.
He squatted over my head as I was sucking his cock. I thought he was either preparing to deepthroat me or going to ask me to lick his balls. Instead he lowered his asshole on my mouth and I ended up licking and tonguing his ass for nearly half an hour.
He then video-called the guy I went out with and showed me licking his asscrack.
In another instance, I was cooking for him and the food was not particularly good. I poured too much salt and it was overcooked. Later that night while we were having sex, without warning my son slid his cock into my ass. He slid it in very quickly, without any lube.
He went in deep too, and it was so fast. I screamed in pain but my son didn’t care and continued to fuck me. He emptied his cum into my bowels and simply walked away as I lay there naked and abused.
I had let my son do anal on me a few times and we both enjoyed it but this time it was different. He was intentionally using anal sex as punishment for me and he made sure that I didn’t enjoy it.
6.
My son can seem cruel, but he can be also very sweet. For instance: on Mother’s Day, my son brought me a fucking machine as a gift.
He ordered it off Amazon and give to me as wrapped up in glittering wrappings. It was such a lovely gesture! And I simply couldn’t refuse. I was in tears. My son had always seemed so sadistic, so taciturn and ruthless, and it melted my heart knowing that he loved me.
The first time I used it I already knew it was unlike anything I have had before. The metal bar that does the thrusting has a detachable end and you can attach dildos and toys of various size and shape to it. My son had ordered me an extra large size dildo, and I knew I was going to have difficulty fitting it inside my pussy.
When we decided to try it, my son made sure I positioned myself comfortably on the bed, with my legs spread wide and the dildo fully snug inside my pussy and only then he turned on the machine.
As soon as it started thrusting, I could feel the difference—the power, the strength, the size. It was amazing. It was pummeling me in ways I had never felt inside me. It was intense, more intense than any man could ever give to me.
My body was craving more and more as my son turned up the speed. I was getting addicted to the sensation of having unrealistically large object inside of me. I couldn’t help but moan in ecstasy as I grew closer and closer to orgasm. My breathing and my heart beat were all getting faster and the machine started to thrust faster and harder too.
My son had the remote control in his hand so there was nothing I could do to stop it.
It was like I was being fucked by the terminator, the metallic, robotic fucking machine who was fulfilling all my deepest and darkest desires.
The machine continued its assault against my ovaries. I was coming closer, and closer. My whole body was trembling as it pounded against me, I knew I was moments from exploding. And then, it happened—I reached the most intense orgasm of my life, it was as if my body was on fire, but it felt good, if that makes sense.
But it didn’t stop there. The machine continued to fuck me, pushing me further and further over the edge, giving me multiple intense orgasms that lasted for nearly a few minutes. I begged my son to turn the machine off but my son was busy masturbating and it wasn’t until after my son had jerked off all over my face that he decided to turn the machine off. I was so exhausted I lay on the bed, with my son laying on top of me and we dozed off to sleep together.
The next day I thanked my son for his gift by sucking his cock and swallowing his cum.
7.
But I also knew it couldn’t possibly last.
My son completes me, and fulfills me in ways that I have never been fulfilled. My son understands me. There has never been a man who is even more intimate to me than my son, in my entire life. I keep no secrets between us. We are lovers for life, inseparable and indivisible.
But I also knew it cannot continue. The physical relation we have had, in its puerile and exploratory form, must come to an end, sooner or later. He has a girlfriend. He needs to have more girlfriends.
My son uses me more or less as a “side fuck”, just like most of the guys who used me.
I exist just as a set of holes to pump and dump their sexual frustration, whether it’s because their girlfriends don’t give suck their cocks, or don’t let them do anal sex, or do BDSM, or for some other reason.
It’s for my own sanity as well. 18 years old’s can be a little too much sometimes. My son has been fucking me 6 times a day, and the last time I was gang banged by all his friends, all of them cummed at least 3 times. The gang bang lasted from evening all the way to the noon of next day. I felt I was on the brink of death from all the orgasms I had. I simply couldn’t possibly take it anymore.
So I introduced a Chinese women to my son and his friends to have sex with
I think it’s good for my son to immerse himself in Asian culture, being half-Asian himself, and that is why I always bring him to Asian cultural events. So the other day we were at an Asian super market and there is a Chinese woman who was pushing an empty stroller.
For some reason we started to chat very casually, because we were both Asian, perhaps? As soon as my son walked over, she became extremely flirty.
My son is half Asian half white and to be honest, for most Asian women, my son looks like a super model. It is well known that half Asian and half white people are extremely attractive.
I invited the Chinese woman to come over to our house for coffee. But, the coffee was not even ready when she came on to my son, pulled down his shorts and started savagely sucking his dick. Her level of sexual desperation was shocking. I stood outside the kitchen door and watched. “She was so hungry for white cock.” I thought. I couldn’t help myself as I reached into my own panties and fingered my wet pussy watching her going down on my virile white son.
She stopped sucking, lifted up the hem of her dress, pulled down her panties in a rush, and bent over the coffee table and spread her ass cheeks to offer my son her wonderfully tight Chinese pussy.
She moaned loudly as my son went in with his gorgeous BWC, the BWC that I’m so familiar and so proud to have served and once he was balls deep she surprised my son with an instant orgasm, her whole body shook for good while.
I was so proud of my son at that moment.
As the pounding of her pussy subdued and my son’s tempo slowed, she murmured, “I haven’t been fucked by a white man for over a year.”
I felt bad for her, and sympathized with her, knowing that many Asian women just like her who have been sexually starved, and I remember myself being in her shoes before well.
White men couldn’t possibly understand how famished Asian women can be. She was not ugly by any standard. She had wide hips and a very thick ass. Her breasts were round and large. Her face was oval and her eyes were almond shaped and they were so seductive and feminine, just tinkling with life. She could have been a dream wife for any white man. Yet, because she was living in an Asian community, she was not allowed to express her sexuality. She was forced to live a chaste, obedient life, oppressed and yearning for freedom, for desire, for white cocks.
It did make me horny and envious, though, to see my son dumping his cum inside another woman. But it was for a greater good. I wept myself and as I wept, my pussy cried too. The Chinese woman ended up staying inside our house the entire day and my son fucked her in the master bedroom while I slept in the smaller bedroom adjacent to theirs.
She was fucked over six times during that night and in addition to the moaning and the groaning, there was also the sound of whipping, spanking, the quivering of the bed, and the constant dirty talk. “Oh, you fuck me so good!” “You are amazing!” “Your balls taste so good” “I love the way your big white cock gags me!” “All I want is your cum, please give it to me.” My half-white son was literally a sex god to this Chinese woman.
The previous day, my son had just turned 19.