A few year ago, while we were vacationing in Thailand, my owner took me to a WMAF swinger’s party, where every white man who attended either had Asian partners or were interested in having sex with Asians.
The dress code for the party was simple: all Asians had to be either fully nude, or in fetish attire. No requirement for White Men.
My owner and I showed up at the party, in a private house hosted by an American expat and his Japanese wife. I wore a see-through mini cheongsam dress with slits on both sides that rode all the way to my hips, while my husband wore a T-shirt and blue jeans.
We sat by the table and joined the conversation, and of course the conversation was about Asian women. They were discussing “the dichotomy of Asian sluts”: how Asian sluts can be both traditional, submissive, obedient, docile, chaste, and yet at same time, kinky and hyper-sexual. “Asian cum sluts here can never get enough of cocks.” A white man in his fifties jumped in as he felt up his petite Vietnamese girlfriend sitting in his lap. My face was flushed deep red as I heard those blatantly degrading remarks, and seeing the Asian prostitutes that served us drinks in string bikinis only intensified my shame. Then some guy was pontificating on Asian biology: “Actually Asian women are not biologically compatible with white guys due to penis size. Asian penis is smaller on average, so Asian vagina is also smaller and tighter and cannot accommodate a white penis because it’s on average much bigger.”
All the Asians sitting by the table were demure and quiet and did not intrude on the conversation. Most had their heads lowered, or cowered into the arms of their white lovers, or simply sitting with their legs tightly squeezed together and smiling awkwardly.
***
“Every white guy knows Asians are horny sluts and need to be fucked constantly. My Asian slut here loves nothing more than getting on her knees and taking a big load down her throat.” All the white guys were looking at me and my owner with an amused and curious expression.
Everything my owner had said about me is true. Indeed, I love white cock and I can never seem to get enough of it. Ever since I got my first white cock I crave it all the time. The feeling of a white man ejaculating in my pussy, in my ass, in my mouth, or on any part of my skin is like nothing else on this earth. The sight of his white cock pulsating and throbbing gives me the sense of accomplishment that I have never able to receive anywhere else in this world.
“Why don’t you show those nice white men what you are good at? Go and suck some cock. Do it now or I’ll beat you ass right here.”
My owner wasn’t joking about beating me. At home, I was frequently slapped, spanked, whipped, and I was often tied up as it happened to me, and yet after every beating, when I was fucked, I was fucked to the most intense orgasm.
I looked to the white guy sitting next to me; embarrassed, ashamed, and horny all at the same time, I asked him if I can suck his cock. Begrudgingly, reluctantly, as if he were doing me a huge favor, he pulled down his pants, and then, his stained, yellowish underwear, showing his flaccid white penis. I felt humiliated knowing that he wasn’t even hard. I got on my knees and grabbed his dick and put it in my mouth as everyone watched. I sucked on it for a few minutes until it became hard and then I reached into my purse and took out a condom and told him to follow me to the bathroom.
***
Once we were in the bathroom he pulled me by my hair and French-kissed me. He was really big and strong and I was incredibly turned on at how rough he was. My pussy was starting to get wet as I continued to play with his penis. In my heart I was so glad to be at this party. Here, unlike in the States, every white man knows how to handle an Asian slut like me. They would never show me any mercy. They would never hesitate to call me racial slurs. And they all act with that air of superiority and absolute dominance that makes me swoon, as if love at first sight.
He threw me on the bathroom floor and started ripping my clothes off. I struggled to put the condom on his dick before he crushed down on top of me and started fucking my pussy.
Then he flipped me over and started fucking me doggy-style. I felt my pussy juice was leaking down on my thighs and there were tears in my eyes.
At this moment the door to the bathroom was nudged open and I heard a voice says, “Fuck, yes!” And before I realized what was going on another guy had popped into the bathroom. He pulled his jeans all the way to his ankles and pushed his penis into my mouth. I was screaming to myself: I’m getting spit-roasted, and I felt an immense orgasm building up inside me.
***
After the first guy came, the second guy took his place. The first guy pulled the condom off his cock, made me hold it in my hand and wave it to the people watching from outside the bathroom. And then he dumped the semen from the condom into my mouth and told me to swallow it. I had only one condom inside my purse and the second guy was fucking my pussy bareback.
I wanted to scream, am I doing a good job, my master? Where are you, my owner? Are you proud of me, my sir? And yet I could not hear nor could I see through the cloud of tears before my eyes. I was drowning and there was no hand to pull me out of this ocean of misery, pain, humiliation, torment, and sexual ecstasy.
My eyes were dragomans for my tongue betied and yet they told full clear the love I fain would hide.
Deep repose, mysterious refreshment—for her whose eyes, although delicate interpreters of the world, whose mind, although an acute observer of of the world, must now bear for ever the indelible imprint of the barrenness of her life—to feel herself transformed into a creature foreign to humanity, blinded, deprived of her rational faculty, almost a fantastic unicorn, a chimaera-like creature conscious of the world now only through her pussy, her ass and her mouth.
And when the devout religion of my eyes maintained such falsehood, then turn tears to fire and be burnt for liars.
More people started coming into the bathroom. And yet I couldn’t see or hear anything other than feeling erect penises covered with pubes entering my holes. By the time the second guy came inside my pussy, I had 1 cock inside my mouth, 2 cocks in each one of my hands.
I vaguely heard doors close and open and through a thick fog I saw even more feet. And pretty soon I had a cock in my ass. Besides cocks, I also felt calloused hands. They were groping my breasts and pinching my nipples. A hand also pinched my clit. It felt like a pair of pliers was being applied to my clit.
Overall I had 20 different guys using me in the bathroom during the party. I was fucked in my pussy 20 times. I was fucked in the ass 10 times. My mouth was used to clean their cocks after they were inside my ass or pussy. I had no less than 100 orgasms.
***
By the time they had finished with me, I was completely covered in cum. Cum was leaking out of my pussy, my ass, my mouth, and even my nostrils. There was cum on my face, in my hair, on my tits and ass, and even my hands and legs were slimy with cum. I was so exhausted, that I felt asleep in a pool of cum.
I woke up hours later still laying on the dirty floor and found myself playing with my own pussy. I was so horny thinking what happened to me I was sticking my fingers into my pussy while I was asleep, and as soon as I was semi-awake, I scooped out the cum from my pussy and put them in my mouth. I twisted my own clit to give myself another orgasm as I whimpered, moaned, and cried, as the vision of bliss, like the glorious rays of the sun melted and scattered in a cloud of dreams over my entire body.
Risen from the horizon of the heavens and shedding a mysterious light in which I was bathed, I felt a hand reach toward me and a dog collar was placed around my neck. Teary-eyed, I looked up and saw my owner, bright, radiant, angelic, leading me by a leash and instinctively, I started crawling, crawling, like a dying prisoner crawling toward freedom, I crawled out of the bathroom and back into the living room in which the host was still entertaining the guests.
In the center of the living room were several small dog cages where all the “Asian sluts” were put inside. My owner led me to one such cage and I crawled in and then I heard the latch lock behind my ass. I cowered in a fetal position. The host of party walked to my cage, pulled it up with one hand and placed me on top of a table. He put on a condom and fucked my pussy through the bars on the cage. So basically, the first guy who fucked me used a condom. The last guy who fucked me used a condom. No one else in between used a condom. After he finished, he waddled over to my face, with his big white shaft swinging in between his massive thighs, and bent down and smiled at me. The condom was dangling and drooping heavily with a huge load of cum inside. I was staring at it, and he said, “So, do you agree? Asians are horny sluts who needed to be fucked constantly.” I was too weak to say anything back, and merely nodded my head.
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Author: jennifer suzuki
I have been a very confused—some might say very conflicted—girl ever since I can remember and I have always lived in a fantasy world of my own making.
I was born in Japan, my mother is Chinese and my father is Japanese, and my father's mother or my grandmother was German Dutch, and I came to the United States as a teenager and lived and went to school in Maryland, and worked in New York.
I lived in fantasy worlds since I was a teenager and I have always done so, sometimes so deep in my own fantasy I forgot my own identity. I no longer knew who I am. Physically I look more European than asian. My father is of mixed heritage—he has white blond hair, but he also has some distinctly Japanese features. On the other hand my features mostly resembled my grandmother, who was a full blooded European woman. Which was not something that really bothered me. Actually most modern Japanese look very European compared to the rest of asians.
My father was a sadist, and my mother, on the other hand, was, in my opinion, a masochist with no self respect. Growing up, seeing my father beating my mother was almost as frequent as having dinner, and when not beating her, she was constantly being humiliated and degraded, like having to serve dinner to him naked on her knees or being tied to an utility pole only in her panties during the winter. At first I believed my mother was a victim, a unfortunate human being in the hands of a cruel evil man, but as I grew older I realized that it was my mother who enjoyed being treated this way. The initial realization made me feel she was a disgusting, perverted, sick person, but as I grew older I began to have the almost identical sexual fantasies that my mother lived and experienced through. I began to think that my mother was the luckiest woman on earth since apparently she had found a man who understood her desires and could give them to her.
My dad studied and worked in America before, and during that period he desperately wanted to marry a white woman, and vehemently pursued several white women, but was unsuccessful. At the same time Japanese women were unwilling to marry him. Maybe because just like him they were looking to marry into the white race, or maybe because he had sadistic tendencies. Out of options he settled to look for a Chinese woman. Statistically, marriages between Chinese women and Japanese men have been quite common, and I personally knew quite a few couples just like my mother and father. Even here in America I knew several Chinese women who had Japanese boyfriends and those women were actually quite proud of having superior Japanese men as boyfriends. Japanese in general look much more European compared to other asians and I suspect it was the putative European appearance that attracts other asian women. Of course Japanese are not Europeans, no matter how much we try to become European, just as Jews will never be fully accepted as White Christians. I think Jews and Japanese have a lot in common. We were both persecuted by Europeans, the Jews by Germans, and Japanese by Americans, yet we both come to love our white Masters. Jews weren't officially considered white until very recently, and I think as time progresses eventually Japanese will be categorized as white in the future, though Jews and Japanese will always know that they are still inferior to their Nordic Masters. But as always the Jews will be Masters over the Arabs and the Japanese will be Masters over the rest of Asia. There is no other meaning to life, other than the degree of domination.
I had an older sister who looked fully asian, as opposed to me who looked much more European. And ever since childhood I have always known for a fact that I was treated better by everyone else because of my distinctly European appearance. In school classmates would be hesitant to tease me because they always thought my father might be an American or an European man even though they knew my mother was Chinese but somehow they still were afraid of me solely because of my European appearance. The thing was that in Japanese naming system, my mother's last name automatically gets attached to mine, so for example, my name in Japanese would actually be "Suzuki Liu Jennifer", because my mother's maiden name is Liu; this way everyone would instantly know my mother is Chinese. On the other hand my sister was bullied almost everyday by upper classmates because she looked very Chinese. They made fun of her hair and clothes and told her that she looked like a Chinese pig and I had seen boys pulling down her pants and laughing at her for having a "Chinese vagina". I was a very young girl back then and I felt ashamed of having her as a sister so in school I didn't talk to her at all. When I was 12 years old, she committed suicide by hanging herself in her closet. I know this because I was the one who discovered her body. My parents would have never told me about her death if I did not saw her dead body by myself. And ever since her death a dark cloud formed over my head and throughout my teenager years I was constantly harrowed by thoughts of suicide. It was not until I was much older that I learned suicide is infectious and that had been why I was constantly thinking about suicide. The realization made me try not to think too much about death, but no matter how much I try I can never get her image out of my head. Sometimes I feel she still haunts me because I didn't talk to her in school.
My parents divorced when I was 14 and I went to live with my mom in China for two years. Contrary to popular beliefs, I had never experienced any form of racism or discrimination against me when I was living in China. Most people assumed that I was an European girl and the aura of being European seemed to make me inapproachable, like the shield of Athena covering me from head to toe. Even when I was in school, when classmates would know my father was Japanese because of my last name, I had never really felt any discrimination, though I did feel they were kind of afraid of me. I had never realized how much being White meant until I was in America: the symbol of power, domination, and superiority that being White implies. Being White is being the entelechy of all that is beautiful, good and righteous. Which is strange because my nationality still is, in actuality, Japanese and as I grew older I started to look more asian. My hair has gotten completely dark and my looks started to resemble my mother's. I used to have very light-colored hair, but I just felt fortunate that I do not look fully asian like my sister was.
When I saw this image [of a naked asian woman kneeling next to a black furred dog] in a Japanese SM magazine a few days ago, all of a sudden I remembered seeing my mother in a similar position when I was maybe just 5 or 6 years old. It was not a pleasant experience; it was an extremely scary and traumatic experience, and growing up I heard constant moaning and muffled screams coming from my parents' bedroom. Every evening was a nightmare to fall asleep. But knowing that many asian women were treated the same way as my mother had been treated somehow made me feel better about my own family. At least my parents were not as weird as they seemed, and while growing up I had gradually come to realize that many asian girls have the same masochistic tendencies as I do, but many were just very shy and wouldn't admit their secrets. So it seems there are many masochistic asian women out there who thrives on been humiliated and degraded just like the girl in this image; I don't know why but this image made me feel kind of normal. I have lived in the States for nearly ten years now and I have not talked to my parents, who had divorced, for several years, especially to my mother whom I had some very severe arguments with over the years, especially when she remarried after she went back to China. I was more fond of my father though I haven't really talked to him that much either because he too had remarried. Despite all the mean things I had said about my dad, he was always very gentle with me and never beat me. He beat my sister and my mother but never me and I suspect he was much more gentle with me because of my more European looks. I felt their divorce was a punishment for me, as if they had abandoned me and I never felt comfortable with either of them or their new spouses, whether it be in China or in Japan. My mother's new husband was a very cruel and domineering white man living in China and he never treated me with the same special treatment I received from my dad. And I remember one time when I went out with him people on the street mistook me for his wife and I felt so disgusted I never wanted to go out with him again and then he would yell at me and yell at my mom. I am glad to have gotten out of there. And my dad ... well let's just say I couldn't bear to coexist with his new wife either. The last time we talked was already 3 years ago. This image had brought back so many long forgotten yearnings.
I miss my sister and my parents.
The memory of my sister and my parents started to fade away, like wavering forms they passed before my clouded sight; their images have become a blur rise about me out of mist and cloud; their faces, and their figures have become shades of phantoms; I wanted to hold you close to me in that blessed fleeting moment when you reappeared to me in my dreams. If only I possessed the strength to draw you near. I wanted to forever remember you—you bear the images of happy days; your airy smiles still stir youthful tremors in my breast—but my memory faltered. It would have been simpler if I were already dead. I would never be seized again by those long forgotten yearnings. I shuddered at those thoughts; and a tear draws other tears.
Crying is my only form of release; through crying I am channeled to the solemn and silent world of spirits; crying is my whispered prayer that lingers in a vagrant tone. I have no one to talk to. I live in solitary confinement. I have been driven to madness even though physically I stay put.
My life—full of dolor, pain and suffering. Sometimes I wish I could end it. The only reason I continue to live is for otherwise I lack the courage to carry out that final act, to take me beyond and step into the unknown. It is so much better to have been never born at all, or at least to die an immediate death. How sweet and wonderful death would be. My dear Aya, I am so very sorry! A vast space of nothingness in the empty universe fills my heart. Everyday of my life I live in terror because of you.
A family dog
Growing up, I always felt lonely. My family dog was my only companion. He was a slightly larger than a medium sized dog, with grey and dark fur, and a nozzle that resembled a wolf. He was so cute, so adorable, and he was my only friend. I often played with him in my desperate attempts to communicate with another living being, like Madame Bovary sitting by her fire place in a melancholic longing for escape. I want out!, out of this nonchalant prison of thoughts, out of this cruel alienated society, out of these mind forged manacles whose clanking I hear like looming madness; the marks of domestication on their faces, marks of psychological slavery, marks of intellectual death; they are mere automatons, inanimate objects, so lifeless like straw men, hollow men, stuffed men. I can't bare to look at those miserable beings' faces. In a domesticated dog I see more humanity than the entire humanity. If only my family dog can take me away! And I will elope with him to a happy place, where there is no more sorrow, no more dread, no more cold metallic prison walls of the mind.
My family dog was my only friend, and he was my only confidante. To him I entrusted all my deepest secrets. Sometimes I wished I was a dog: no more worries, no more sadness, no more consciousness, no more thoughts, just the need to satisfy my most basic instincts, lying by my owner's feet, worshiping him and completely dependent on him.
Sometimes I wish I could have another dog just like the family dog I used to have in Japan. And he will be my husband. I will belong to him. I will be his bitch. I will obey him, crawl under his belly, gently caress his furs with my soft hands, and please him like I would please my husband. And he will be my beast and I will be his beauty. Albeit he will be a gentle beast, always so obedient to me, and yet always so much more aggressive, and animalistic; he will protect me from harm, with his sharp fangs and naturally endowed muscles for chasing down his prey; and yet he will honor me and obey me like a lover would. He will never be jealous, never be angry, as long as he is fed and watered. He will be my best friend.
View all posts by jennifer suzuki
Being used as you were meant to be used.