I’m an international student from China and I’m currently going to graduate school in a remote city in mid-west. I came from a very conservative family but after I came to the USA I started to explore American culture and gradually I became enamored, especially regarding sex and the American hook up culture. I had a Chinese boyfriend in China but we broke up as I wanted to explore sex and love in USA by myself.

My sexual journey started when I was still in undergrad. I had a roommate who was also Chinese and we went to parties together. We met two white men and they brought us back to their apartment for sex. The sex was absolutely amazing and I wanted more.

My sexual encounter with a racist Ukrainian man

I downloaded Tinder and started swiping until I met a tall, blonde-haired white man in his mid 30s. My roommate was out with her boyfriend for the weekend and so I invited him to come over to my apartment. I put on my party dress with high heeled ankle-strap sandals, black stockings, the sexiest bra I brought from Victoria Secret. I cooked him food and poured some wine. My stomach was full of butterflies as I waited.

Anyway, he came over and that was when I realized he was not American either. His English had a heavy accent which made it difficult to understand and I was surprised. I didn’t like him as much as I did after I realized he was an immigrant from Ukraine.

But he started to get all handsy with me. First my arms, then he slipped his hands into my dress and touched my breasts. I was nervous but I didn’t resist.

Then he reached under and placed his fingers between my thighs. I was scared and I told him that I needed to go the bathroom and left. I thought over what I wanted to do in the bathroom. My pussy was wet, and so I decided I would have sex have with him.

I went back out to the dining room, and I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom where I played some music and stripped for him. He became hard and I sucked his cock.

I was naked now and he grabbed me like a rag doll. He was over 6 feet tall and I’m only 5 feet 2. He lifted me over his cock and was about to insert his penis into my vagina. I told him to please wait as I fumbled to get a condom out from my night drawer.

But the thing was, the condom was too small for him. His cock was too big and I tried really hard and I was only able to slip the condom over just the tip of his cock.

So I told him that instead of vaginal sex, I would give him oral sex and he said okay. I got on my knees and started sucking on his cock. It was so big I couldn’t even fit his entire cock inside my mouth. His cock got even bigger as it became harder. And then he picked me off the floor and slammed me on my stomach on the bed. I thought, maybe he would do cunnilingus on me as my previous sex partner did, but instead, I felt his entire body pressing on top of me and his huge cock was poking into my back.

I almost screamed out and I told him to stop. I didn’t agree to vaginal sex, but he told me to shush and without any foreplay, he just stuck his penis into my vagina. I felt my pussy was being stretched to its limit and I was in agony.

But I was also horny and my pussy was wet and I had orgasm with him on top of me. He was very happy to see me reacting to his thrusts and he made some comment that I don’t remember exactly what they were, but as he was finishing, he muttered, “chink whore”, in my ear and he was shooting his cum into my pussy.

After he pulled out I felt the wet sticky fluid between my legs, and I was scared. I was not on birth control, and previously, I had always been using condoms, even when I was with my Chinese boyfriend. But he just wiped his cock off with my panties and then left my apartment.

I was shocked and I felt used, but I also felt cheap and worthless. I can’t explain it. I masturbated thinking about what he said to me, and the phrase “chink whore” reverberated through my mind and somehow I liked it. The previous white guy (who was an American and a graduate student at my college) had been very gentle with me and was very respectful, and for some reason I just didn’t like him as much as the second guy.

The second guy was not just older, but he was also married and has kids, and he works as a truck driver, and he spoke English with a heavy accent, and yet the way he treated me made me shudder with orgasm.

Also, I now know that the tatto on his chest was a neonazi tattoo.

The guy who made me confess that I’m an inferior whore.

I started to realize that I was turned on by the aggressiveness and the nonchalance of the second guy and that was when I decided to sought out more risky men, men who didn’t seem to respect me as much as the the first guy. On Saturday evening, I met with my third sex partner and as he was fucking me, he made me tell him:

  • how many guys I’ve fucked;
  • how many of them had cummed inside me;
  • how often I have been having sex with each one of the previous guys;
  • how many times in one night I have been fucked by each one of the previous guys.

As he was asking me those questions, he was fucking me doggystyle. My face was buried into the bed, and my hands were tied behind my back. But it didn’t stop there.

He changed position, released my hands from behind my back, and then he told me, that I was going to call each one of the guys I have fucked previously and let them hear me being fucked by him.

The idea made me feel so humiliated and degraded. He was now on top of me fucking me in the missionary position and he handed my phone me, with the screen to my face and told me to call those guys one by one. The first guy didn’t pick up. The second guy picked up, and the third guy made me tell the second guy that I was being fucked and I wanted to be tag teamed and wondered if he was free tonight …

The humiliation tour continued all night long. I was made to confess to him that I’m an inferior chink whore. He even made me call my Chinese ex-boyfriend in China just so the poor Chinese guy could hear me being fucked in America by a white American man. And the more humiliated I was, the more turned on he was. He cummed inside me three times in one night. And in between the sex, he made me crawl around on all fours, he put paper clamps on my tits, and pussy lips, and as I crawled around, he told me to speak Chinese to me, or make piggy noises like oink oink, etc.

I want to become a slave.

The degradation and humiliation eventually made me realize that I am in fact a masochist. I started to understand why I was not able to stay in long term relationships with nice men. I started to understand my own sexuality and kinks more and, even though at times I became apprehensive, not in particular of the danger around me, or the danger from men, but more than anything else, of the dark, spider-webbed recess of my own desire; still, I wanted to explore further, to descend further down into the forbidden trough of my heart.

I began to fantasize of more extreme sex. Regular vanilla sex with nice guys can no longer satiate my lust. I also began to watch BDSM porn and read about the stories of other Asian women who came to America and being turned into sex slaves. It was this search that led me to this website, and I’m grateful to have found a place to call home.

I think I’m now ready to take the next step in my life and become a slave to a white man who is creative, sadistic, misogynistic, dangerous, and twisted … a racist, white supremacist, genocidal white man who is not scared to be beating me, enslaving me, and torturing me for his sick, sick pleasure …

I was scared of my own desires, but after long time lurking and hiding my real self, I am now ready to take the next step. I am a naked woman standing on the edge of a cliff, at the site of a bungee jump, and I want to place my complete trust into a man who will help me to become the slave that I have dreamed on numerous sleepless nights. I need him to push me down the cliff, even if I were to fall and be broken into a thousand pieces, but I need him to reassure me that after I descend into the abyss, I will reascend like the phoenix and be reborn.

The above post is a guest contribution. Opinion expressed and views held are solely the submitter’s and may not be reflective of the Inferior Asian Editor Team.