Author: jennifer suzuki

I’m an Asian mother with two children and a loving family, and yet there I was, naked, collared, on my knees humping the leg of a white man, like a bitch in heat …

1.

By the time I turned 35, I have finally come to the realization, that I can’t enjoy sex unless I’m being treated like a whore.

All my life I’ve been living in denial, in denial of who I really am.

Once I’ve tasted that elixir of sexual orgasm achieved through coercion, humiliation, physical violence, and torture, nothing else in life can satisfy me. I become starved when I’m not in that state of bliss.

There was a period of my life when I was seeking 7 different guys at the same time. And what follows is a description, a mixture of diary and reflection, lived experience and introspection, of what it means to be an Asian slut.

2 of the 7 guys I was seeing were my doms who trained me to be submissive. The rest were friends with benefits (fwbs). All of them were different shades of white: Italian, Irish, British, Scottish, even Jewish and white Hispanic (Brazilian by nationality, German by ethnicity). I let those men take turns using all my Asian holes.

And when I’m not being fucked, I masturbate myself at home. I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated. I didn’t feel the need to hide my sexuality from him. He is 18 years old and he should know that Asian women need white cocks.

2.

On a Friday evening, I went to see my fwbs, and as soon as I met with my fwb #1 inside a diner, I was flushed from head to toe with a rush of horny. The thought that after the beef steak and the salad, I would be eating his BWC for desert made my heart jump and my face melted and contorted and if I weren’t in a public place, I would have started to rub my hands against my clit and nipples which were already hard like rocks. There is a saying, when a woman approaches 30, she becomes ravenous like a wolf. When a woman approaches 40, she becomes aggressive like a tiger. I didn’t realize the truth of those idioms until now.

3.

I couldn’t wait anymore. As soon as I entered his apartment, I rushed to strip off my panties and let my fwb #1 stick his hardened penis inside my vagina. As soon as the tip of his cock head touched my pussy lips, I murmured OMG it feels good.

And just then, as his cock thrust into my pussy, suddenly the image of my son masturbating at home and smearing his cum on my panties and bra flashed through my mind and at the same time an orgasm flooded through my entire body.

I felt guilty to be honest. I felt angry with myself. I felt scared that my fwb’s cum had been deposited inside my vagina. I loved being fucked bareback. Being cummed inside made me feel alive, but post-coitus anxiety also was very real for me. After my night of debauchery, when I went home, my son always asked me “Where have you been all night, mom?”, with his eyes wide and round, and a flicker of devilish smile on the edge of his mouth.

With cum still dripping out of my pussy, I went over to fwb#2 and we “watched netflix and chilled”. My fwbs ranged from guys in their twenties that could potentially be classmates to my son to guys in their eighties who were older than my granddad (if he were still alive). My fwb#2 was near the age of retirement, single, living with just a dog and a “stepson” that he adopted from China ten years ago.

6.

While I was out bar hopping with my fwb #3, my son texted me and asked me where I was. Sometimes he texted. And if I didn’t respond to his text, he called. Even when he didn’t text or call, he peppered me with questions when I got home. So this particular Friday I texted back telling him that I was hanging out with a few girlfriends and that he should go to sleep now.

I know I talk about my son a lot. For those of you who do not have kids, let me tell you having children changes you. It absolutely does. My son is my entire life and I love my son, and even though I do enjoy the company of other men, and I indulge in sexual escapades with many of them, at the end of the day, my connection to them is merely physical, and if they become too romantically attached to me, or displeases me in anyway, I leave. On the other hand I will never leave my son. My spiritual loves belongs to my son and only to my son. No body else comes even close.

7

Being a virile young man of half white and half Asian heritage, my son is naturally curious about sex, especially about Asian female sexuality and is very eager to experiment, and I’m actually very happy to participate and I have served as his guinea pig on various sexual experiments that he is interested to perform.

I have so far allowed my son to freely examine all my sexual organs so he does not have any mystery about Asian females in general. I let my son play with my nipples, ass, and pussy whenever he wanted. Initially I was hesitant about letting him touch my pussy, but it seemed to me that the more I refused him, the more he wanted to touch it, and so I ended up yielding to his wishes. I told my son very explicitly that, if you ever felt the urge to play with mommy’s pussy, all you have to do is ask, and I will gladly drop my panties and spread my legs for you.

This is what I do for any white man ayway. And being half white himself, my son gets the entire privilege to have free access to my pussy. And of course he has taken that privilege very well.

Right now he is not content with just playing with my pussy using his fingers. He has tried to insert various objects inside my pussy to test the depth and holding capacity of it. And I’m as always very happy to assist in his exploration.

The fact of the matter is, letting my son having a free rein over me is causing me to be sexually aroused all the time. For instance, when my son plays with my nipples and then plays with my pussy, my nipples are hard like little marbles, and my pussy became very moist and discharges transparent goo. He notices it of course but he doesn’t seem to fully understand what it means. He is very curious about the wetness and the liquid. A friend of his suggested that he put small marble balls inside my pussy and see if it gets wetter and this is exactly what my son plans on doing.

8

By the time fwb #3 and I made back to his place, it was close to midnight. We showered together and then I went home. Sometimes I chose to stay overnight. But it depended on my schedule, and whether or not fwb #4 was available.

9

Natural life is the nourishing soil of the soul. Anyone who fails to go with life remains suspended, stiff, rigid in mid air. That is why so many people get wooden in old age; they look back and cling to the past with a secret fear of the future in their hearts. They withdraw from the life process, at least psychologically, and consequently remain fixed like nostalgic pillars of salt, with vivid recollections of youth but no living relation to the present. From the middle of life onward, only she who remains vitally alone is ready to die with life.

Sometimes I feel I didn’t begin to live until I turned 35. I became more nervous, edgy, and neurotic. My mood swings became more violent. And at the same time, I became more submissive toward men. I suppose it is the realization that I’m no longer the beautiful woman that every man once adulated, worshiped, and would have died for just to be close to me. And as Carl Jung would have said, now I must confront the other part of life, the inevitable coming of death. Fear of death is fear of life itself. I would rather that I leave this world without any regret.

My fwb#4 has the biggest cock and at the age of 21, he was in the same age range as my son. His cock stretched my pussy to its limit and when I was being fucked in the cowgirl position, I could see my own pussy lips gripping onto his cock like a suction cup. Which cause me to orgasm immensely.

I never ask my fwbs to use condoms because the feeling of a white man’s dick cumming inside me is my biggest cravings. The feeling is surreal: his cock throbbing, the short, violent, final thrusts as he chased each pulsed shot of his ejaculation. The feeling of his flesh hardening into me, stirring, and not knowing when it would happen but predestined to be happening anytime soon. And the fear. The risk.

Of course I’m fully aware of the risk. If I did not take those risks, I could not have become a mother by now.

But the risk made it all the more thrilling.

10

On Saturday morning I met with my dom #2. As soon as I entered his house he made me crawl with a dog collar and leash and took naked photos of me. He also had a basement where he had lots of BDSM equipment like pillories, cages, and he had his own photo studio. Dom #2 was married and his wife was interested in me as well. After my session we—me, him, and his wife–all had lunch around 3 PM and I went home.

11

On Saturday evening I met my dom #1. My dom #1 turned me on the most. He was rough, aggressive, and while I did appreciate men who were nice and kind, which all of my other fwbs satisfies, I got truly turned on when I was being degraded and humiliated, and which was what my dom #1 did. He not only verbally degraded me, calling me very degrading nicknames, but also treated me like a piece of garbage and it just got my aching cunt really wet.

The backdoor to his house was always unlocked and at our arranged time I let myself in and the second I walked into his presence I ceased being a person. I was his “bitch, whore, slut, fuck toy, cum dump,” and whatever other degrading names he wanted to call me.

My dom#1 didn’t ever fuck me. He only used me. For dom #1 I was only good for humiliation and abuse.

I licked his armpit, his feet, his asshole, and his balls. I was not allowed to suck his cock without permission. I prostrated before him, like a bond slave, and begged him to use me however he wishes. I begged him to spank me, flog me with his belt, and used my mouth as his ashtray.

He and I always found the most creative ways to humiliate me. Example: It was my idea that he should use my mouth as an ashtray. He came up with the idea of putting a flesh light in my mouth. When he watched porn, he fucked the flesh light that was stuck inside my mouth.

We often watched porn together and we watched a lot of SM, gangbang, interracial WMAF, mostly amateur ones. And we often came up with ideas and scenes inspired by those porn.

It was my dom #1 who trained me to drink piss.

Like Dostoevsky’s idiot, I initially was repulsed by the idea and of course refused. After the initial refusal, I began to fantasize about it. But no matter how strong the impulse, implementing it in real life made me hesitant.

But my dom was the asbolute gem in obedience training of sluts like me. He was patient, generous, and unique in his abilities to soothe and adopt.

The first time: he mixed his piss into my fruit punch. I couldn’t taste it at all. But I knew that there was his piss in my drink. The lack of smell and taste helped me overcoming my aversion towards drinking piss.

Then, he mixed his piss into the food I ate, and this time in higher concentration. I definitely smelled and tasted his piss, but if I ate my food without complaining, I was rewarded with an orgasm, and if I stopped and gagged, I was slapped. Motivated, and the fact that it was my favorite food, I became used to the taste of piss in my mouth.

The next morning I ate my cereal mixed in his piss and nothing else. By noon time I was sent home with a water bottle filled with his piss and I was told to drink it in small quantities throughout the day.

Once at time I was instructed to drink my own piss by pissing into a cup first.

After a week of training, I was able to drink my dom’s piss directly from his dick without any complaint.

To celebrate my achievement, he took pictures of me drinking his piss . He said one day he would like to have those pictures sent to my family.

Sometimes I would fall asleep and awake in the middle of the night for short snatches, thinking that he has finally done it and I can’t stop rubbing my clit over the excitement of finally becoming a ruined whore.

And during those fitful hours at midnight, I heard the irregular beating of my own heart, and I opened my eyes to settle upon the shifting kaleidoscope of my own dark depravity.

In addition to those pictures of me drinking piss, I have tons of pictures and videos of me sucking cocks, being fucked by different guys, double and triple penetrated, etc. There is a secret stash of my lewd selfies that I keep on my phone and laptop.

12

One time we watched an amateur porn where an Asian whore was holding piss enema inside her ass and he decided to try it on me. I laid down in the bathtub, with my feet over my head and then he put a speculum inside my asshole and aimed his piss at my asshole. Piss dripped all over my body, my mouth, my face, my tits, and my hair. Some of it ended up in my rectum, but not all of it. It was good enough. He pulled out the speculum, replaced it with a butt plug and made me hold it in place.

The piss inside my rectum made me feel so dirty, and yet so horny. And when the horniness passed, I felt a sickness inside my stomach thinking about the level of depravity I have stooped to.

13

I worship White Men. I exist just to serve White Men. Not just in the sexual sense. I am White Men’s 24/7 slave, domestic, sexual, no-limits, no-bars-hold, no rights, no human dignity, total, complete consummate slave.

White Men are literally my gods.

There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for my White Men and I want White Men to know that they deserve nothing less than total submission and devotion from a yellow slut like me.

I worship the ground White Men walk on. I kiss White Men’s feet, suck their balls, I let White Men use my mouth as a urinal, I eat White Men’s asses in front of all my Asian family members.

I strive to fulfill all the fantasies of White Men no matter how depraved they may be. I bring other Asian girls for White Men to fuck. I give massages to White Men, let them use me as a cock sleeve while they watch porn or look at pictures of other women.

I want White Men to do anything they want to me. I want to give White Men complete access not just to my body, my soul, but also to my bank accounts, my house, my personal data, etc. I want to crawl between White Men’s feet like a bitch in heat. I want to stay at home and cook for them, clean their houses, wash their clothes while they go out and fuck other women and have fun. I will clean White Men’s toilets with my tongue. I will polish their shoes with my mouth.

I want to forever remain an inferior Asian slave and serve my superior, powerful White Masters and deify all the White Men to become gods and turn all the Asian women into their whores just like me, because that’s what White Men deserve.

This is a mantra for Asian sluts that I wrote for my dom at the time. I found it in my diary and I decided to include it here. I love writing manifestos, mantras, and other erotic-philosophical treatises like those above, and when I’m over at my dom’s place, I strip naked, kneel before him, and read those out loud as he videotaped me.

I promised my dom #1 that one day I will give those videos to my son and daughter so they could learn from their mother on how to become a proper Asian slut. My daughter is 21 and currently attending MIT in Massachusetts. I’m very proud of her, and, of course, she only dates white guys.

14

I courage my dom#1 to come up with creative ideas to humiliate and torture me, and in some sick and twisted way, I see in my dom#1 qualities which I have been nurturing in my son.

I love the fact that both my dom and my son treat me as if I were a worthless whore and order me to do whatever they were pleased and not caring a thing about what I want. Of course I would never admit it in words to them, but I guess they both knew that I was okay with all this.

One time my dom made me dress like a cheap whore and drove me to that part of town where there were a lot of Asian prostitutes and made me stand on the street corner and pretended that I was one of them.

It was one of those “Chinatowns” in New York City and there was a particular street which was lined with lots and lots of massage parlors and Chinese hookers walked around asking men to go inside. You could easily tell that they were prostitutes. Something about the way they looked at men, the way they stood, the way the dressed.

When I saw those Asian hookers I was immensely humiliated and to become one of them made my heart sink and my pussy tingle. It was one of those things that I’ve always wanted to try, and my dom #1 decided to help me fulfill my sick fantasy.

I use the word “sick” because that is what I was told. I was told by the polite society to hide those “sick” urges because they are not proper, “good”, “normal”, or “healthy,”, but my dom#1, whom I loved as much as I loved my son, never felt that way about me. He was always supportive of me, and told me that there was nothing wrong with pursuing my desires and helped me become the “depraved asian slut” that I always dreamed about.

I was wearing a tight miniskirt, no panties, and a top without a bra and it was in December. He told me to go walk on the street and before I got out of the car he gave me a remote controlled vibrator and told me to stick it inside my pussy and hold it in by squeezing my thighs together. I wore heavy makeup so no one could recognize me.

I knew I looked like another cheap Asian whore on the prowl for cocks and it made me excited. My heart was fluttering with the absurd notion that I could run into an old acquaintance, a former classmate, a friend, or even a family member. I thought that my ex husband might accidentally walk on the same sidewalk, grab me by my shoulders and ask me “Are you really who I think you are?” I even thought about the absurd situation where my son and daughter might accidentally saw me like this.

As I stood on the frosty December wind, at least a few hundred men and women passed by me. Some women sneered at me. Some men completely ignored me. They passed by me as if I was invisible as the air. Then there were men who ogled at me.

Those men stopped in the middle of the street and stared at my tits and ass, leered at me, catcalled me, made gestures to my naked legs and grinned and spoke nasty words.

In those strangely inspired, misshapen adventures, the cosmos of my own sexuality was made the object of my virulent exegesis.

15

There are certain desires, confined to the soul, which, as soon as we have allowed them to grow, insist upon being gratified, whatever the consequence may be.

I was surrounded by a dozen men. They first degraded me with nasty remarks. Then they started touching me. One guy touched my shoulder. Seeing that I offered no resistance, another caressed my bare legs. Within a few minutes, another emboldened predator pinched my nipples through my top and then another person from behind me lifted up my skirt, revealing my bare pussy and ass. I was now sandwiched and I had no way to escape. The thought that I was going to be gang banged ran through my mind. I thought they were going to strip me completely naked in the middle of the street, take me by a leash and publicly humiliate me like they did in those ancient times.

Besides being a slut, I’m an avid reader. Right now I’m reading the works of Walter Benjamin, the collected works of Carl Jung, classical erotica written by Anais Nin, etc. I love reading, and when I’m not reading the life and experience of others, being as old as I am now, I want to experience life. I want to live life to the fullest.

My dom watched me from the car. Our eyes met and with my hands I desperately peeled away the crowd and ran toward the car. The vibrator that was stuck inside my pussy fell off and all the men behind me were laughing hysterically. I was humiliated, shocked, horrified. The whole episode left me badly shaken. I had been introduced to a seamy, seedy, tenebrous side of sexual life that I had not known existed before—the excitement of being a real whore. At that moment I became so horny I had trouble standing on my legs, not to mention walking. I would have crawled back with my ass and pussy fully exposed.

Thinking back now, I might have had a mini orgasm as soon as I ran toward the car.

I pulled on the car door but my dom had locked the door and I was holding the vibrator with one hand and banging on the window with the other. After a few minutes of me pitifully begging he finally relented and let me back inside and as soon as I was in the safety of my car I masturbated myself and cummed the most hardest cumming I ever did.

At that moment, with my fingers on my clit and my other hand rubbing my nipples, on the backseat of my dom’s sedan, I felt completely isolated, and with a moat or lacuna or sexual tension all surrounding me I lost myself in an island of bliss. I was then a woman without a past or a future. I lived in a single moment of being, in bliss, in ecstasy, in pure freedom.

Outside the car window the men had followed me and were watching me. They stared and hollered and growled and yet their existence became to me mere reduction s disconnected, incoherent flux of spatial phases and temporal aberrations.

My dom drove me off and as we drove off the men behind the car became distant shadows.

After I went home, I masturbated myself several more times recollecting all that had happened. And then, I got on my knees, crawled to my dom, thanked him, and rubbed my pussy against his legs until I cummed again. I have never felt happier and I had never experienced so much sexual freedom as I was enjoying then.

“A book has gone the rounds of the pension. When it came her turn to read it, she did so with profound astonishment. She felt moved to read the book in secret and solitude, though none of the others had done so—to hide it from view at the sound of approaching foot steps.” – Kate Chopin, the Awakening

And this is how I’m as I read everything that I have written—as if they were the samizdat literature in the Soviet union; with flushed cheeks and burning shame, I secretly browse through those lustful words which cut and slice through my soul with an indescribable oppression arising out of the most unfamiliar part of my consciousness or unconsciousness, of innermost Jungian archetypes of deepest repose and entia or ens realissimum of most mysterious refreshment …

Confession of a slutty Asian mother:

I

I have been drinking my son’s cum.

I’m a single mother living with my 18 year old son. I’ve been very sexually frustrated after my divorce and I frequently masturbated myself with a dildo inside my room and I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated.

How it all started:

A few months ago when I went to clean his room I noticed one of my panties was under his desk and it was covered in dried cum. I picked it up and put it under my nose and smelled it. The smell was intoxicating to me. I didn’t say anything to him about my discovery and continued to let him have the freedom to cum on my panties. Sometimes I intentionally wore the panties with my son’s fresh cum on them. It turned me on like crazy and I would have the most powerful orgasm later when I fucked myself, knowing that I’ve been wearing cum-laden panties.

Because of my free rein on my son’s behavior, he has seemingly become more emboldened. He not only cummed in my panties, but also on my bras, my dress, my skirt, etc. As always, I pretended not to notice and simply wore whatever piece of clothing that had his dried cum on them and washed the cum off later. It seriously turned me on knowing that I’ve been wearing clothing with my son’s cum on them.

How it escalated:

One morning, my son told me he made coffee and carried a cup to me directly. It was unusual for him to make coffee and as I drank it, he stared at me with the most strange excitement. I stared back at him

cluelessly and when I tasted a trace of his cum in my coffee, I shuddered and everything became clear to me. But once again I pretended not to know what he was doing.

Later that evening he carried a glass of milk to my room and told me it’s good to have milk before sleep. I could see the wild excitement on his face as I drank his milk. He asked me how does his milk taste, and, collecting myself and keeping my composure and acting like I was completely oblivious, I told him that his milk tasted very sweet and mommy loved it.

I don’t know if it’s my pretending to not to know or what but he’s been getting more and more flagrant. When he made coffee in the morning, he’d ask me if my coffee tasted different and I said no. Then the next day he carried my coffee cup into the bathroom and came out and I could clearly see white gluey cum in my coffee and he even told me that he added his special sweetener in my coffee just for me because “I love you, mom.”

I drank his cum laced coffee as usual and patted on his head and I said that he’s a good boy. Inside though, I started to shake and wonder whether at some point he’s going to want to deposit his cum inside me directly.

My son cums on my dildo.

The other day I as usual came back from work and while my son was still in school (he goes to college and it’s ten minutes from where we live) and I thought I’d spend a little me time and so I took out my dildo and was about to fuck myself with it but before I did it I realized my dildo was covered in some sort of goo. It was semi-transparent and a little milky. I always washed my dildo after each use and so maybe I forgot to wash them? Sometimes I also put KY jelly on it and so maybe it was KY jelly and I didn’t think too much about it and brought it to the sink and washed it off with soap water.

But the more I thought about it, the more confused I was. There was still a tiny residue of the same goo in the plastic container which I used to keep my dildo. I used my finger and swiped a little bit of it and brought it to my nose. It didn’t smell anything. Then I touched it with my tongue. It had a sweet-bitter taste and at that point a sudden flash came to my mind and I realized it was my son’s cum.

My son had cummed on my dildo, the same dildo that I have been sticking inside my mouth and my vagina. My stomach knotted and my head felt heavy. My heart was palpitating. I wondered if it was the first time he’s done it. And yet just after a few seconds after the initial confusion, shock, and terror, I was flushed from head to toe with a rush of horniness. Oh god my son wants me to masturbate with his cum. The thought made me so horny my face was contorted in agony and without consciously making any decision my hands started rubbing my nipples which were hard like rocks and then I scooped up the rest of the cum and put it in my mouth and I licked it hungrily, like a shameless slut.

I couldn’t wait anymore. I rushed to strip off my jeans and panties and stuck the dildo in my vagina. OMG my son wants me to masturbate with my dildo that is stained with his cum. I felt bad that I had washed off his cum instead of licking them cleaning. And yet I felt scared knowing that at any point I could have been accidentally sticking my son’s cum inside my pussy. All this was making me really confused and yet so horny after just a few thrusts with my dildo I ended up having a really nice orgasm from fucking myself.

I decided from then on when I masturbated at night, I could leave the door to my bedroom slightly open so that my son could see me masturbating if he wishes. Instead of just hearing it.

II

My son has been filming me masturbate and sharing those videos of me with his classmates

I’m a single mother living with my 18 year old son. I’ve been very sexually frustrated after my divorce and I frequently masturbated myself with a dildo inside my room and I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated.

My son is a virgin, and I understand at his age, he is equally sexually frustrated and I have not been stopping him when he wanted to explore his sexuality with me. In addition to letting him cum on my stuffs such as my panties, dildo, food and drinks, I have been letting him touch all over me, such as fondling my breasts, slapping my ass, etc. This could happen at any time. When I’m cooking, he would hug me from behind and start to massage my breasts. Or when I’m taking a shower, he would barge in and slap my ass. At some time he even tried to play with my pussy and I stopped him, fearing it getting too out of hand.

I also started to masturbate with the door to my bed room open so he could see me. I feel, as a growing boy, he shouldn’t feel any mystery about women. He is curious about females, and I make sure to satisfy all his curiosity.

What I didn’t know is that he has been taking pictures and videos of me naked, including when I masturbated, and sharing them with his classmates in college. Lots of those pictures included very out of focus shots of my nipples, ass, and vagina. In some of the videos you could clearly hear me moaning and my vibrator buzzing, but because it’s dark, you can hardly see what I was doing. Nonetheless, being horny 18 to 19 year olds, all his classmates have been calling me “slut”, “whore”, “cum dump”, and, most importantly, “A fucking sexy MILF”. My son even told them that I’ve been masturbating nearly every night and he’s been cumming inside my coffee and milk for me to drink.

In that chat messages, they are all suggesting to my son that they wanted to fuck me, and that he should been sharing his “slutty mother with everyone”. My son had also shared normal pictures of me with them, with my face fully exposed, and they all complimented, in their teenage ways, about how “fucking hot” I am, and how desperate they all are to fuck me.

I cannot tell you just how turned on I am when I saw those messages and then at what they further discussed as their plan for me. My son had asked them all to come to our house this weekend “to hang out and greet my sexy Asian mother” and then, “she has a water bottle that she brings to work with her. If you guys want, you can all masturbate inside her water bottle, and let her drink your cum.”

Initially when I saw this, I felt he is going too far. I wanted to tell him that he shouldn’t be objectifying women just this. He definitely shouldn’t be pimping his mother out to strangers, and yet the more I thought about how I was being objectified, treated like a sex toy by those horny boys, the more turned on I was and I even woke up in the middle of the night one day fingering my pussy and playing with my nipples. My naked body was convulsing with fear, excitement, and the strangest sexual satisfaction I ever had as I rubbed my clit to an orgasm thinking about the fact that very soon, I will not just be drinking my son’s cum, but also about lots of other boys’ virile cum.

I wonder what their cum would taste like, whether theirs will be just as sweet as my son’s cum. Of all the men that I’ve been with before, I have never swallowed their cum, because they felt bitter and I felt disgusted, and my son had changed all this. His cum was so sweet and I couldn’t stop drinking his cum. My son is about to turn me into a cum guzzling slut and there is nothing I can do to stop him. I just hope they don’t eventually decide to gang bang me at some point.

I played strip poker with my son and then it turned into very sexualized truth or dare.

On Friday evening, my son said he wanted to teach me how to play poker and I jumped at the opportunity, thinking it was a great way to bond with my son. It turned out that my son wanted to add some excitement to the game and wanted to play strip poker.

Being a novice, I quickly lost all my clothes and was sitting there in my bra and panties and blushing as my son talked about how all the guys at his college liked Asian girls and how they all tell him that he is lucky to have a hot Asian mother.

After another round I lost again and I had to take off my bra and sat there with my bare breasts. I didn’t think it was a big deal after all since he is my son and I felt no shame in baring myself in front of him.

Then after another round I lost again and I had to remove my panties, but that meant that was my last piece of clothing and so I had to stop playing, but my son said that he wanted to continue, and if I lose again, he will have to attach clothespins to my body as punishment.

Initially he put clothespins on my arms and thighs, but pretty soon they were covered with clothespins and so he started to put them on my toes. But eventually all my toes were covered with clothespins too and I had no choice but to allow my son to put clothespins on my chest. If you lose again mom, I’m going to clamp your nipples. And lose I did. I sat there covered with clothespins from head to toe and I begged my son to stop. “mommy can’t take any more punishment”. Especially with the clothespins on my nipples. Those made me so sensitive and I felt my pussy was tingling and getting wet as well.

He took off all the clothespins on my body but he was having too much fun to stop and he said he wanted to play truth or dare if I lost again.

For truth, my son asked me very intimate, sexual questions such as, “how many cocks have you sucked on before you married my dad?” “Do you spit or swallow?” “How often have you been masturbating after divorce?” “Do you have wet dreams? And what kind of content are in your wet dreams?”

And I answered all his questions as truthfully as I can. “I have three boyfriends before I married your dad.” “I don’t swallow.” “I masturbate nearly before I go to bed. Mommy is a still young and has a lot of need.” “I often fantasized of having sex with men.”

He followed by commenting if they were white cocks or blacks cock, what was the biggest cock that I’ve ever fucked, if I can deepthroat, and why I never learned to swallow. I was incredibly humiliated and yet turned on at the same time, especially given that I was sitting there completely naked. He even told me, “Good girls always swallow, did you know that, mom? Someone should teach you how to swallow cum, don’t you agree?” My face was literally hot to the touch at his comment and the smirk on his face.

My son spanked my ass until I had an orgasm:

The dare part was equally sexual. He dared me to let him spank me. Even though I didn’t admit it, but I was nearly having a micro orgasm when he spanked me. I know I was flirting with crossing the ethical boundary but I was so horny and happy my mind was literally being fried. At the end of the night he dared me to be hogtied. My son used some cable to tie my hands and feet together and he pretended to be a cowboy and I was his hog. But when he tried to put clothespins on my clit, I refused. While I’m comfortable with my son playing with my breasts, I felt weird letting my son touch my clit.

By then was 4 AM and my son felt asleep with his head buried in my breasts. Right before the onset of sleep my son casually said that on Saturday evening he’s going to invite some friends from college over and play strip poker with me. “All my friends want to meet my sexy mother.” That was his original words.

My heart palpitated at those words and I wanted to know further details about what they wanted to do, but he was already dozing off to sleep. I wanted to tell him no, I don’t want to play strip poker with your friends. I don’t want to be naked in front of strangers, but he was already asleep. The more I thought about it, the more excited I was. I felt an inner sweetness, a vitality flowing through my entire body, knowing that despite of being 40, I’m still so valued as a woman and for my sexiness. Perhaps it’s good that he had fallen asleep and I didn’t have a chance to tell him no. Because deep inside, I think I know, that I actually wanted this.

Things escalated quickly after my son brought me a dog collar and a leash for my birthday.

All the things that were happening made my head dizzy. I wondered how I had come to this point. I wondered where did it all start, how it started, and why it started. My son had fallen asleep in my breasts, and yet I remained fully awake at 4 AM, the thoughts that a few 18 to 19 year old college boys would be coming soon to my home, and perhaps play strip poker with me, or perhaps find other ways to sexually humiliate me.

I started to recollect, on my last birthday—after my divorce. I know I should have declined. I know I should have, instead of following in obedience to my contradictory impulses and immoral desires which impelled me, refused.

My son had brought me a dog collar and a leash and wished me a happy birthday. We didn’t even have a pet dog and I thought that maybe he meant that he would like a dog, but then he said that he brought those for me. He said ever since dad left us, I’ve been very lonely and he knows how sexually frustrated I am, and he also said that “dad said when you were with him, you liked wearing dog collar and leash during sex.”

At the time I was horrified and vehemently denied those allegations from my ex husband and I acted like I was extremely offended and told him that a good boy shouldn’t be thinking about those dirty thoughts about women, and especially so because I was his mother. I berated him the whole day and told him to never speak like that to me ever again.

Nonetheless, I was incredibly turned on (my pussy has literally been on fire every day since) and I actually started to masturbate wearing the dog collar and the leash that my son had brought for me. The fact that my son brought those for me made it even hotter. I wore the dog collar and leash to sleep every night. I also started to leave my bed room door fully open at night so my son could see that I’ve been using his gift when I masturbated. Also, my son can now come to my bedroom in the middle of the night if he wished.

A certain light was becoming to dawn dimply with me—a light which, showing and paving the way to depravity, was forbidden.

One day, after I’ve done my pre-sleep ritual and was about to dose off to sleep, I felt a pair of hands on my breasts, and the hands were so soft and so gentle they felt so good on my body I continued to pretend to be asleep and let him fondle my breasts, and I cooperated by moaning nicely for him. Then I felt his fingers inside my pussy and almost instantly I was hit with an orgasm. I moaned really loud and almost screamed and then the fingers were gone.

The next day my son asked if I slept well last night because he heard me screaming in the middle of the night, all the while grinning at me. I was blushing really heavily and I told him that I dreamed of his father last night, and then he said, “I miss him too. I wish he could come to visit us again.”

It then became an unsaid pact between my son and me from that day on. Whenever I went to sleep, I could strip completely naked, put on his dog collar and leash and pretend to be asleep. Then my son would sneak in and masturbate me. Sometimes he used his fingers. Sometimes he used my dildos. And for some reason that is still very unclear to me, he has such amazing capabilities that nearly as soon as he touches me, I’m already on the verge of orgasm, and he has been able to masturbate me to multiple orgasms on several occasions.

After a week, I started wearing my son’s dog collar and leash around the house and walked in front of him fully naked.

Even when I go outside for grocery shopping, I wear the dog collar and leash. As long as I’m with my son, I wear them, to show that he is my owner and I belong to him as his “bitch in heat,” as my son liked to call me. This has increased the bond between us as we frequently went lingerie shopping together, as well as to adult toys stores where he picks out dildos and other sex toys for me to try on.

Before you call me crazy, I have to tell you I do draw the line at actual sex with my son. I’m very clear on that. He is allowed to touch my breasts, play with my pussy, fuck me with a dildo, but he is not allowed to ever stick his penis inside my pussy.

Maybe it’s precisely because of the strictly “platonic” friendship that I have with my son (platonic in the sense if I can be intimate with him, I will never allow him to actually have sex with me) he finds other ways to satisfy his cravings for the female sex. The other day, for instance, while we were shopping he said that I’d look so much sexier if I took off my bra and panties. I told him mommy is a very respectable lady and doesn’t do that in public. “Then how come daddy always calls you a slut.” I said “because mommy is only a slut for her man. She doesn’t act slutty in front of strangers.” And he asked if he were my man, and I said, “of course honey, you are my man. You are the love of my love.”

“And if I want you to be slutty, you will, right mommy?” To which question I remained silent.

I didn’t know how to respond to it. I averted my eyes and walked in silence. My relationship with my son is seriously wrong, and yet I can’t stop. I wonder if I’m a bad mom. My son doesn’t get any sex from school, and he says he is very frustrated sexually and being the only female around him, I feel it’s necessary for me to provide him as much as I could. I don’t know. My mind is a mess right now.

The beginning of a new world is necessarily, messy, vague, chaotic and exceedingly disturbing.

III

My son is turning me into an exhibitionist slut.

I’m a single mother living with my 18 year old son. I’ve been very sexually frustrated after my divorce and I frequently masturbated myself with a dildo inside my room and I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated.

On Saturday evening my son invited a few friends from his college to come and hang out at our place. They were all very cordial and invited me to sit with them. I put on my nicest clothes, a tight mini skirt and a very low cut blouse and showed off all my best asset. I suppose my slutty dress made it very obvious to them that I was very sexually aroused.

Being college aged boys, it was natural when the conversation turned to girls. They all bitterly complained about “how stuck up the girls are at school”, how “none of them are willing to fuck”, and then my son chimed in and said what about “dating older chicks”, and I don’t know if it was the alcohol in the punch or what, my son started saying how “sexually frustrated my mother is” and how “she masturbates nearly every night.”

My face was blushing red all the way to my neck and I tried to explain that mommy has her needs after daddy left us. “It’s very normal for a woman approaching her 40s.” And I can’t deny that I was incredibly turned on at that point, being talked to by a few young men like I was some sort of a sex toy. My nipples were poking holes and I felt my thighs tighten and my pussy getting wet. I really wanted to pee and excused myself to use the bathroom. That was when my son said, “why use the bathroom to pee? Show us how you pee right here.”

I was horrified and then the other boys said, “Yeah. I have never seen a girl pee. Please show us miss.” Another one said, “Please miss. It will be a great education for us.”

I don’t know what has gotten me. I was persuaded! I used the champagne glass on the kitchen counter, placed it on the floor. I squatted down on the floor, hitched my skirt up to my waist and pissed into the champagne glass. The gold liquid looked like beer.

Then I stood up and held the champagne glass full of my own piss and my skirt was still hitched to my waist and I was so embarrassed and turned on at the same time and it was at this point that my son walked over to me, slapped my bare ass from behind and told me to “drink it up slut.” I shook my head and begged him “Please don’t make me do it here. And please don’t call me a slut. You are humiliating me.” All the boys watched me and my son with their mouths open and jaws dropped. Then my son told me to go to my room and wait for him to punish me. I couldn’t believe this was happening and yet I was so horny as soon as I was in my room I started to masturbate myself and I had the most intense orgasm I’ve ever known in my entire life. The shame, the humiliation, the degradation were washing all over me. I was so loud I was pretty sure that my son and his friends heard me and I even faintly heard one of the guys saying, “Wow, your mom is such a slut. Can we fuck her?” “Don’t be a dick head.” “You are so lucky to have a slut for a mother.”

When I heard this, I really wanted to shout back, if I had my son’s permission, I’d totally do it, but I was too scared and I just cowered in my bed and touched myself and tears were running down both ends of me. The glass full of my own piss was still sitting on the night stand. My pussy was crying, and for some reason, all the emotions made my eyes moist, though the tears were not of sorrow, but of immense happiness, an indescribable supreme happiness that I never knew I was capable of.

Later that night after all his friends left, my son came to my room, made me put on his collar and leash and whipped my bare ass with a belt until I was a crying, sobbing mess. He said he wanted to fuck me, but I said no, because he is my son, and this is my red line. I cannot have sex with my own son. Then he said he wanted all his friends to gang bang me. I didn’t say anything. A very evil smile came over his face when he didn’t hear me say anything and he continued, “but before I do that, I need to make you a piss whore. I need to train you to drink your own piss. And then you are going to perform in front of my friends. I’m going to take you to bars and you are going to piss in front of a crowd, then drink your own piss.”

As he was saying all of this, he was twisting my clit and I exploded in another orgasm. I couldn’t believe that I have been turned into a sex slave by my own son and yet I couldn’t stop having orgasm after orgasm after orgasm.

Later that evening, completely naked, kneeling on the floor, I drank my own piss from the champaigne glass, and my son snatched a picture of me doing that. He then sent the picture of all his friends with the caption, I Made My My Slutty Asian Mother Drink Her Own Piss.

IV

My son gave me a huge dildo covered with spikes as a present and wanted me to masturbate for him.

I’m a single mother living with my 18 year old son. I’ve been very sexually frustrated after my divorce and I frequently masturbated myself with a dildo inside my room and I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated.

My son said he brought it with his own money which he made working part time at the college gym. Not only that, but this was actually supposed to be an anal dildo. I was so disgusted. How could you do this to your own mother! I almost wanted to shout at him, but then I lowered my head in shame and accepted what it already is. I’ve been drinking my son’s cum nearly everyday now. I’ve been letting my son touching every part of my body, my breasts, my ass, and just yesterday I let my son play with my pussy; which previously I had told myself that that was my hard limit, and yet I relented. My son spanked me to orgasm. I wear a dog collar and a leash around the house. I even drank my own piss in front of my son and let him take pictures for his friends to look at. I’m no longer standing on any moral ground to lecture him anymore. In fact, my son has stopped calling me “mom” a long time ago. He addresses me as “slut”, which is actually the least degrading nickname he has given me. He has called me “cum dump”, “slut slave”, “whore”, “cum pig”, etc.

The voice of the inner slut inside me spoke to my soul and her voice was sensuous, enticing, and it enveloped me in its soft, close embrace/

I slid my panties down to my ankles and put the dildo to my pussy. It was so huge, so much bigger than the dildo I used to. My son’s eyes were big and round and were staring at me lasciviously. I told him it’s too big and he said, I haven’t even tried. I pushed the tip of it in, and the first spike was touching my vaginal opening. My son told me to“Try harder, slut!” I pushed it in more and a few spikes disappeared into my pussy. It felt painful.

Then my son shouted, “Let me help you.” He grabbed hold of it, shoved it in roughly and I almost cried. I begged him to be gentle and I said I will try my best. Slowly, I guided the rest of the dildo inside my vagina. It was splitting me apart and my pussy was on fire. Then the vibration started. I was in a trance. It felt nice, I won’t deny. Then I heard the click of the iphone. Pictures were taken. My son grinned and said, next time, this dildo is going into my ass. And afterward, looking at my stretched out pussy, he remarked, “Your pussy is gaped beyond recognition,” treating me as if I was his personal property which had suffered some damage.

I don’t know how, but I have become the slut slave of my own son.

V

My son took me to a BDSM club.

I’m a single mother living with my 18 year old son. I’ve been very sexually frustrated after my divorce and I frequently masturbated myself with a dildo inside my room and I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated.

A lot of people ask me if I’m so horny all the time, why didn’t I just get a boyfriend? I have often wondered it myself. But the thing is, because of my son, I actually can’t. My son forbade me to have a boyfriend. He has repeatedly told me that my body belonged to him, and no one else is allowed to touch me, become intimate with me, or share my love without his permission. He knows, of course, that I get very sexually frustrated as a single mother. The only way I coped with my excess of sexual energy was through masturbation and drinking my son’s cum. Perhaps it is the masochist instinct inside me. In addition to making me drink his cum, my son has found many other ways to humiliate me and degrade me, which turned me on immensely, and all of which made me feel loved and cherished.

Being forbidden by my son to have sexual intercourse with other men has had a deleterious effect on my psychology and eventually made me into what I could not fully understand myself either.

And in exchange, I forbid my son to tell anyone else about what he has seen or what he has done to his own mother. I told him that mommy would die of shame if he told anyone else.

To a large extent this is my own fault. It’s my fault for being a slut. Whenever my son and I went outside, I always loved dressing really slutty (tight mini skirt without panties, collar necklace and braless romper) and I loved the fact that men were lavishing attention on me. A lot of men flirted with me and I always flirted back.

One time, before this whole debacle started, a guy mistook me for my son’s girlfriend. We were eating in a restaurant and a guy came over and he asked my son “So how did you meet your gorgeous girlfriend?” My son was mortified at the time. He was ashamed me. But I was really flattered. We talked and I gave the guy my number and later that night I ended up having one night stand with him. When I went home later my son was furious with me. He told me he is the man of the house and he has control over me and if I have sex with other men, I must inform him. I felt bad for my son and I tried my best to be a better mother.

Over the next several years he interrogated me about the man. How did you have sex with him? Orally? Vaginally? Anally? Did you wear condom? How big was his cock?

I promised my son afterward that I would never fuck a man without his consent.

But I was constantly horny … started to watch a lot of porn, especially SM porn, to get myself. Initially I tried sneaking around in the middle of the night watching porn but my son had caught me doing that on numerous occasions. I was extremely embarrassed, but after the initial embarrassment, I felt, instead of hiding and suppressing my desires, I might as well let my son might join me. I know he watched porn on his computer in his room. Of course he did. He’s 18. As an older, maturer woman, I need to give guidance to my son on sex. I told him about female desires, consent, differences between male and female sexuality, SM, etc. I told my son not allowing mommy to have sex with men is very cruel. Mommy is a biological female and she needs a man’s cock to make herself feel good. I also told him that some women are born masochists and derive immense pleasure from being beaten, humiliated, spanked, etc.

My son was very interested in BDSM and I felt it was a great way to bond and release my sexual energy because BDSM didn’t have to involve sex, so when my son suggested taking me to a BDSM club, I thought it might be a good opportunity for a sex education.

But it would be way too weird to let people know that we are related, so we decided that at the event, if anyone asks, I’m his girlfriend and he’s my boyfriend. And he is my dom and I’m his submissive. I actually felt really proud knowing that at the age of 40, I can still pass as a 20 year old.

I put on my sexiest clothes/makeup: my fuck me high heels, black mini skirt, a low cut blouse. My son wore a suit and a tie and he looked so adorable. We went to the event and as soon as I walked in, a lot of men were staring at me. My son wrapped his arm around mine and I was super excited.

As we walked around and saw the activities (mostly of females being spanked, flogged, and punished) I told my son about the female needs and how normal it is. It’s not like mommy is very kinky or perverted, I whispered.

I was accosted by a handsome young man who introduced himself as a professional dom. “I gave obedience training to slaves,” he said, with the permission of my master, he would like to give us a presentation, with me being the subject.

I looked over at my son and asked for his permission. He nodded and I was elated.

The young man led me to his set. As soon as I stood on the stage, a lot of horny guys gathered around to watch me. My blouse was lifted and my breasts were exposed. Then my panties were pulled down over my knees. He attached two big, steel alligator clamps to my nipples, then two more alligator clamps to my pussy lips. My hands were tied to the two sides of some bars. Then I was asked a series of very embarrassing questions: Are you an obedient slut? Do you let your master fuck you in the ass? Do you suck his cock and swallow his cum whenever he demands. I shook my head at each question and the guy lifted my skirt from behind and spanked me after each time I answered no. I was in a hot mess, and it got even worse. Another clamp was put on my nose. In order to breathe, I had to stick out my tongue, and when my mouth opened, a big clamp was put on my tongue. Unable to draw my tongue back, I was drooling like a dog.

Then the electricity started. I felt voltage going across my entire body from my tongue, my nipples, and my pussy lips to my heart. It was painful and very scary. I squirmed and screamed and had a mini orgasm each time the electricity was started. This lasted for an entire hour, and I was asked if from now on, I will be an obedient slut to my master and I nodded vehemently to avoid being punished again. At one point my son was asked to come to administer the punishment to me, and I shook my head like crazy and I almost wanted to tell them that he is not my dom. He is actually my son.

The young man even told my son that if he wishes, he can have train his slave trained for free. They exchanged numbers. I was released from my ordeal and we continued to walk around the club.

I was thoroughly humiliated and I know this was so wrong but I couldn’t control my horniness. I walked meekly behind my son, with my head lowered submissively.

We came to another set and this was a wooden pony with a dildo on its seat. I asked my son if I had his permission to ride it, like I was a school girl asking her daddy’s permission. My son nodded and I got on the horse. I was stripped completely naked. All my clothes, including my shoes, were handed over to my son. Two muscular guys tied my arms behind my back and lifted me onto the horse. The dildo was inserted into my vagina, and my feet and ankles were strapped to some device to hold me in position. Then slowly the horse started moving and I felt the dildo was vibrating and going in and out of my vagina. After a few seconds it went at full speed. I was moaning and then screaming in pleasure. All the guys watched and clapped as I cried out in pleasure.

After the ride, I was now completely naked with my hands tied behind my back and my son tugged on my collar and leash and continued walking. He carried my clothes and soon we were at the exit. The door was opened and I was pushed completely naked into the parking lot. It was dark and no one saw me except for the few guys from the club. A man greeted my son and asked him how old he was. He said he’s 18 and then he asked how old is his slave, meaning me, and he answered for me. She’s 40. The guy said, damn, old cow slut and whistled at me. “She’d probably be old enough to be your mom. I guess she likes young cock?” Then my son said he doesn’t fuck me. “She’s just my slave.”

I was in a trance from all the sexual excitement that was happening.

Once we were at home, I thought we needed to discuss some boundaries. My son told me that I can fuck other men, but only the men that he approves. He will be my pimp and determine which men can fuck me. But he must be present at all times. That is, he gets to watch when I’m being fucked. In addition, no men is not allowed to fuck me vaginally. They are allowed to fuck me anally, orally, and they can even cum inside me, but my vagina must never be allowed to have another man’s cock inside there. He told me a mother’s vagina is a holy place, it’s the place where he came from, and I must never be allowed to desecrate the holy site, not even myself.

And with that said, he continued, that I’m no longer allowed to masturbate myself vaginally either. I can only stick my dildo inside my ass or my mouth.

I’m not allowed to touch my own clit either. Only my son is allowed to touch it.

VI

My son is seriously considering pimping me out to other men for sex.

I’m a single mother living with my 18 yo son. I’ve been very sexually frustrated after my divorce and I frequently masturbated myself with a dildo inside my room and I knew my son could hear my moans as I masturbated.

This is the conversation I saw on my son’s phone with a few of his classmates.

Guy #1: Dude, your mom is such a slut. It’s a shame you are not letting other guys fucking her.

My son: Well, her pussy belongs to me.

Guy #1: You can at least let some of us fuck her anally and orally. Just tape her pussy shut with a duct tape.

Guy #2: I’ll pay u 1000 dollars if you let me fuck your mom in the ass.

Guy #3: I’ll pay if you just let her give me a strip tease, or even just touching her boobs.

My son: Let me think about it. I have to get her consent as well.

Guy#1: she lets you cum in her coffee and she drank her own piss the other day. She’s a slut. She will do anything.

Guy#4: Can you take another pic of her pussy please! OMG, I want your mom so bad.

My son: Well, I want to actually watch her being fucked too, but it feels so weird to be in the same room when she gets fucked by other guys.

Guy #1: You can install a double mirror inside her bed room, so when she gets fucked, you can watch her from the other room, and she won’t even know.

…

The conversation went on and on. As I read those naughty, degrading comments about me, both my clit and heart were throbbing with excitement and my whole body was burning with lust. I actually wanted to tell my son, yes, mommy is totally okay with being pimped out to other men. Mommy will do anything for you. And at the same time I’m also scared. I’m scared that things may go too out of hand. I desperately wanted to rub my clit and I also knew I was no longer allowed to. I have to wait for my son to rub my clit and touch my pussy. Every day so far my life is now completely consumed by lust. I can’t think of anything else.

Every night before sleep, I lay completely naked in my bed, and wait for my son. He comes in, casually crouches between my crotch and flicks my clit with his finger, and he says how disgusted he is with me, how ashamed he is to have a mother who is constantly horny and wants to get fucked. “I might as well make you fuck other men for money, you old cow. What do you think?” I remained silent, unable to speak, as one orgasm after another builds up inside my body. Energy flowed through my entire body from head to toe. My toes curled, and my head tilted backward in bliss.

Just as he stretched and twisted my pussy lips, he very casually told me that tomorrow a guy is coming over to fuck me. He’s only going to fuck me anally, and I better be prepared, so “no food the whole day tomorrow, and give yourself an enema before he comes. I don’t want a mess. Also, I’m going to tape your pussy shut with some duct tape so he doesn’t cum inside your cunt.”

My heart literally jumped to my throat at those words, and yet I couldn’t even start to describe how turned on by all this, by the way I was talked down to like I was a pet, a fuck toy, a slut. My mouth became dry and my hands trembled and yet my nipples were hard like little marbles and my pussy was tightening and convulsing and ready to suck his fingers into me.

But he wasn’t done. He said he want me to start learning stripteasing and wants me to enroll in some classes. Afterward, he said, he wants me to perform professionally in a strip club. “There’s this all nude strip club on the outskirt of town. I want to see you go up on that stage and show your pussy to all the horny men out there and make a few bucks. Instead of just leeching off my dad’s alimony.”

I told my son: “But mommy is old. Not a lot of men are interested in an old woman like me.”

My son said, “Don’t worry. All my classmates said if you perform there, they will go there every time you work and tip you. They all want lap dances from you. They think you are really hot and slutty.”

The whole night I couldn’t sleep. Images, wild images, thoughts, crazy thoughts keep on floating before my mind. What has become of me? Am I unfortunate? Am I crazy? Or am I extremely lucky? My whole life I have never been as turned on as I am now. My whole life, I have realized, I have never even come to realize how amazing sex can be until this point. My son changed me. And I seriously couldn’t wait to let my son explore more of my sexuality. Take control of me. Slut me out. And enslave me.

My son: “Dude, I’m telling you. My mom is an insatiable cum slut. She’s desperate for cocks. I told her I’m going to pimp her out and she got super excited. Her pussy got really wet. I’m really going to do it.”

Guy #1: “You are going to be rich pimping your mom out. She’s hot as fuck and she’s going to make you a fortune. You are the luckiest bastard on earth, I’m tellin’yo man.”

My son: “I want to parade her naked around the town, with bells tied to her tits and pussy and let everyone know what a slut she is.”

Guy #2: “Do it! I’m serious. You can do it during the pride parade. Those guys are kinky as hell and you can get away with anything. Seriously.”

My son: “I think I will.”

It started after my son filled my squirting dildo full of hot sauce. …

It’s actually quite difficult for me to write all this, to re-live through what I have suffered. And by publicizing all this for the world to see I’m shamelessly admitting that I actually enjoyed what happened to me. Until just now I have tried to steer clear of even thinking about it. I’m still very ashamed of myself … maybe it helps writing them down, and even if not … at the very least … men will be turned on by what I write, and I love the idea of exposing myself for being the depraved Asian slut that I’ve been my entire life.

Ever since my husband and I divorced, I’ve been very sexually frustrated. My Asian pussy ached for penetration and abuse from big white cocks and so once again I started meeting men for sex. And even when I was not meeting them for sex, I put on masturbation shows online for men on webcam to show them how horny and slutty I was.

On several occasions my son—who was now 19 years old, currently attending college—walked in on me as I was fucking myself with my squirting dildo. Unlike traditional Asian mothers, I was very sex-positive and did not mind my son watching me masturbate. So, I let him watch. I also walked around the house naked to show him what a real Asian woman looked like. But I did tell him to stop barging in like that. I told him, if you want to see mommy masturbate for all the white men, you need to let me know before hand. And he was free to masturbate himself as he watched me. But he was not allowed to touch me.

Sometimes I feel sad for my son, because, despite of being only half Asian, he inherited that half of the Asian genes down below. His penis is only three inches when fully erect and his testicles are very small and as a consequence, when he cums, he only dribbles. All the white men I’ve been with are way bigger and cum in far more copious amount.

But what I didn’t expect was, while he had inherited the physical characteristics of an Asian penis, he is also without the honest and radiant personality of a happy white man and his mind is deviant like an oriental.

One night I was fucking myself with my dildo for several men who paid to watch me online, and I was near climax and I squeezed on the little bulb attached to the dildo to simulate a cock cumming inside me. I noticed something was wrong because I felt a stinging sensation, and slowly, the sensation morphed into scalding pain deep inside my vagina and it was radiating outward wherever the liquid touched. I pulled the dildo out and saw blood-colored goo on its tip. My mind was in a daze with shock and horror. A moment later, I heard a familiar voice: “How’s that hot sauce in your Asian pussy, you filthy whore! This is to teach you a lesson for being a slut, mom!”

The horror of all that was happening overwhelmed me. I was screaming and shaking. I fell off my chair and rubbed my vagina to squeeze the burning liquid out. I crawled to the bathroom and stuck the shower handle directly into my pussy. I was not just crying. I was wailing. I couldn’t believe my son could do such a thing to me, despite of all the love I showered him. I started cursing—I rarely cursed—and I shouted. I was furious, and also scared.

My son had barged into into the bathroom I was cowering in and I screamed for him to go away. My son screamed back, “I’m trying to help you mom!” He pulled my legs up by my ankles and shoved a few ice cubes into my pussy and then massaged my vagina. Then tapped it. Then spanked it. The ice was stinging me from inside my vagina like wasp stings. “Does that feel better now, mother?” I almost fainted from the pain. Then he connected a rubber hose to the faucet, stuck one end into my pussy and filled it with water. There was water everywhere. Hot sauce, ice cubes, and now ice cold water. I couldn’t believe that my very own son, my flesh and blood, was torturing my pussy like a sadist, and I orgasmed as I screamed, “Please stop!”

“Do you regret being a slut now, mom?” My son slapped my face as he said it. I was a blubbering mess and I nodded, fearful of what my son might do next. “My dad is no longer in the house, and I’m the man, and that means you listen to me. From now on, you are my slut, and you are only allowed to fuck yourself when I tell you. I’m going to let you fuck other men. My dad and I both know you are a g**k slut for white cocks, but only with my permission. You will fuck and suck whomever I tell you to fuck and when I tell you to fuck them. Or else I’m going to find more ways to punish you.”

I couldn’t believe my son was now taking charge of my sexuality and even though I knew what he was doing was wrong—so terribly wrong, I also believed what he was doing was good for me, in a twisted way. I need a man’s protection—a white man’s protection, and my son—being half Asian and half white—was just the man who can protect me and keep me safe. Culturally, he is sensitive to my needs as an Asian woman, and physically, he is powerful and strong like a white man. I obeyed him instinctively.

The beginning of my ordeal … my wanton enjoyment of being a shameless Asian slut with the permission from my son.

For an entire month, my son gave me what he called the “Asian whore challenge”. He said this was the kind of things “they” gave to Asian prostitutes to break their will and how “they” turned those women into sex slaves. I wondered who he meant by “they” and then I shuddered. He meant “Asian men”, the very kind of men that for all my life I’ve been trying to run away from, and now one of them was standing before me, and there was no way for me to escape from him. He is connected to me biologically, spiritually, and genetically. My whole body shook uncontrollably at the realization.

During the challenge, everyday, my son dictated, I need to fuck at least one more person than the previous day. On day 1 of the game, I fuck one person. On day 2, I fuck two persons. On day 3 I fuck three persons and so on and so forth. By the end of first week, on Sunday, I fuck at least 7 persons. In total I fuck at least 32 people in one week. On the last day of the month, I fuck at least 30 persons, withing 24 hours. For the entire month of the challenge, I fucked a total of 465 people. And that was just the number of different people who fucked me, not the number of times I was fucked. I think I was fucked more than a thousand times at least. One guy, for instance, fucked me 12 times in the span of 24 hours.

Initially, I was shocked. I said I couldn’t possibly be able to do this. I begged my son to stop, and I said that he was going to make mommy into a prostitute. And yet he said, that was exactly what he was planning on doing to me all along.

He even threatened that, “if you fail the challenge, I’ll pierce holes in your pussy lips and fix rings and locks over them so you will never be able to fuck again.”

And I had to have sex with all those men while my son watched. And when he was not able to watch in person, say, I was taken on a trip abroad by the wealthy men who brought me to their homes in Norway, I must call him on his phone, facetime him, so he could see me getting fucked. And if I were not able to facetime him, after I was done, I must confess to him how I was fucked, describe to him in detail, and answer any question he might have. Did the guys use condoms? How big were their cocks? Did I cum? Did they fuck you anally? Did they cum in your mouth? My son had also tried to force me to write down in detail every sex session I had. While the sequence of men increased arithmetically, the toll on my body and amount of sex increased geometrically. I simply didn’t have the time to write down everything, and I was extremely exhausted. Sometimes I fell asleep even in the middle of sex sessions. And it was difficult for me to recollect all those events in detail because, very soon, everything became a blur.

And another thing I discovered very soon was trying to think about all that has happened to me started to feel like the recollection of a dream, and none of what I wrote down made sense even to myself. Perhaps this is all a dream, a nightmare fused with my own wet dream, and when I fall asleep, I might be awakened from this strange, erotic nightmare. So the plan to create a play-by-play diary of all my sexual escapade was abandoned, because all my recollections were fragmentary. Sometimes, even what I recollect of the same event on two different days differed wildly from each other, and from this experience I think I finally started to appreciate how all the gospels in the Bible had different versions of the same event. And whenever my stories didn’t match up, my son hit me, yelling at me, telling me to stop lying, I try my best to recollect all my sexual escapades to avoid the beatings …