A year ago I caught my son masturbating to pictures of me in his room. My ex husband and I had a very open lifestyle and I have allowed him to take lots of nude photos of me, and there were also some videos of me which to this day are still circulating on the internet. I’m not proud of what I did and I have since stopped. But my son was able to get hold of some of them. I was concerned, ashamed, and I didn’t know if I should confront my son or not. I’m not particularly strong willed and I didn’t know how to give proper guidance to my son … in the end I decided to pretend not to know.

My son was growing up to become a man (he is 19 years ago now) and so I didn’t want to repress his fledgling interest in sex. He had earphones on and he was stroking his cock, and I just stood there and watched. He was moaning “oh mom” as he cummed and it made me feel happy, knowing that my son was attracted to me. I had been very lonely and my son was the love of my life. I felt strangely excited knowing that my son loved me.

After this initial encounter, my son became more emboldened and would start masturbating in the living room and he would put porn videos on the TV with the loudspeakers on so the entire room vibrated with the sound of sex. He would even find old videos of me having sex with his dad, put it on the TV and watch in front of me. He would ask me, “Hey mom! Do you know who is this hot amateur slut in the video? She looks just like you!”

Usually I would either be vacuuming the room, or mopping the floor, or preparing for dinner as he sat there and mastubated. Sometimes I also sat on the other end of the sofa and watched with him. A few times we even made eye contact and the eye contact made the whole situation even more embarrassing for me but also eerily erotic.

I didn’t answer him directly when he asked me about my sinful, naughty sexual history. I’ve always been a slut and his dad knew it, the guys who used to fuck me in college know it, and several coworkers whom I fucked knew it. I’ve always been submissive and I have a difficult time deciding what to do for myself when I don’t have a man making decisions for me, and my son was the only man in my world. I bit my lips and tacitly approved of his behavior and I always looked down on the floor, ashamed but also turned on. I spoiled my son, and I felt guilty. It’s hard to explain. All the men in my life fucked me, used me, and dumped me, and my son has been the only constant in my life so far and I’m the only female in his life. There is nobody else in this entire universe who is willing to love me and protect me, other than my son.

His cock looked amazing and when he shot his load of cum, I felt mesmerized by how wonderful it looked.

I am not gonna lie I had been so desperate for sexual stimulation. I went through another divorce and I desperately needed something to fill the gaping hole inside my heart, the gaping wound of unfathomable sadness that was eating me alive and the only way that I can put a stopgap to its leakage of despair was with a cock, a big, gorgeous, virile, powerful cock that will stuff me tightly and pump its positive energy to negate my negative energy …

I’m emotionally attached to my son like my life depends on it. I walked around naked in front of him, and I didn’t stop my son when he pinched my nipples, slapped my ass, and played wrestling with me. In fact, I felt proud, as my son showed me how strong he is when he bear-hugged me from behind, and threw me over his shoulders. Around that time my son also developed the habit of twisting my nipples to get concessions out of me. He would reach his hands into my blouse, find my nipples and twist them really hard when he wanted me to do something to me and I let him. “Boys will be boys,” I told myself, “My boy needs a female body to use and abuse,” I told myself. “And better be me, his mom, who will always love him no matter what, than a wild female who might hurt him.”

Eventually my son asked me to suck his cock, and initially I resisted. I told him it’s wrong, but he said, “it’s actually quite normal, ” and he would show me incest videos of moms being fucked by their sons. Some of the videos were fake and had captions on them, with ridiculous dialogues. But he made me watch so much incest videos … initially I was digusted, but knowing that my son was turned on by them made them seem normal … but still … I was conflicted. I felt desired and loved knowing that my son wanted to fuck me.

“But every boy needs to have his sex education,” I told myself. “Better be me, his mom, to teach him about sex, than some ill-intentioned female who will take advantage of your son or even worse … ” I wanted to give my son the best sex education in the world, of course, I did.

So I relented. I took the poisonous bait from those fearful hooks and I put my mouth on my son’s cock. As soon as I put my lips on the mushroom tip of his penis, he started cumming, and ropes after ropes of cum flooded into my mouth. I covered my entire mouth over his cock from the tip to the base of his shaft and I felt his cum gagging down my throat. There was so much cum I choked. I felt like I was drowning in his cum. My son told me, “Oh mom, you are the best cock sucker!” And I felt proud.

Ever since then, I offered blow jobs to my son every day. Initially he could last a few seconds to just a minute or two in my mouth. Then, he started to last longer and I started to let him use my pussy. I told my son that masturbation is not good for you and the only reason mommy is doing this is to stop you from masturbating, and his reply was, “Thanks mom! Rationalize however you want to justify your being a cock hungry slut.”

Maybe I am rationalizing. But otherwise I feel horrible. In the back of my mind, I still think it’s wrong, but it also feels so good I don’t want to stop. Even when I let my son use my pussy, I always scoop his cum out afterward and put it in my mouth.

A few months later I met a guy who later on became my boyfriend. He was a wealthy businessman, and I was his sugar baby. He pays for me and my son’s living expenses and in exchange I have sex with him. His cock was okay, but I still loved my son more. Behind his back I was still fucking my son and one time I almost got caught. My boyfriend came over to see me and my son was balls deep inside my pussy when I heard the front door to our house being opened. I gave him a set of keys to the house. I told my son to pull out quickly and I felt my son’s cum was still leaking out of me as I dressed in a hurry. It was my halter floral dress and when I put it on my breasts were poking holes on the sheer fabric. My boyfriend was pleased that I was so slutty that I didn’t wear bra or panties underneath the dress and played with my nipples as he told me to “get ready to get fucked like the whore you are.” My son was in his bedroom and he could hear everything.

That night my boyfriend fucked me and he said my pussy was so wet and he liked it, not knowing that my son had fucked me just an hour earlier. He was not just fucking me, he was also spanking me, choking me, and slapping my face. I was moaning so loud I’m sure my son could hear me. After about an hour, my boyfriend left the house. I was covered in sweat, cum, and tears. Then my son walked into my room, with a leather belt in his hand. My son whipped me with the belt, then looped it around my neck, and fucked me again. While he was fucking me, he asked me who is a better fuck and without even hesitating, I confessed to my son that he is the best fuck mommy ever had, and no one in this world will ever be able to compare with him.

Since both my son and my boyfriend are fucking me and either of them likes to pull out, I was seriously worried that I might accidentally get pregnant and so I decided to get my tubes tied. It was my son who accompanied me to the hospital to get the procedure done.

But I still keep a pack of condoms in my purse just in case … I don’t even fully know why I bother. My mind is a mess. I always carry a pack of condoms in my purse even though I know that neither my son nor my boyfriend would ever use it.

The fact of the matter is, I’m addicted to hearing my son telling me that my pussy feels so tight on his cock, how much my pussy grips and squeezes his cock, “my mommy’s pussy is like a warm mitten,” my son would gloat to his friends.

On the other hand, I’m also scared. I’m scared that I might be caught one day, but the fear of being caught is what turns me on so much as well. I’m so addicted now I can’t stop, and I don’t know where it leads.

The other night my son asked me if I was willing to have his name tattooed above my pussy mound: “It would look so hot on you, mom! And it would signify to everyone your pussy belongs to me, mom!” But I firmly told him no. I have to set boundaries before this gets out of hand. Being tattooed with his name will be very bad for my boyfriend. He will become suspicious and start asking questions. Even though he is not a jealous man, and he has said before that he doesn’t mind me being a slut, as long as I’m being honest and he gets to share me. I may be a slut, but I’m not crazy, at least not yet.