The adventures of a very depraved Asian mother and her half Asian son

My soul is a consumed by a gentle fire, surrendered to the intoxicating whirlwinds of emotions of love, lust, sinful hunger, fueled by the flames of forbidden love.

I would die of shame if anyone ever find out.

I’m, just as you are, disgusted of myself. I hated myself for the depravity that I stoop myself in. I wish I was not born this way. I wish I was normal. I wish.

Yet this is my life.

So today I sucked my son’s cock while he was on the phone with his girlfriend.

There is this girlfriend my son had met in college that he’s been frequently hooking up with and today while my son and I were having some intimate movements together—I had his entire cock down my throat—his phone rang. It was his girlfriend. He ignored it at first but then she called again. I told my son, “It’s fine, answer it,” and reassured him that I would be quiet.

He pushed my mouth further down on his cock and answered.

I was a bit jealous, to be honest, and I kept trying to make him moan while he was talking to her as I deep throated his cock and intentionally made loud slurping sounds—breaking my promise to him I know—and I could tell she was asking him what that sound was. He brushed it off by saying he was picking something up.

The hottest part was when he told her “I love you” at the exact moment his cum was filling my mouth.

I know I should feel bad but for some reason I just feel turned on by it.

Mommy always knows what her son needs.

Because I truly believe no woman can love my son, can know my son, as intimately, as privately, as much, as I do. And as his mother, it’s my duty to teach him how to please women. But I know, I also know, that, in the end, I’m just a fool, that I’m risking a love that is never meant to be. Even as the flames of our passion burned bright and fierce, the broader society and the wider world will simply never accept us for who we are.

Despite of all the clamors in this world about acceptance, about love, about diversity and equality, I’m still an outlier, an outsider to the loving, tolerant society that I live in. This world can accept gays, transgender, fat people, and pink haired weirdos, I know, but they can never accept me, a sinful Asian woman.

Forbidden love’s sweet bait from fearful hooks.

All my sense of reason melted away, replaced by an intoxicating rush of desire, as I felt his warm embrace. I betray the trust of those who are close to me, the norm of this society. I broke the Biblical promise, the covenant of Nature, the rightful laws of God and the guidance of the Son of Man.

I want to become a slut for my son and entertain his friends as well.

My son and I just had some wonderful sex and we were relaxing naked in bed. I scrolled through my camera roll showing him some cute memories I had in the past. My heart dropped as I scrolled through the video cover photo of a very sexual video in my photos. It was a clip from a wild weekend where I was taking three white men with large cocks. He grabbed my hand preventing me from scrolling pass it, and said, very firmly, “What is that?”

He clicked the video so he could see for himself. I froze as the video began.

As he watched, his eyes flickered between my naked body and the video. For a moment, I could sense a flash of anger in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by something else. An intense, kinky, deviant desire. He watched the white men grunt as they pounded my pussy and asshole. Their hands were pulling my hair and twisting my nipples as they took turns using me for their pleasure.

All the while I was moaning and I writhed beneath them, sandwiched, happily accepting my place as an Asian whore for white cocks.

He breathed heavier as he watched, his cock growing steadily. He couldn’t help himself, I could sense, seeing me like that, being completely submissive to three white men who were not his dad. He began touching his cock as he watched me continue being fucked by the group of big white men.

He even saw the close-up of me having the cock down my throat. He also saw the close up of both my holes being pounded while my hands were twisted and held behind me. I was like a captive.

Without another word, he pushed me on my back once more.

My son fucking my ass:

Without any lubrication, he put his cock deep into my asshole as I whimpered in response.

He was so rough with me. While he fucked my tight ass he shoved his fingers down my throat and choked me while I drooled and moaned. While this was happening he made me tell him how much of a slut I am and how much I loved taking 3 big white men at once. I obeyed and told him the truth about how much i loved it and wanted it again.

After cumming in my ass he made me send him the video, which he said he was going to share with his friends, and then he told me that next time he might “bring some friends and make a better video”.

I couldn’t help but feel so lucky for this perfect outcome.

I am collared and owned. This is my daily life, my identity. Without my son I am nothing. He is my life, my soul, my everything.

I have had lots of different lovers, friends with benefits, husbands, boyfriends, one-night-stands, etc. At some point I had stopped counting but a rough estimate would put my body count to be around a few hundreds. At some point sex stopped having its meaning. It became a routine almost. “Work. Travel. Sex with strangers. Repeat.” When I was not working, I travelled the world. I have been to almost all the major cities in the world, and I have used the opportunity to have sex with lots and lots of different men: scientists, doctors, billionaires, engineers, college students, Ivy League professors, psychologists, pastors, dancers, actors, politicians, hedge fund portfolio managers, police officers, fire fighters, active duty military personnel, FBI agent. I’ve had sex with all of them.

If there is one author I highly recommend my readers to read, it would most definitely be Walter Benjamin. He wrote a short fragment called “Experience” and it was the most insightful philosophical treatise on a topic that I ever read. I copied and copied his writing again and again, and I could never get enough. In fact, I copied and copied the entire preface to his Trauerspiel no less than ten times and I read it over and over again, and I simply couldn’t get enough of it. And he has another fragmented piece where he talked about writing diary is equivalent to being silent to a prostitute. He is a very mystical writer, he’s like the Kafka of philosophy. If you liked reading Kafka when you were in college, you definitely will like Walter Benjamin.

Erloesung

So I have experienced sex, and yet it was without meaning. It became monotone, even though they were all very interesting men and they were all very well endowed. Something was lacking in my life. I needed passion. I needed danger. Cruelty. Bidding and forbidding. Intoxication. Adrenaline rush.

I want to stand on the precipice of ruin and make my way to the sacrificial altar of despair.

What shocked me, what utterly shocked me, was the soul mate I have been seeking for all my life has been living with me all my life—residing in the reckless, unpredictable and yet utterly captivating body of an 18 year old half white half Asian freak. It was my moment of erloesung.

I call my son a freak as a term of endearment, because he is so sadistic, so ruthless, and yet so effeminate. He is like a little Asian man trapped inside a white man’s body. He reminds me of my grand father, a pure bred Japanese man who used to torture Chinese women for sports during World War II. It’s almost an atavism of the old genetic stock. I love him so much.

I know I am playing a dangerous game. I am risking everything I hold dear. But the heart wants what the heart wants,, and I’m ensnared forever in this web of forbidden love.

Exposing our relationship in front of a friend for the first time.

I don’t have to tell you how much of a Freudian totem and taboo what I’ve been doing is considered by the wider “civilized” society, and one time I had almost exposed myself in front of a friend. She was a girlfriend of mine and we were on a trip together. We shared a one bedroom in an Airbnb. Because of the tight arrangement, we all slept in the same bed. We had been drinking and I was horny. Once my friend was asleep I reached my hand under the blanket to start jerking off my son. He gently played with my pussy and rubbed my clit. I started to let out a moan because of how amazing it felt and was quickly reminded me to stay quiet because my friend had just turned over.

After a little bit of time I stopped worrying, seeing that she was quite deep in sleep and I had a rush over the fact that our friend could wake up and accidentally catch us.

Then my son told me to get on my hands and knees and I did as I was told. With my bare pussy facing the friend that was asleep. This only increased my lust and my fear as my son started to finger me bringing me closer and closer to orgasm. The rush of knowing that our friend could wake up at any time and see my soaking wet pussy and my son fingering me only increased my desires.