180 days of slavery day 6


At 8:30 a.m. Sue was awakened with the “bbzzzzzz, bbbbbzzz, bbbbbzzzzz” in her pussy as her phone rang. She tried to move to answer it, but had forgotten she was all tied up. Once she opened her eyes, she felt the aching in her body from being hog tied last night. She didn’t know what time it was or how long she had been left in this position. Her ass was also sore and felt like she really had to shit. She glanced around the best she could, but didn’t see any movement. But just as she turned her eyes the other way, she saw Judy standing over her with a big smile on her face. God, how she hated this woman. Judy said, “OK, my little slut, time to get busy, but first I want you to have breakfast. You’ll need all the energy you can get today. You are going to be really busy.”

Judy got up on the bed in front of Sue and began undoing the ball gag. She pulled it out of Sue’s sore mouth. It almost seemed there was a loud “POP” as it was removed. Sue stretched her jaws to get them closed. It was hard to do, since she they had forced open and made to stay that way all night. Judy watched her for a minute and said, “OK, breakfast time, susie. I hope you like eggs, because I fixed two hard-boiled ones for you. And since I didn’t want them cold, I kept them warm inside my pussy for you. Now, since I have been so nice to fix your breakfast and have kept it warm, I want you to be a good little slut and suck them out of me. Now, get busy, cunt!”

She moved her pussy right up to Sue’s mouth and grabbed her by the hair, forcing her mouth over it. “Suck those eggs out bitch and make sure you only get one at a time. You will chew it up once you have it in your mouth and then swallow. Once both eggs are eaten, I’ll get you something to drink.”

Sue licked inside, trying to feel the eggs, but couldn’t, and knew Judy must have pushed them way up inside herself. So she opened her mouth and clamped it over Judy’s pussy, and started sucking. She thought she must look like a little kid trying to suck a bottle, but couldn’t get the milk. Judy helped her a little by using her muscles to push the eggs closer to the entrance. she wanted this little asian whore to get it all and would help her out. Especially since she had a nice surprise for her when she got both eggs down.

Sue sucked really hard on the cunt in her mouth and finally, the first egg “popped” out of Judy’s cunt, right into her mouth. Judy pulled back a little ways as soon as she felt the egg exit her pussy. She said, “That’s one, susie slut, now chew it up and swallow it. All of it!” Judy still had Sue’s hair in her hands, so Sue had no choice but to chew the egg. Besides, she was a little hungry. Once she bit into it, and the yoke was in her mouth, the egg seemed to be very dry. she chewed and chewed until finally she was able to swallow it all. Just as she swallowed the last of the egg, Judy pulled her right back into her cunt and told her to get the other out. Sue did her best, knowing if she didn’t, she would get punished. And she didn’t want this white woman to get the satisfaction of whipping her, so she sucked extra hard. Of course, Judy’s cunt was helping her, since she was getting close to cumming from having Sue suck her so hard. Her cunt muscles helped push the second egg down to the entrance and soon, she felt it pop out into Sue’s waiting mouth. Without being told, Sue started chewing as Judy pulled back a little to give her room to chew. Then she would give the little slut a treat. Sue chewed the second egg up and choked it down. It was so dry, she had a hard time swallowing it, but finally managed to get it all down. Then Judy pulled her back to her cunt and said, “Before you can drink, you have to make me cum!” Wanting to quench her thirst, Sue got busy licking the cunt that was forced into her mouth and it wasn’t long before Judy screamed with an immense orgasm. Then, as she quieted down, Sue thought she would get untied and get something to drink. But Judy had other plans. She said to the bound girl, “OK, now your drink. Hold your mouth right over my pussy and pee hole! You will drink every drop of what I give you and if you spill any, you’ll lick it up. And, slut, you won’t be changing these sheets for a long time, so don’t dribble on them.” As soon as Sue had her mouth on Judy’s pussy, she got the first squirt of hot yellow piss in her mouth. Sue gulped, choked, and swallowed it all. Judy had a lot of piss built up and was so relieved to finally let it out. She just laughed to herself, wondering what others would think if they knew the chink whore had been turned into a piss slut. Finally she stopped pissing, and even though she tried to get more out, she couldn’t. But she did hold Sue’s head in her crotch for a while longer, just to make sure. Then she told Sue to lick her clean before she untied her. Finally Judy was satisfied that she had pissed all she could and that her pussy was clean. She moved back away from Sue and got off the bed. She didn’t untie her slut right away. Instead, she got the camera out and took several pictures of Sue all tied up. She kept saying, “Yes, this will look good in the scrap book and we can use it later.”

Sue was shocked by what she was saying. Now, she wasn’t sure if she would ever be free from being a slut to these two people. Especially since now there was more evidence about what she was doing.


“Yes, Ma’am,” replied Sue, “I am ready”

“Good, then start!” said Judy, “but don’t take any jeans or pants out of the closet. We look about the same size, so all those will now belong to me.”

Sue started taking the clothes out, one at a time, showing Judy what she had.
First were her skirts, then her dresses. She avoided the jeans and pants, just as she had been told. As she took them out, Judy had her hold them up to her and some she even made Sue model. The ones that were short enough went into pile number one. The ones that were too long, but could be altered went into pile number two. And those that Judy didn’t like at all went into pile number three. Those were the ones Sue would have to dispose of later on. Once the closet was emptied of her clothes, except her jeans and pants, Judy said, “OK, cunt face, now take pile number one and put them all in your new closet. Pile number two, I want you to put in this bag and placed on the floor of your new closet. As for pile number three, just leave it there for now.”

Sue was hating this, but complied with her Mistress’ orders. Finally, she got the two piles put where Judy had told her. When she returned to what was once her bedroom, She was told to pull all her panties and bras out and put them in the remaining pile. Sue wanted to ask why, but was afraid if she questioned, she would be punished by this bitch and then by the captain later on. So, she did as she was told.

Once she had all her bras and panties in the pile, she was told to start on her T-shirts and shorts in the same way she did her other clothes, but these she had to put on one at a time. Sue put the shorts and T-shirts on and Judy would tell her either in the last pile or to start a new one. When she was done, the third pile seemed quite large, and only a few shorts and T-shirts ended up in the new pile.

“Now, susie slut, that large pile of clothes that you have, I want you to stuff in this garbage bag. The other pile will be taken to your room and put in the dresser,” ordered Judy.

Sue cried while she was doing everything she was told to do.

Judy handed Sue a pair of shorts, she knew didn’t belong to her and a little top to go with it. Judy said, “Now put these on so we can go get my things.”

Sue struggled to get the clothes on. They seemed to be too small for her. Once she had them on, she glanced in the full length mirror and saw that they were so tight that her cunt was sticking out in the front, her ass looked like it was about to bust the seams and the top didn’t hide her little tits at all. Then Judy said, “Go wait beside the car, I’ll be with you in a moment.” Sue reluctantly went outside and stood beside the car to wait for Judy. As she was waiting, her phone went off.
“bbbbbbzzzzzzz,bbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz,bbbbbbbzzzzzzzz” it went inside her cunt.
Sue tried to reach into the shorts to get it, but couldn’t get her hand inside the tight material. The phone continued to ring. “bbbbbbzzzzzzz,bbbbbbbzzzzzzzz.” She knew she was in trouble and tried her best to get to it, but couldn’t. So, she just pulled her shorts down to her knees and pulled it out of her cunt. “Hheelloo,” she answered. “What took you so long, slut? your phone rang six times before you answered it. you are in trouble now,” said the captain on the other end.

“Bbbbbuuutttt, sir,” cried Sue, “Judy has these really tight shorts on me, and I couldn’t get it out.”

“No excuse, cunt,” yelled the captain, “you’ll get punished tonight.” Then he hung up.

Sue just stood there in shock, not realizing she was on the street with her shorts down and her cunt in plain view. When she finally remembered where she was, it was too late, since a car load of young boys had driven by and honked the horn, yelling, “Nice Asian cunt, what a whore, wanna fuck?” Quickly, she shoved the phone back into her cunt, hurting herself, and pulled her shorts up. Then she just stood and waited for Judy to come out. But because of the exposure, her cunt was really wet and it showed right through the thin shorts she had been made to wear. Finally Judy showed up and told Sue to get in. She got in the driver’s side and drove to her little apartment. She was so happy to get out of that little place and get into a big house, where she had lots of room to play. And she even had a maid to clean up after her and she didn’t have to pay rent any more. They arrived at Judy’s place and she took Sue inside. She said, “OK, let’s start in the bedroom. Get all my clothes out, fold them neatly and pack them in the suitcases on the top shelf. And be quick about it! We still have a lot to do before the captain comes to get us.”

So, she began taking clothes from the closet, folding them up and packing them away in the suitcases. Judy just sat back, watching her and talking to several different people on the phone. Sue overheard her telling some of them that she was moving into a bigger house and had an Asian maid and servant to do all her work for her. She gave them Sue’s home phone number and address, asking them to call or stop by to see her. Sue was getting totally pissed off, but continued her work. Soon she had the closet empty and Judy said, as she asked someone to hold a moment, “OK, now slut, clean out my dresser, making sure you get everything put in neatly.”

Again Sue began her duties and opened the dresser drawers, pulling out Judy’s pretty little undies, folding them up and packing them away. Once she had the dresser done, Judy went through the rest of the apartment with her, pointing things out, telling Sue what needed to be packed. When everything had been packed, she told Sue to take all the suitcases and bags out to the car, put them in the trunk and just wait for her. Sue did as commanded and when everything was packed neatly in the trunk, she waited by the car for her.

Sue was tired, but also hot. her little shorts were wet from sweating and also from her pussy being hot and juicy. Once again, she thought about having a big white cock in her cunt, fucking her. But this only made her wetter and the wetter she got, the more transparent her shorts got. As soon as Judy appeared, she saw how wet and hot Sue was and decided that the little cunt needed to cool off. So she said, “susie, my pet, walk over here.” She took Sue to the side of the apartment building where the pool was. Next to the pool was a shower, and she said, “Get in and cool off, susie.” Sue looked at her and decided that it would be good to cool off some, and started to remove her clothes so she could shower. But she was stopped when Judy said, “No, just get in the way you are. We don’t have time for you to get naked!”

Sue hesitated, knowing that if she got wet with her clothes on, she would be seen just as if she was naked. But as soon as she looked at Judy, she knew she had to do it. Judy was giving her one of those, “Come on, defy me, bitch” looks. Sue just turned on the water and stepped in, allowing the cool spray to cascade over her. Once she was totally wet, Judy said, “OK, now get out and let’s head for home.”

Sue was happy to be able to get inside the cover of the car, but was shocked with what came next. As she started to get into the car, Judy said, “Wait just a minute, susie slut. I can’t have you dripping wet in the car. It’s not that far to our house, so why don’t you walk there. I’ll be along in a moment.”

“But, i will be seen,” cried Sue.

“So what,” yelled Judy, “you have been seen with nothing on. Maybe you would
like to get out of the clothes and walk home. Once those dry, it won’t look like
you are naked. Now move it, bitch!”

Crying, Sue knew she had to walk, so she set out for her house. She felt lucky that it wasn’t too far away and hoped that no one would see her. Judy went back to check out of her apartment, and then got in the car to follow behind the little slut. Sue walked down the street, knowing that anyone looking would see everything she had: her tits, her cunt and her ass. She could feel the clothes begin to dry as she walked and only a few cars passed by. However, a couple young teenage boys were riding by on their bicycles and whistled at her, then turned around and followed her for awhile. She knew they could see everything and she quickened her pace, ignoring their comments. They continued to pester her and tried to get her to talk to them, but she still ignored them. she just wanted to get home. Sue continued walking, trying to get away from the boys, when suddenly Judy
pulled up beside her and ordered, “Stop right there, cunt!”

The order scared her, since she did not expect Judy to be there. But she stopped and stood still. Judy got out of the car and asked, “Did those white boys try talking to you?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” said Sue.

“And did you talk back to them?” asked Judy.

“No, Ma’am, i didn’t,” stated Sue, quite proud of herself. At least for the moment, until Judy said, “Come on over here, boys.”

Sue was shocked because she thought they had left. They all gathered around to see what would happen. Judy asked them, “Did she just ignore you?”

“Yea, she did!” they all said together.

“susie slut, don’t you know better than to ignore white men when they are trying to be nice to you. I think you owe them an apology, don’t you?” questioned Judy.

“Yyeess, Ma’am,” cried Sue, “i’m sorry for ignoring you. It won’t happen again.”

“Not good enough!” yelled Judy, “Now, you will have to pay for your lack of respect to these young white men. Follow me, susie, and you boys come along, too.”

Judy headed off into a wooded area beside the road. Once they were among the
trees, Judy said, “Now, show them!”

“Bbbbuuuutttt,” cried Sue.

“No, don’t say it, just strip!” ordered Judy, “and be quick about it!”

Sue knew better than to hesitate and quickly got her top off. But she did go slower in removing her shorts. And this cost her as soon as they cleared her ass.

“SMACK”, as Judy slapped her naked ass and said, “faster cunt!”

Sue quickly shed her shorts and stood before them all naked. “Is this what you boys wanted to see?” asked Judy. They all said, “YES” at the same time, with big smiles on their faces.

Then Judy did something that shocked Sue and made her cry even more. She said, “Well little chink cunt, I think you owe these boys a little more, so get on your knees and beg to suck their white cocks.” Sue hated doing this, but knew if she didn’t obey Judy, she would be in big trouble. The captain already said she would be punished for not answering her phone in time and if she refused this, she would suffer twice as much. So down on her knees she went and said, “Please, may i suck your white cocks?” All the boys were surprised, but since they all had hard-ons, they pulled them out and Sue crawled to each, one at a time. She reluctantly put them in her mouth and sucked them until each of them had cum in her mouth and she swallowed it all.


Then Judy told her to put her clothes back on and get home. She would be there in just a few moments when she finished talking to these white boys. Finally she was at her door, but couldn’t get in until Judy showed up. Her tormentors had taken all her keys away from her and she couldn’t even enter her house without them. She felt like a prisoner. Just like someone she had put into jail. Once Judy arrived, she allowed Sue inside, but quickly gave her orders to get her things from the car, carry them into the house and put them away in the closet that used to hold her clothes. While she was slaving away at the hands of this bitch, the phone rang and she heard Judy talking. When she hung up, she said, “susie slut, that was the Captain and he will be here in an hour to pick us up. He told me what to dress you in and said to make sure that your cunt was really wet. So, as soon as you
get done, you’ll start playing with that little whore cunt and get juicy.”

Sue didn’t have much more to go, and as soon as Judy saw everything was in the house and put away in her new bedroom, she said, “OK, slut, strip!”

Sue was out of breath from having to do all the work, but decided to do as she was told. No sense in arguing with Judy, since she would lose anyway. So, she stripped down and stood before her white Mistress naked. As soon as Sue was nude, Judy said, “OK, slut, start playing with that cunt. But, don’t you dare cum. the captain wants you hot and horny when he arrives. Don’t stop until he shows up.”

How she hated doing these things, and wished she had told the captain to go ahead and deport her. At least in China, she wouldn’t be doing these terrible things for her white master and mistress. She could have managed and then worked her way back to the states legally. She stood right where Judy had left her, playing with her pussy. she was so hot and horny, that she would have fucked anyone just to get off. Maybe the captain would fuck her tonight instead of that cunt Judy.

When the captain walked in, Judy met him at the door and gave him a big juicy kiss. He laughed as he watched Sue playing with herself, then said, “OK, go with Judy and get dressed. We have something to take care of tonight. And pick out a nice little lock to carry with you.”

Judy took Sue to her new bedroom and made her dress in a very short skirt that barely covered her ass and a very sheer white blouse. Then came the six-inch high heels. Sue was so embarrassed, knowing that they would be out in public again and she looked like she was an asian whore. But that’s what the captain wanted and Sue put them on, thinking maybe she could get fucked by someone tonight, even if she had to be a whore to get a cock in her pussy. Once she was dressed, Judy brought her out to where the captain was waiting. He looked her over and approved of the clothes and said, “Very nice. Now, let’s get going so we don’t miss your appointment.”

Sue wondered what appointment Judy was referring to. Getting in the car, she had to sit between the other two. the captain made her open her legs and play with her pussy while they rode. she was not allowed to cover up, even if someone looked in the windows as they drove. And, of course, as he drove, he made sure that he drove slowly when he thought someone might be looking. Sue was turning red in the face, but her cunt was so hot and wet that she would have taken any
cock offered to her. She realized where they were as soon as he pulled into the mall parking lot. She
was thinking about the last time she was here and hoped it wouldn’t be as bad as that. But she had survived the last trip and she would survive this one, too. Getting out of the car, she was told to walk a short distance in front of them, making sure to wiggle her slutty little ass, just like a common streetwalker would do. Then they started walking, with Sue leading the way with her little ass, which was almost visible, wiggling quite nicely. They entered the mall and walked down the main hall. the captain said he would tell her when to stop. About halfway through the mall the captain said, “OK, susie, stop!”

Sue looked around and saw they were in front of a place that sold earrings and did piercings. she wondered what he had on his mind, being right in front of this place. Once they caught up to her he said, “Just follow us in and do not say anything!”

Walking into the shop, the captain talked to one of the clerks asking, “Is Stephanie here?”

The clerk said, “Yes, just a moment and I’ll get her for you.”

The three of them waited for a few moments and then a beautiful young Asian
woman came out to greet them. She walked up to the trio and said, “Hello, I’m Stephanie Lam. Are you the person that made a special appointment with me?”

The captain said, “Yes. Do we have a special room reserved?”

“Yes, just follow me,” said Stephanie and turned toward the back of the store.

She led them into the back room and closed the door behind them, then asked,
“So, what can I do for you. I didn’t quite understand what you wanted when you called.”

The captain said, “Well, Stephanie, we want you to pierce this little asian slut’s ear and attach a special item we brought along. Can you do that?”

“I think so,” said Stephanie. “What do you want to attach to her ear?”

“You did bring that lock with you, didn’t you, susie slut?” asked the captain.
“Give it to Stephanie so she can see it.”

Sue was very embarrassed and visibly upset, but gave the lock to Stephanie. She studied it for a moment and then said, “What ear do you want this in? I have a tool that will make the right size hole, so let’s get busy.”

Judy spoke up, saying, “Put it in her right ear! I think more people notice the right side of a person. And if you do a good job, we might hire you to pierce her in other places, too.”

Sue was led to a chair and was told to sit down. “NO, i won’t do it. You can’t do this to me!” yelled Sue.

The captain got pissed off when he heard this and said, “Just a moment, Stephanie, I have to correct this little slut. Sue follow me.” Sue followed him, quite proud of herself for standing up to them. But her pride was soon dashed, when she got to the other side of the room. The captain said,
“You’ll pay for that outburst, bitch, now bend over and grab your ankles!”

Sue just stood there! She wasn’t going to allow any more humiliation. But the captain grabbed her by the hair and forced her to bend at the waist. It hurt her and she knew she couldn’t escape, so she just grabbed her ankles. Then the captain lifted her skirt, exposing her naked ass. He took his belt and the next sound that was heard was, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK! Her ass was on fire and had turned a pretty red from the five swats she received. “Now cunt, are you going to obey, or do I have to strip you naked and make you leave here like that?”

“i’ll bbbbeeehhhaavvve, sir,” she cried They headed back to the chair and sat down. Once she was sitting, Judy and the captain each took an arm and handcuffed her to the arms of the chair so she couldn’t move. “OK, Stephanie, please continue,” said the captain.

Stephanie decided to play along with them and just went to work preparing Sue’s right ear and getting all of her tools together. Then she was ready to put the hole in Sue’s ear. She said, “OK, now you’ll feel a little pain, but don’t move. If you do, I might damage your ear.”

Sue sat there quietly, shaking. she knew she didn’t want this to happen and it made it worse, knowing if she moved her ear might be permanently scarred.

Stephanie took hold of Sue’s ear and brought the tool up to it. Lining it up, she positioned it in the center. Then she squeezed hard and Sue felt the pain. She almost jumped when she felt it puncture her ear, but stayed still like she was told. It was over with real quick, and Stephanie told the captain he could now put the lock in.

the captain pushed the lock through the hole in her ear and snapped it shut with a loud “CLICK!”

“you are mine, cunt! This little lock signifies that you are mine and only I can unlock it!” said the captain as Judy stepped up with a mirror in her hand. She said, “Look, susie! It is so cute in your ear!” Sue closed her eyes so she couldn’t see it, but opened them quickly when Judy
slapped her face and said, “I said look! Now look!”

Sue started crying harder now, knowing that everyone would see it and ask questions. What would she tell them? What would her parents think. Oh God, how could she ever face anyone again. The captain told her to thank Stephanie, which she did while the captain took care of the bill using Sue’s credit card. Then, he asked if Stephanie did other parts of the body besides ears. Her answer was, “Yes, I do, but not here. I usually go to the customer’s house and do it and it does cost more.”

Judy said, “Very good! Give me your number and we’ll contact you when we need some more done.” The captain was ready to go. All of this had made his cock hard and he wanted to get home and fuck Judy all night long.


Leaving the mall, they rushed to the car. The only thing the two could think of was fucking and didn’t want to waste any time. But just as they got to the car, in the parking lot, the Captain said, “Show me, slut!”

Sue cried more and begged, “Please, sir, not here.”

“Shut up cunt and do it, NOW!” he yelled. “Unless you want me to rip those slutty little clothes off you.”

Sue slowly looked around and began to remove her clothes right there in the open parking lot. Once she was naked, the captain pulled her hands behind her back and handcuffed them, then put her in the back seat. The other two got in and headed for Sue’s house.

Arriving, they got her out of the car and headed for the door. Judy opened it and as soon as they got in, both started stripping. They stripped while they made their way into the big bedroom, which was now Judy’s. By the time they were ready to get into bed, they were both naked, leaving their clothes strewn about the floor from the front door all the way to the bed. Sue had followed them, not knowing what else to do.

The two naked people jumped into the bed and without any foreplay, the captain sunk his cock deep into Judy’s waiting cunt. Judy was in heaven, feeling his big shaft sink deep inside her, filling her up. She wanted to fuck without an audience this time and said, “susie slut, be a good little cunt and pick up our clothes.”

“i can’t do that without my hands. the captain still has me cuffed,” stated Sue, hoping she could get out of the tight cuffs around her wrists.

“Then use your mouth, bitch, just do it and leave us alone,” ordered Judy. “Now go, bitch!”

Slowly Sue made her way back to the other room and looked at the clothes. She tried to reach down with her hands, but couldn’t get to the clothes. She knew that if they weren’t picked up by the time those two finished fucking, she would be in trouble. She took Judy’s advice and began to pick up the clothes with her mouth. She picked up one article at a time and carried them to the laundry room and dropped them into the clothes hamper.

She got down to their underwear and socks, not really wanting those dirty things in her mouth. She hesitated. She was listening to the sounds coming from the other room, wanting to get herself fucked so much. All of the things that had happened to her made her so hot and horny. She needed to be fucked! She finally got down to pick up Judy’s soiled panties and the only way she could pick the up was by the crotch, right where Judy’s cunt had been leaking onto them. It didn’t taste great, but Sue managed to get them into the laundry room. Then she worked on the captain’s underwear and finally their socks.

By the time she finished, she looked up and saw the two of them standing in the doorway watching her. Judy said, “OK, susie slut, time for bed. Go to your room and get on the bed, on your back.”

Sue was tired from all the activities and went straight to the little room that she had to stay in. she wanted her big bed back, but knew she wasn’t going to get it for at least 60 days. So, she lay down ready to sleep.

Judy and the captain followed her in and tied her wrists to the headboard of the bed. Then each took a leg, raised it into the air and tied a rope around her ankles. Then they pulled the rope back, lacing it through the headboard and pulled hard. Her body began to bend in half. The more they pulled the ropes, the farther up her feet went toward the head of the bed. They pulled some more and when Sue looked down all she could see was her own cunt. It seemed to be looking right back at her in this position.

Judy said, “Ron, how far do you think we can get her. Think we can bend the little slut enough so she can lick herself?” The captain laughed and said, “Well, maybe, but let’s not do it tonight. I think
this is far enough. Let’s tie her off and then get back to bed and fuck all night. I’m going to spend the night with you, exploring all of your beautiful body.”

“MMMM,” said Judy, “In that case, let’s hurry. Can’t wait to have that wonderful cock back in my cunt.”

They tied off the ropes, and Judy reached into Sue’s hot pussy to get the phone. She plugged it in so it would keep a good charge and then shoved it back inside. The captain got the butt plug, lubed it up and shoved it into Sue’s well-exposed ass.

Then they said, “Good  night, little susie slut. Sleep well”

Author: jennifer suzuki

I have been a very confused—some might say very conflicted—girl ever since I can remember and I have always lived in a fantasy world of my own making. I was born in Japan, my mother is Chinese and my father is Japanese, and my father's mother or my grandmother was German Dutch, and I came to the United States as a teenager and lived and went to school in Maryland, and worked in New York. I lived in fantasy worlds since I was a teenager and I have always done so, sometimes so deep in my own fantasy I forgot my own identity. I no longer knew who I am. Physically I look more European than asian. My father is of mixed heritage—he has white blond hair, but he also has some distinctly Japanese features. On the other hand my features mostly resembled my grandmother, who was a full blooded European woman. Which was not something that really bothered me. Actually most modern Japanese look very European compared to the rest of asians. My father was a sadist, and my mother, on the other hand, was, in my opinion, a masochist with no self respect. Growing up, seeing my father beating my mother was almost as frequent as having dinner, and when not beating her, she was constantly being humiliated and degraded, like having to serve dinner to him naked on her knees or being tied to an utility pole only in her panties during the winter. At first I believed my mother was a victim, a unfortunate human being in the hands of a cruel evil man, but as I grew older I realized that it was my mother who enjoyed being treated this way. The initial realization made me feel she was a disgusting, perverted, sick person, but as I grew older I began to have the almost identical sexual fantasies that my mother lived and experienced through. I began to think that my mother was the luckiest woman on earth since apparently she had found a man who understood her desires and could give them to her. My dad studied and worked in America before, and during that period he desperately wanted to marry a white woman, and vehemently pursued several white women, but was unsuccessful. At the same time Japanese women were unwilling to marry him. Maybe because just like him they were looking to marry into the white race, or maybe because he had sadistic tendencies. Out of options he settled to look for a Chinese woman. Statistically, marriages between Chinese women and Japanese men have been quite common, and I personally knew quite a few couples just like my mother and father. Even here in America I knew several Chinese women who had Japanese boyfriends and those women were actually quite proud of having superior Japanese men as boyfriends. Japanese in general look much more European compared to other asians and I suspect it was the putative European appearance that attracts other asian women. Of course Japanese are not Europeans, no matter how much we try to become European, just as Jews will never be fully accepted as White Christians. I think Jews and Japanese have a lot in common. We were both persecuted by Europeans, the Jews by Germans, and Japanese by Americans, yet we both come to love our white Masters. Jews weren't officially considered white until very recently, and I think as time progresses eventually Japanese will be categorized as white in the future, though Jews and Japanese will always know that they are still inferior to their Nordic Masters. But as always the Jews will be Masters over the Arabs and the Japanese will be Masters over the rest of Asia. There is no other meaning to life, other than the degree of domination. I had an older sister who looked fully asian, as opposed to me who looked much more European. And ever since childhood I have always known for a fact that I was treated better by everyone else because of my distinctly European appearance. In school classmates would be hesitant to tease me because they always thought my father might be an American or an European man even though they knew my mother was Chinese but somehow they still were afraid of me solely because of my European appearance. The thing was that in Japanese naming system, my mother's last name automatically gets attached to mine, so for example, my name in Japanese would actually be "Suzuki Liu Jennifer", because my mother's maiden name is Liu; this way everyone would instantly know my mother is Chinese. On the other hand my sister was bullied almost everyday by upper classmates because she looked very Chinese. They made fun of her hair and clothes and told her that she looked like a Chinese pig and I had seen boys pulling down her pants and laughing at her for having a "Chinese vagina". I was a very young girl back then and I felt ashamed of having her as a sister so in school I didn't talk to her at all. When I was 12 years old, she committed suicide by hanging herself in her closet. I know this because I was the one who discovered her body. My parents would have never told me about her death if I did not saw her dead body by myself. And ever since her death a dark cloud formed over my head and throughout my teenager years I was constantly harrowed by thoughts of suicide. It was not until I was much older that I learned suicide is infectious and that had been why I was constantly thinking about suicide. The realization made me try not to think too much about death, but no matter how much I try I can never get her image out of my head. Sometimes I feel she still haunts me because I didn't talk to her in school. My parents divorced when I was 14 and I went to live with my mom in China for two years. Contrary to popular beliefs, I had never experienced any form of racism or discrimination against me when I was living in China. Most people assumed that I was an European girl and the aura of being European seemed to make me inapproachable, like the shield of Athena covering me from head to toe. Even when I was in school, when classmates would know my father was Japanese because of my last name, I had never really felt any discrimination, though I did feel they were kind of afraid of me. I had never realized how much being White meant until I was in America: the symbol of power, domination, and superiority that being White implies. Being White is being the entelechy of all that is beautiful, good and righteous. Which is strange because my nationality still is, in actuality, Japanese and as I grew older I started to look more asian. My hair has gotten completely dark and my looks started to resemble my mother's. I used to have very light-colored hair, but I just felt fortunate that I do not look fully asian like my sister was. When I saw this image [of a naked asian woman kneeling next to a black furred dog] in a Japanese SM magazine a few days ago, all of a sudden I remembered seeing my mother in a similar position when I was maybe just 5 or 6 years old. It was not a pleasant experience; it was an extremely scary and traumatic experience, and growing up I heard constant moaning and muffled screams coming from my parents' bedroom. Every evening was a nightmare to fall asleep. But knowing that many asian women were treated the same way as my mother had been treated somehow made me feel better about my own family. At least my parents were not as weird as they seemed, and while growing up I had gradually come to realize that many asian girls have the same masochistic tendencies as I do, but many were just very shy and wouldn't admit their secrets. So it seems there are many masochistic asian women out there who thrives on been humiliated and degraded just like the girl in this image; I don't know why but this image made me feel kind of normal. I have lived in the States for nearly ten years now and I have not talked to my parents, who had divorced, for several years, especially to my mother whom I had some very severe arguments with over the years, especially when she remarried after she went back to China. I was more fond of my father though I haven't really talked to him that much either because he too had remarried. Despite all the mean things I had said about my dad, he was always very gentle with me and never beat me. He beat my sister and my mother but never me and I suspect he was much more gentle with me because of my more European looks. I felt their divorce was a punishment for me, as if they had abandoned me and I never felt comfortable with either of them or their new spouses, whether it be in China or in Japan. My mother's new husband was a very cruel and domineering white man living in China and he never treated me with the same special treatment I received from my dad. And I remember one time when I went out with him people on the street mistook me for his wife and I felt so disgusted I never wanted to go out with him again and then he would yell at me and yell at my mom. I am glad to have gotten out of there. And my dad ... well let's just say I couldn't bear to coexist with his new wife either. The last time we talked was already 3 years ago. This image had brought back so many long forgotten yearnings. I miss my sister and my parents. The memory of my sister and my parents started to fade away, like wavering forms they passed before my clouded sight; their images have become a blur rise about me out of mist and cloud; their faces, and their figures have become shades of phantoms; I wanted to hold you close to me in that blessed fleeting moment when you reappeared to me in my dreams. If only I possessed the strength to draw you near. I wanted to forever remember you—you bear the images of happy days; your airy smiles still stir youthful tremors in my breast—but my memory faltered. It would have been simpler if I were already dead. I would never be seized again by those long forgotten yearnings. I shuddered at those thoughts; and a tear draws other tears. Crying is my only form of release; through crying I am channeled to the solemn and silent world of spirits; crying is my whispered prayer that lingers in a vagrant tone. I have no one to talk to. I live in solitary confinement. I have been driven to madness even though physically I stay put. My life—full of dolor, pain and suffering. Sometimes I wish I could end it. The only reason I continue to live is for otherwise I lack the courage to carry out that final act, to take me beyond and step into the unknown. It is so much better to have been never born at all, or at least to die an immediate death. How sweet and wonderful death would be. My dear Aya, I am so very sorry! A vast space of nothingness in the empty universe fills my heart. Everyday of my life I live in terror because of you. A family dog Growing up, I always felt lonely. My family dog was my only companion. He was a slightly larger than a medium sized dog, with grey and dark fur, and a nozzle that resembled a wolf. He was so cute, so adorable, and he was my only friend. I often played with him in my desperate attempts to communicate with another living being, like Madame Bovary sitting by her fire place in a melancholic longing for escape. I want out!, out of this nonchalant prison of thoughts, out of this cruel alienated society, out of these mind forged manacles whose clanking I hear like looming madness; the marks of domestication on their faces, marks of psychological slavery, marks of intellectual death; they are mere automatons, inanimate objects, so lifeless like straw men, hollow men, stuffed men. I can't bare to look at those miserable beings' faces. In a domesticated dog I see more humanity than the entire humanity. If only my family dog can take me away! And I will elope with him to a happy place, where there is no more sorrow, no more dread, no more cold metallic prison walls of the mind. My family dog was my only friend, and he was my only confidante. To him I entrusted all my deepest secrets. Sometimes I wished I was a dog: no more worries, no more sadness, no more consciousness, no more thoughts, just the need to satisfy my most basic instincts, lying by my owner's feet, worshiping him and completely dependent on him. Sometimes I wish I could have another dog just like the family dog I used to have in Japan. And he will be my husband. I will belong to him. I will be his bitch. I will obey him, crawl under his belly, gently caress his furs with my soft hands, and please him like I would please my husband. And he will be my beast and I will be his beauty. Albeit he will be a gentle beast, always so obedient to me, and yet always so much more aggressive, and animalistic; he will protect me from harm, with his sharp fangs and naturally endowed muscles for chasing down his prey; and yet he will honor me and obey me like a lover would. He will never be jealous, never be angry, as long as he is fed and watered. He will be my best friend.

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